PR: Moms of girls please come in

NeneCakies · December 2013

I know using proper body part names is ideal and I'm not afraid of the word vagina and will teach her this but when did you start?

DD is 16 months and we are teaching body parts. She points down there in the bath. I start to say vagina but second guess because that part isn't just the vagina, KWIM? So I collectively say we are washing the tushie/bottom, front and back. That just seems easier at this stage but I know it's also a cop-out. What term are you using?

Just need a reality check please and thank you.

Vagina 4-eva!

ReeseFox · December 2013

We say hooha. My oldest still managed to learn the word vagina, and was never confused.

ETA we use butt, booty, tushy, bottom for the back

BluepointToasted · December 2013

With DS I refer to the entire area as private parts.....if he is specifically manhandling his penis I call it a penis.

scoutkate · December 2013

My kid says vagina (or just gina) for the front and bottom for the back. Those are the words we've always used.

Littledeer84 · December 2013

vagina for front, bottom for back. She recently told her grandma that her vagina hurt, ( pull up was pinching) and of course my mom was appalled that I taught her that word. oh well.

MrsT0514 · December 2013

When DS manhandles his parts, I try to say "penis", as I'd like him to become familiar with the actual name of his parts.

That said, my mom/other family members always referred to a vagina as a "coolie" (well that was vagina/butt both referred to as that) and for my brother she referred to penis as a "peeper" so its hard for me to not fall into the habit of calling it that.

wiggyslilsis · December 2013

@reesefox we also say hooha. I will teach her at some point the correct words but I have no problem with nicknames for the privates...I call mine lady bits or hooha and DH's his junk. We use booty or butt for her butt.

My little brother started calling his penis a carrot all on his own. He eventually figured out it was a penis.

RondackHiker · December 2013

I used penis for DS, and will also use proper terms for a DD.

shopgirl78 · December 2013

This was a topic not long ago among the "old school" parenting. It seems despite learning actual terms (which was gung ho back then too) by 1st-2nd grade, the kids have resorted to nicknames learned at school. There was a girl offended by her DD learning "ball sack." Its where the topic started.

DD knows many terms including vagina (not vulva), bottom, cooter, etc.

The boys know penis and junk. Oh, and balls.

They have never seemed confused.

Helenahhandbasket · December 2013

I always imagined we would say something cutesy like "Kooka", but I read somewhere that it's important to use the correct words as a safeguard because often a pedophile will use a cutesy term for private parts.

So if you only call it a vagina, and your DD starts calling it a "cupcake" or something else that you didn't teach them, you can question your DD where she learned that word.

I don't know how close that is to reality, but it sounded legit and it can't hurt to teach the real words anyway, so that is what we will do.

That being said, my DD isn't quite verbal yet, and hasn't "noticed herself" yet so we haven't really called it anything.

NeneCakies · December 2013

I appreciate the comments from moms of boys too! I don't even remember what my mom called it. It didn't seem a shameful thing, just nonexistent, kinda.

I think adding the "private parts" collective to tushie or bottom will help DH and I be consistent (I know he defaults to code words on this topic). I will also begin saying vagina when it's specifically noticed. I don't hate vulva either.

Helenahhandbasket · December 2013

Estwd2 said:

@helenahhandbasket - It's also because child molesters are less likely to target a child who uses proper terminology. It's evidence that their parents probably talk openly about sex and the body, and is more likely to mean the child has learned about good touch/bad touch.

That makes a lot of sense. It might have been on TB actually that this came up before and I am only remembering part of it.

NeneCakies · December 2013

My response does not necessarily end this thread if there are more pros and cons about nicknaming parts and age appropriateness, etc to discuss.

The article about child predators is alarming. I had heard of that tactic but thanks for the reminder.

Vol4life · December 2013

DD is 21 months and we are mostly saying baby jay jay for her vagina and booty or butt for her backside. She does know where her boobies are. I will teach her proper names when she is a little older.

NeneCakies · December 2013

Oh gawd, boobs. Not ready.

taggiecb · December 2013

I don't understand why people get so wrapped up in whether or not children know the proper terms for their reproductive organs, but it doesn't occur to most people that they are teaching their children "nicknames" for other parts of the body. What's the difference?

Helenahhandbasket · December 2013

laceyjean1 said:

I don't understand why people get so wrapped up in whether or not children know the proper terms for their reproductive organs, but it doesn't occur to most people that they are teaching their children "nicknames" for other parts of the body. What's the difference?

