What is wrong with me?!

LuGal623 · December 2013

Oh wait that's right I'm 38 weeks pregnant and about to have my first baby. I have had some bad insomnia the last week or so through the holidays (like 2 hours of sleep max) and last night was the worst. It figures yesterday was my last vacation day as well before the baby comes and I couldn't get any sleep longer than a few half hour incriments. Then my hormones finally caught up with me, I can count on one hand the number of crying fits I've had this pregnancy. I couldn't stop thinking about how this may be the last few days/nights of just my husband and me and I just started crying in bed. I'm scared of how this baby will change our relationship, how I will change and hopefully not in the less patient/miserable wife/Mom way, and will I really be able to care for a baby?! I couldn't stop flip flopping between scared and worried for our future to how amazing my husband will be as a Dad and how our family will be whole because we have wanted this baby. Why have my emotions/hormones betrayed me now? I'm jealous of everyone's outside babies and so eager to meet my little guy but this just hit me like a ton of bricks. Anyone else have a sudden influx of cold feet?

angiek1 · December 2013

I can totally get where you are coming from. Now I struggle as I can't wait to meet LO, but I'm worried about DD and how she'll adjust. I'll miss our snuggle time and our 1:1 time. I know we'll adjust and still have special moments, but it'll be different. Hang in there; honestly I was worried about the relationship between DH and I and it has only gotten stronger since adding a child to our family. It is an amazing thing to watch your husband grow into a man, a father. GL and only a couple more weeks!!

csandroo · December 2013

Oh yes!!! I am swinging one way to the next by the hour ... From sobbing and shaking so terrified of labor/caring for baby/if SO and I will make it together or if we'll end up a split up family ... To being so excited to meet him, experience life with him, smile and love like I never have before, see him sleep on SO's chest ... I'm terrified of loving and caring for someone so much, but so excited to experience the miracle of having a child and raising a family.

I was getting no sleep and worrying so much and it was taking a toll ... Finally Benadryl gets me a good nights sleep and if worrisome thoughts creep in I try to distract myself because it's just not good for our health at this point to be wigging out and anxious.

I'm so sorry you've had insomnia ... Your fears are totally normal and I'm sure all of us FTM's will adjust to our new normal.

MaryBB77 · December 2013

I was the same as you for most of my pregnancy. I wanted nothing more than to be a mum but was so worried id miss me time & time with DH and how'd we'd cope with a newborn.
Now a week later I've no idea what I was worried about. It all comes naturally and I couldn't b happier now that she's here.
Enjoy your last few weeks. And GL with everything. You'll both b just fine

megs12914 · December 2013

I agree with everyone. Even with bringing Noah home, I was so ready but terrified at the same time. You'll be so sleep deprived you won't even have the energy to worry! Haha.

bluegreeneyes11 · December 2013

mrsschmidz said:

Preach! I could have written this myself. I think it is absolutely normal to have these feelings. Try to relax and remember that noone has all the right answers; one day at a time! Hugs!

This. I feel the same. The closer I get I keep thinking what am I nuts lol. Although seeing my new baby niece/nephew twins yesterday made me melt.

Rebis58 · December 2013

I could have written this post myself! I feel like I have had very minimal hormonal mood swings this pregnancy (my husband agrees - he told me recently he was surprised because his dad and other men in his life had warned him about how hormones affected the women in their lives during pregnancy). I've been slightly more irritable at times, but usually when I am tired or feeling like crap. Recently (like in the past couple of weeks) I have felt so emotional and unbalanced - from giggling uncontrollably to sobbing to feeling so excited to having major anxiety. I've also been having insomnia and I'm sure the lack of sleep is not helping my mood swings.

