Bedsharer Check-In

wifeofadam · December 2013

Hello, ladies! I was wondering how the sleep situation is going in your homes.

As I type this DD2 is asleep in the Ergo on my back, We're still at the point that she will only nap on me. Nights are going OK. She goes to bed when I do and wakes 3 times through the night to nurse.

I'm thinking that it's time for me to get her into her crib for naps and at least the beginning of the night. I'm just not sure how to do it without doing some type of CIO. Ugh. I'm not looking to get her STTN or anything if she's not ready (we're still working on introducing solids and giving them consistently, so she needs milk through the night), I'm just looking to have my evenings free and without a sleeping baby either on my back or in my arms. I'm ready for some ME time (and I'm sure DH is ready to have me to himself too).

How is it going for the rest of you?

musicalmama5 · December 2013

I was just thinking we needed a bedsharer check-in! Thanks for starting this one!

DS does mostly OK with naps. I nurse him to sleep then lay next to him until he's really asleep and I slip away. Naps are usually on the mattress on his floor. Or in the Ergo or carseat or stroller if we're out and about. He's doing weird things in general with his naps though and I'm not really sure what's going on. Like today he napped for 1.5 hours in the morning and then never took an afternoon nap (not for lack of trying on my part!).

Nights are kind of a mess though. I put him down on his mattress, same as I do for naps, at around 7PM. That gives me a couple hours by myself since DH works til 9:00 or later some nights. I usually go to bed around 10 or 11, and at that point, DS has usually already woken up once or even twice. I just go in, nurse him, then slip away again. Once I'm already in bed though, I bring him into bed with me and he finishes the night in bed with us. And at that point, he's waking up every couple hours. It's been bad the past week or so. Not sure if this is wonder week shenanigans or what, but I'm really hoping it's just a phase and not the new normal! He's also at a point where he'll be dead asleep, but if I roll to my other side (so my back is to him), he wakes up and wants the boob again. Sigh. It's getting tiring.

But I'm not a fan of CIO and am secretly loving that he's so attached to me at night. I just keep reminding myself that he's going to outgrow it soon enough.

Sorry that I have no advice on the nap issue that you're having. How does she react if you lay with her and nurse her to sleep then slip away?

PhieryBFly · December 2013

I wanted to completely co sleep with my DD but it didn't entirely work for me. So her crib is about 18 inches from my bed and I feed her to sleep in my bed between 7 and 8pm then move her to her crib when I go to bed around 10:30. She comes back to bed with me when she wakes to eat around 3:30 and then just stays with me until she's up for the day around 7:30. Naps are sometimes on my lap, sometimes a crib, car seat or her bed. She's pretty good about napping when she needs it. All in all though, I lucked out with a really mellow babe!

jdilorenzo · December 2013

We have the crib next to the bed with the one side off. MJ falls alseep on my lap at night and just sleeps on the couch next to me while I watch tv at night. We have a deep couch and there is an ottoman in front off her so she can't fall off. Plus I am next to her When I go up to bed I take her with me. She sleeps next to me and rolls over onto her crib too. She still wakes two-three times a night to nurse. I am not Into CIO either. So this set up is working for us. Every night is different with how long she sleeps and how many times she wakes up. I love co sleeping. I agree. She will only be little for such a short time. The last 9 months went wayyyy to fast.

SidraJedi · December 2013

I am glad for one of these again too.

DD is still in our bed. It is still cramped. She still needs to nurse to sleep and sometimes has a better time when DH lies down with us

Lately she is latched 75% of the night because she is teething. I know of I tried to get her out of the bed and I to a crib that we would both be worse off. She wants to sleep next to me, I don't want to hear her cry. And DH and I both love her cuddles.

DH and I have actually DTD twice this week and I think I may be back in business a little bit so I'm okay with things the way they are still.

I want her to sleep better so that I can sleep better but I don't want to force it.

tamarar5 · December 2013

We actually aren't bedsharing except for the really early morning hours 6-8ish when he dream feeds. But other than that, he is sleeping in the crib. He sleeps so much better now it was completely worth it to move him out.

Meggiemuggins · December 2013

DH and I take DS to bed with us for some cuddles when it's time for him to sleep (he's a night owl, so it's late, like 11 pm). He cuddles with us, wrestles with pillows and has around 12 oz of formula. Then when he falls asleep he's moved into crib, right next to my side of the bed. He'll wake around 8 am for another bottle or two and then go back to sleep for another three hours. I'm not crazy about his late hours, but we're all getting a good sleep so I'm not going to mess with it. It's working for us and all getting enough rest.

nlp1990 · December 2013

We have been bed sharing since day 1. During the day I lay with him and nurse him until he falls asleep then I slip away and he will sleep 2-3 hours. At night, sometimes it is great and other times its a pain. He fights going to sleep, like wants to crawl and climb all over me, but once he's asleep it's great. I am thinking its time to transition him to the crib for the beginning of the night, so if he wants to crawl and climb he can and be safe. All in all its going well, but the beginning of the nights stink.

eriannc22 · December 2013

Lately DS has not been able to nurse back to sleep in the middle of the night. I have a physically get out of bed and rock him. He is still waking up every two hours. I have to nurse him to sleep then try to sneak away, some nights he wakes up every half hour until I lay with him, which sucks because I barely get time with DH. Same situation for naps. I keep hoping we will power through and arrive at a better place without any effort or training on my part. I think next month I might put his mattress on our floor and try nursing him to sleep on that to begin the transition process.

