Tips for returning to work

lolob45 · December 2013

I return to work on Jan 16. I had a mtg with my boss today to discuss possible changes (ie. working from home when he is traveling, keeping the girl that supports me instead of letting her go and wolfing 5 days per week instead of 6) and basically I left completely disheartened and stressed out. He didn't say no but he also didn't say yes. I've been an emotional mess since getting home at just the thought of only have 3.5wks left with my daughter full time before I jump back into 8hr work days with an additional hour commute. I have to work for multiple reasons so I have no choice. I can't imagine what it's going to be like leaving her and balancing everything. Please, any tips or words of encouragement.... My husband doesn't get it and I feel like all the moms around me work from home or get flex days to be home with their kids so no one really gets it.

LoCarb · December 2013

You may not see it now but one of the perks to working away from home is exactly that-you are away from home and get 'adult' time. This time is actually necessary to make you a better mom. There are tons of other perks too. I love showing my girls I can work, make my own money, learn a skill and help industries with my knowledge. It's empowering.

The adjustment will be rough at first. Try to do as much as possible the evening before. You'll get in the swings.

financialdiva · December 2013

The anticipation of returning to work is worse than actually going back.

I remember my DH looking at me like I was crazy when I would sob uncontrollably about going back to work. He said he didn't even recognize me. None of my friends had traditional jobs either at the time- they either worked PT, or from home or either they or their DH's SAH.

Focus on the positive reasons for working. Make a list of all the pro's - financial stability, adult interaction, eating with two hands, etc. Prep as much as you can the night before. Buy three days worth of bottles and pump parts and run them through the dishwasher.

It gets easier with time. GL. And try to enjoy these last few weeks at home with your LO. The last thing you want is to look back and wish you weren't so stressed out about returning to work that you caused yourself to not enjoy this time with your LO.

Hugs!

shakinros · December 2013

financialdiva said:
The anticipation of returning to work is worse than actually going back.

This is completely true. The actual going to work is not as bad as you imagine it will be. Some days will feel like it, but overall, you will adjust.

Make a list of the things you want to do with your LO before going back to work and start doing them. About a week before, practice your morning routine. We didn't do this and the first few days of work for me were mega stressful with figuring out how to get out the door on time. Your H may need to do way more in the mornings than either of you are thinking.

Manage expectations at work for your first week back. You just cannot hit the ground running the first day back. Be vocal about your plan to get up to speed and then take the week to understand where all your projects and clients are, what's happening with the company, etc. I partially did this. The stuff I caught up on before acting was much more seamless and I looked more professional handling it. The stuff I jumped right into was rife with missteps and made me look like a sleep-deprived new mom.

Hang in there! It will be better than you think!

82Sonia · December 2013

financialdiva said:

The anticipation of returning to work is worse than actually going back.

I know it seems like this is just something people say but it's so true! I cried and cried during the few weeks before I had to go back (and I took 20 weeks off). I wanted to quit, go part time, do anything I could to not go back.

I told myself that I would go back for a month and see how it went. If I made it a month, I'd do another month and so on. After about 2 weeks, I was completely back in the groove and things were fine.

For what it's worth, I work from home one day a week and it's about impossible to get anything done. It seems like a great solution for working moms but in reality, I get up way before the crack of dawn so I can work before baby wakes up.

rubber_chicken · December 2013

I WFH one day a week - my DD still goes to daycare that day. Whenever there's a snow day or a sick day, it is IMPOSSIBLE to get anything done with her at home. It just doesn't work.

The first week is the hardest. Is it possible to go back on a Wednesday instead of a Monday? That first weekend is the best thing ever - may as well get to it sooner

BRooke Christina · December 2013

I go back on 12/30 - I appricate many of these comments - makes me feel better. Do any of you ladies work 4 10's? Are the long days worth an extra day off?

iverske9 · December 2013

Take a deep breath and relax...it will be a transition and becoming a mother is a huge change. Ity sounds like your boss may be open to some things so I would keep an open mind and discuss those. As for making it work, it will take a little time but you will get into a groove.

I like my work so I was happy to go back but did miss my little guy at first. I now know that working makes me an amazing mother. I love working, advancing my career, contributing to the household, and I can have adult time. I also love the time I have home with LO and find I am more happy all around. Just remember kids do not need perfection so don't put to much pressure on yourself.

Congrats and good luck

alyshamarie007 · December 2013

I go back Jan 16th also and have been agonizing over it. Everyone's comments really helped! I do look forward to going back in some ways but feel guilt about being away from LO for so long.

Skalbrecht · December 2013

As pp said, every day it gets a little easier to be back at work. If you pump, I have found its easiest for me to pack my 'bag' the night before so I don't forget anything. Get yourself into a schedule as much as you can at work. I find most days go pretty quickly and it's so awesome to get home and snuggle your LO! You value it even more.

IrishTraveler · December 2013

financialdiva said:

The anticipation of returning to work is worse than actually going back.

So much this.

I dreaded going back to work for a full month before I actually did. But when I went back, it took me about a week to jump in, get reacquainted with my job, and fall back into a routine. The biggest suggestion I have is give yourself lots of grace to make some mistakes the first few days back and to adjust to a new routine. Chances are you're going to have to get up a bit earlier and will get home a bit later if you're using a daycare. But with time, you will adjust.

I do appreciate the time I have at work every day. I love my job, I love my coworkers, and I love lunches with my friends. I miss my baby like crazy every day, but he's happy and healthy at the daycare we chose. They love him, and he's learning a lot from them. (We use a center.) With a second baby on the way, I thought I would want to stay home without a doubt. Daycare alone is going to be a huge expense each month, but I am considering returning to work. I'm kind of thinking that if I'm going to stay home at some point in the future, I think I might rather be home when my kids are older and in school so that I'm available for extracurriculars, snow days, and sick days.

mmille19 · December 2013

Maybe you can ease back into work and take one day off per week the first month. Maybe take a few wednesdays or fridays off so your only going back to 4 days a week instead of 5. That is what im going to try to do.

APendola · December 2013

PrivacyWanted said:

Agreed that the worst is the anticipation. It's so hard from going to having the baby with you constantly to being away consistently. But once you get into a routine things aren't that bad. My other suggestion would be to give it 3 months. If your situation isn't working, approach your boss again. At that point you'll have a better idea of what you really need to make things work.

This is great advice. Give it a few months and see how it works. You might even find that you like being back at work. If it's not working, talk to your boss about the options again. After a few months, you could consider looking at another position. Some workplaces are more flexible and are willing to adapt for their employees rather than force the employees to adapt.

umma4babes · January 2014

I agree with others as well - I was more anxious and depressed the last couple weeks leading up to returning to work. Once I got to work, however, I actually felt very relaxed. I didn't realize how tense I was from being "on call" 24/7 with baby's needs.

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