I'm a FTM and having the same fears as you about how motherhood will change me as a person (hopefully for the better) and how parenthood will change our relationship. I'm also feeling sad/scared about us living so far away from family. We have good friends who I know will be supportive and helpful, but I wish our baby would have grandparents, aunts, uncles, and cousins around.

gina0485 · December 2013

@LuGal623 You are definitely not alone in your feelings. I keep going back and forth from this positive, motivated person who is so determined to get everything done and do it right and who knows she can handle it all versus an insecure version of myself that needs my husband to tell me I still look beautiful, that I'll be a good mom, and that I am not going to mess it all up. I will have points throughout the day where I am just overwhelmed and I start tearing up and I don't even remember what I'm upset or worried about - just the sensation of impending doom. Other times, I am elated. It is downright nerve wracking to have such unpredictable feelings. At the end of the day, when I meditate and breathe and bring myself back to center, I know that I will handle it as best as I can and that it will be good enough. Hugs. The babies will be worth it, I just know they will.

MIT721 · January 2014

I literally started this exact post and deleted it because I was sure everyone would be like DUH. I completely freaked out on the Hubs the other day because I am so terrified and he's just bopping along all excited. And he keeps saying we're gonna be great! And when I voiced my fears for the first time he's like I'm annoyed with you. Cue hysterical tears. As a project manager slight-control freak person the unknown scares the sh!t out of me. Is there anymore unknown than bringing home a teeny tiny person?! So I am with you most of us FTMs are with you. Hang in there! Take deep breaths and just remember this baby chose you. You can do this! We can do this! Wow I'm awfully rah rah today

:x

RedSaffron · January 2014

@LuGal623 Everything you said is exactly how I feel. I can't believe she's finally gonna be here, but I can't imagine it. Living my life the way it has with just me and SO and have a big change and responsibility makes me nervous.

MaryBB77 · January 2014

@MIT721 your post made me chuckle. I had the exact same break down about 2 weeks ago. I wasnt feeling excited and that scared me. But now she's here and I'm just so in love with her. Try not to worry or stress cause it'll all fall into place naturally.
Cue her cries & I'm going in for a long overdue cuddle

GL

MIT721 · January 2014

@MaryBB77 I can't tell you how much better that makes me feel. Enjoy all your cuddles with her! Happy New Year!

bethughknee · January 2014

Totally losing it. H went out with friends to watch the Pinstripe Bowl last weekend and came home piss drunk. I usually don't care about that kind of thing but when he walked in and tried to pretend he WASN'T drunk I got all "WHAT IF I WENT INTO LABOR?! Are you REALLY okay with the fact that I'd have to call the neighbor to drive us?!" and then I cried when he passed out for a few hours because I kept thinking "What if this is our LAST weekend just the two of us and he's now passed out?"

And here we are with the day off today and no sign that we won't also have this weekend and I was a ball of crazy for nothing. I've been hoping for what @megs12914 described. That we'll be so overwhelmed and sleep deprived that we'll just be happy to be surviving it all together. We'll get to how being parents changes us in a few months when we have time to actually look around haha.

last14real · January 2014

Add me to the list of crazy hormonal ladies, I kinda expected it though , bc I went through it the final month with DS as well. It will get better though ladies, I promise. DH and I have been laughing about my mood swings all week bc I get mad, then repentant, then sad, then happy all in about a ten minute period. All I can think of is from the movie knocked up when Seth Rogan says " Fuck you hormones!! Your a crazy bitch hormones, not Allison, hormones!!" Ack I wish I knew how to moble gif!

CK121011 · January 2014

This is a great post and it's comforting to see many of you feel the same. It's like you have spent months anticipating how your life will change when the baby is here and it's been a roller coaster of emotions, from excitement, fear, anxiety, happiness. You get to a point where your like "can we just get this started and have our baby so I can stop worrying about how it might be and it can just be!" I can deal with reality much better then the unknown and I'm sure it's going to be a beautiful fulfilling reality!

tesskerr · January 2014

I was feeling the same way a few days ago. Now all of a sudden I am so tired, and can actually sleep! It's amazing. The extra sleep does really help the crazy emotions, so I really hope you all get a good nights rest soon.

What is wrong with me?!

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