SidraJedi · December 2013

DC2London said:
Molars and walking have caused a sleep set-back. He is nursing several times each night to fall back to sleep. And he is waking much more frequently, making it virtually impossible for me to slip away during naps or in the evenings. The other problem is that he has started having anaphylactic allergic reactions (he has now had 2) so I'm basically afraid to leave him alone.

Oh no!

MommyAndHerLatte · December 2013

DC2London said:
Molars and walking have caused a sleep set-back. He is nursing several times each night to fall back to sleep. And he is waking much more frequently, making it virtually impossible for me to slip away during naps or in the evenings. The other problem is that he has started having anaphylactic allergic reactions (he has now had 2) so I'm basically afraid to leave him alone.

Whoa, that must have been scary! What was he allergic to? (Also, I accidentally "loved" your post while trying to "quote" it on mobile...sorry!)

843andme · December 2013

Still completely bed sharing here....DD is still nursing 2 to 3 times a night and needs to fall asleep nursing and on me....I really need to get her at least to start sleeping in her crib, but it is soooo much work and things have been hectic around here lately. After a long day it is so much easier just to nurse her to sleep and put her in my bed then stay up and try to get her down in the crib....maybe after the new year

light52 · December 2013

We've tried and tried to get him to his bed but he just wants to be snuggled up to sleep. He only naps on me or the car. We can get him in his crib for about an hour each night but that is it. We would love to have our bed back but he will have none of it. It doesn't help that he has really bad separation anxiety and has been sick or teething the last few weeks.

ilysarahd · December 2013

We just started bed sharing a week ago(probably not the best idea at 10mos.) I couldn't handle falling asleep sitting up on the couch every night anymore. We both are sleeping better plus she's started taking 2 naps a day!! I know I need to put her back in her crib but the girl eats SO much during the night. I'm not sure what to do to break her nursing to sleep association so for now she sleeps with us.

musicalmama5 · December 2013

ilysarahd said:

We just started bed sharing a week ago(probably not the best idea at 10mos.) I couldn't handle falling asleep sitting up on the couch every night anymore. We both are sleeping better plus she's started taking 2 naps a day!! I know I need to put her back in her crib but the girl eats SO much during the night. I'm not sure what to do to break her nursing to sleep association so for now she sleeps with us.

I am thinking "cross that bridge when I get to it" and trying not to preemptively solve problems that I don't have yet. I really start to stress out when I start thinking about all the things I "should" be doing to avoid problems in the future...

a13049 · January 2014

Dd is taking naps by herself abut half the time, and laying on grandpas lap the other half. My ILs say she naps so much better when held, no surprise. So if they don't have a lot to get done she will nap with them.

For is,dd starts the evening around 7 pm in her crib. At 10 I go in and feed her again and lay her back in the crib. For a while she was sleeping in her own crib till 3-4 in the morning, but then Christmas break hit and I started just bring her to bed wih us and she has been nursing a lot through out the day and nights. So bed sharing has been easier on me. I think we might finally might be getting her first tooth! Her walking has improved dramatically too this week. She was taking a few steps and the. On Christmas she just decides to start going 10-15 ft at a time and running and turning and sitting up and down on her own. This seems to be when her sleeping regression started

SidraJedi · January 2014

DDis so attached to me and attached to nursing but I am so not worried about the nurse to sleep association at all. There have been a few ones over the month that she has fallen asleep without nursing.

For instance yesterday I was lying next to her with one breast exposed during her evening nap. She stirred, woke up reached for my nip and twiddled it for about 30 seconds until she fell asleep.

This has never happened before but I thought it was funny and a reminder that she will learn to sooth herself eventually.

musicalmama5 · January 2014

SidraJedi said:
DDis so attached to me and attached to nursing but I am so not worried about the nurse to sleep association at all. There have been a few ones over the month that she has fallen asleep without nursing.

For instance yesterday I was lying next to her with one breast exposed during her evening nap. She stirred, woke up reached for my nip and twiddled it for about 30 seconds until she fell asleep.

This has never happened before but I thought it was funny and a reminder that she will learn to sooth herself eventually.

DS has moments like this too. More and more often at night he'll nurse then unlatch, roll over, and fall asleep. It ebbs and flows, and he relies on me more if he's teething or working on a new skill, but the general trend is that he's learning to self-soothe, at his own pace.

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