Prego SIL/BIL Vent

ilysarahd · January 2014

My SIL seems to hate being pregnant(I know it's not for everyone)! I know not everyone loves it but her and BIL aren't even excited. BIL said the other day they don't want anything baby/pregnancy related because "there's still a chance it won't make it" WTH!!! She is 16 weeks, I suppose there will always be a chance until LO comes out but come on. They are supposed to find out tomorrow what they are having but they are more worried about how long the appt will be. BIL already said he will be extremely disappointed if it's a girl. She stopped taking her prenatals because she said they make her sick well she's still nauseous w/o them. Oh and she has been taking allergy meds(unsafe) ones w/o DR. permission because she can't handle the sniffles. She is so miserable!! I want to shake her and say "wake up there's a baby in there...BE HAPPY". They had been TTC for 2 years so you'd think they'd be overjoyed. Hopefully they will change their tune! Had to vent because I was surprised at how unhappy they seem.

tamarar5 · January 2014

Omg... shaking my head. How sad for their child! This attitude reminds me of my mom's cousin. During their divorce the parents fought over everything from the house, cars, jewelry, to the dog and future timeshare vacation spots. The only thing they didn't fight over was their 7 year old daughter... WHO THEY PUT UP FOR ADOPTION BECAUSE NEITHER WANTED HER.

Even worse, they didn't tell family what they were doing so we weren't even given the option of adopting her. Selfish $###%&&@ ba$tards didn't want to risk seeing her at family functions so they had her adopted by strangers and cut all ties.

Makes you sick to think of it, doesn't it? And yes. She was 7 YEARS old, not 7 months.

tdmd09 · January 2014

While I definitely side-eye her taking medication without her doctor's OK, I think you are being too hard on them about them not appearing overjoyed. There may be more to their TTC journey than they have told you about. I wasn't excited about my pregnancy with my son until after the A/S because I had had two miscarriages and was constantly afraid to get attached. Their comment about not wanting baby things just in case, made me think there may be a basis for their concern that you're not aware of. I didn't buy anything for my son until after the A/S, because I didn't want something to be wrong at my A/S and then have baby things staring at me in my home.

Just a thought.

wifeofadam · January 2014

TamaraR4 said:

Omg... shaking my head. How sad for their child! This attitude reminds me of my mom's cousin. During their divorce the parents fought over everything from the house, cars, jewelry, to the dog and future timeshare vacation spots. The only thing they didn't fight over was their 7 year old daughter... WHO THEY PUT UP FOR ADOPTION BECAUSE NEITHER WANTED HER.

You have to be kidding with this. Real people don't do things like this, do they? That poor child. I want to cry for her.

downtown80 · January 2014

+adamwife+ said:

TamaraR4 said:

Omg... shaking my head. How sad for their child! This attitude reminds me of my mom's cousin. During their divorce the parents fought over everything from the house, cars, jewelry, to the dog and future timeshare vacation spots. The only thing they didn't fight over was their 7 year old daughter... WHO THEY PUT UP FOR ADOPTION BECAUSE NEITHER WANTED HER.

You have to be kidding with this. Real people don't do things like this, do they? That poor child. I want to cry for her.

I second this. How horrible for that child. But hopefully she's in a home with a family that actually loves her and wants her each and every day.

But she's old enough to have some type of emotional struggle and attachment issues because of this. Poor child!

I hope that your family has cut ties with that cousin.

holly321 · January 2014

tdmd09 said:
While I definitely side-eye her taking medication without her doctor's OK, I think you are being too hard on them about them not appearing overjoyed. There may be more to their TTC journey than they have told you about. I wasn't excited about my pregnancy with my son until after the A/S because I had had two miscarriages and was constantly afraid to get attached. Their comment about not wanting baby things just in case, made me think there may be a basis for their concern that you're not aware of. I didn't buy anything for my son until after the A/S, because I didn't want something to be wrong at my A/S and then have baby things staring at me in my home.

Just a thought.
</blockquote

This. I am pretty confident I didn't seem the least happy when I was pregnant with ds. It was after my loss, which occurred once your " safe". And then I had one scare after another.

octobermama87 · January 2014

@TamaraR4 wow. Yes, reading that does make me sick. WTF? You have to be completely effing self absorbed to do something like that to your own child. What kind of sick world we live in today? :-L

musicalmama5 · January 2014

I agree that there may be some TTC issues that you might not know about, but it's still hard to watch people act like that. Hopefully they will come around after the A/S and start getting excited!

And @TamaraR4 I have no words. That is tragic.

Rosebean · January 2014

@tamarar4 it is just unbelievable that your cousins could do that to their 7 year old. However, I am going to pull out a dr. Phil quote: "it is better to be from a broken home, than be in a broken home for one more day". That little girl deserves more than those selfish parents. I hope she found a loving family and sorry that the rest of your family has been robbed of her love and presence.

Myzticsunshine · January 2014

That second story is absolutely heart breaking.

Some people should have their rights to ever have children taken away.

As far as your IL's, that is a little upsetting. I'm wondering if maybe their attitude about it is negative because they had a hard time conceiving to begin with. Some couples facing those issues can become discouraged, so maybe they're just so used to the let down that they're just trying not to prematurely "get their hopes up". I mean that's pretty far in to be as pessimistic about it as it sounds through this post, but I can see that as a possibility

tamarar5 · January 2014

@ilysarahd I would be frustrated with that situation too. It would be so hard to be around someone who seemed to take pregnancy so carelessly, especially after having a baby of my own, especially after several losses. However, the most benefits from penetrators come very early in the first trip, often before one even knows they are pregnant. But I completely fell your pain too.

As far as my awful relative- I don't even want to call them that- luckily, she was afopted by an amazing couple who idolize her and she has been getting some very much needed counseling. Though the relatives have not been able to visit her (now 9 I think, we weren't close before the divorce and no one will talk to them now) we have been given a few letters and Christmas cards from her adoptive family. Though we all wish we could have been given the chance to adopt her ourselves, she truly is with an amazing family who love her unconditionally.

And I've got to say that is probably a fear cry from her birth donors.

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