What other body parts have nicknames?

ReeseFox · December 2013

I don't know about other body parts, but how many people ask their toddler if they need to defecate or urinate on the toilet? Or kiss abrasions? We use all kinds of cutesy terminology for things without giving it a second thought.

taggiecb · December 2013

abdomen, navel, buttocks. or even for those who get picky about being specific with certain private parts, did they also teach their kids the difference between thighs and calfs?

RondackHiker · December 2013

laceyjean1 said:
abdomen, navel, buttocks. or even for those who get picky about being specific with certain private parts, did they also teach their kids the difference between thighs and calfs?

Dh taught DS where his liver, kidneys, lungs, heart, etc was, but he's a dork.

I think there's a big difference between a toddler saying "my belly hurts" to a stranger or teacher or babysitter and "my dingaling hurts". Belly most people would get. Random cutesy name? Nope.

taggiecb · December 2013

RondackHiker said:

abdomen, navel, buttocks. or even for those who get picky about being specific with certain private parts, did they also teach their kids the difference between thighs and calfs?
Dh taught DS where his liver, kidneys, lungs, heart, etc was, but he's a dork. I think there's a big difference between a toddler saying "my belly hurts" to a stranger or teacher or babysitter and "my dingaling hurts". Belly most people would get. Random cutesy name? Nope.

I am sure no one in the history of humanity has ever heard of a penis referred to as a dingaling.

ReeseFox · December 2013

I'm not embarassed to say vagina, vulva, penis, etc, etc. Neither is my kid. She has alway known the proper words for things (because I taught them to her) but in everyday conversation, in our house, we use nicknames.

taggiecb · December 2013

And children can pick up on these insecurities? I am skeptical, but if that is your hill to stand on, be my guest.

ReeseFox · December 2013

Luhdashuh said:

ReeseFox said:

I'm not embarassed to say vagina, vulva, penis, etc, etc. Neither is my kid. She has alway known the proper words for things (because I taught them to her) but in everyday conversation, in our house, we use nicknames.

But you did teach your kid the right term, I was referring more to people who never address the proper name for it .

Okay, but that's not what you said. Your initial statement read that people who use cutesy names do so because of shame and embarassment. I'm sure that happens sometimes, but I'd be willing to bet that most people also teach the proper terms.

ReeseFox · December 2013

Inkogneetoh said:

laceyjean1 said:

I don't understand why people get so wrapped up in whether or not children know the proper terms for their reproductive organs, but it doesn't occur to most people that they are teaching their children "nicknames" for other parts of the body. What's the difference?

Read the article I linked or google "Tricky people are the new strangers". Child molesters will come up with nicknames for their victims private parts. Like the article says, when your daughter comes home referring to her vagina has a cupcake (or tutu like a pp said they used) it will set off alarm bells since you didn't teach her the nickname.

But couldn't the same be said if they just start using a different nickname than the one used at home? Not trying to be combative here, just a thought. FTR I've not read the article.

klondikebar · December 2013

My kids have been taught the proper terms. I don't care what terms they actually use. It's not like it comes up in conversation regularly. My boys have picked up all kinds of nicknames over the years. DS2 was all proud this year when he came home from kindergarten with "fire hose" for his penis.

taggiecb · December 2013

ReeseFox said:

Inkogneetoh said:

laceyjean1 said:

I don't understand why people get so wrapped up in whether or not children know the proper terms for their reproductive organs, but it doesn't occur to most people that they are teaching their children "nicknames" for other parts of the body. What's the difference?

Read the article I linked or google "Tricky people are the new strangers". Child molesters will come up with nicknames for their victims private parts. Like the article says, when your daughter comes home referring to her vagina has a cupcake (or tutu like a pp said they used) it will set off alarm bells since you didn't teach her the nickname.

But couldn't the same be said if they just start using a different nickname than the one used at home? Not trying to be combative here, just a thought. FTR I've not read the article.

I was thinking the same thing, but I feel as though I am beating a dead horse.

TiffanyBerry · December 2013

The proper term for the general outer area is vulva. I have taught it to my daughter and she uses it (freely). It takes some getting used to, but it shouldn't be a whole lot different than saying nostril.

CurlyQ284 · December 2013

My SDs call it a HooHa. I dont know if they made it up or got it from their mom. When i gice DS a bath, I tell him its time to wash his diaper spots (which encompasses...well...the diaper spots). I use different words interchangeably but penis is in the mix. He's 1 and I never really thought about this being an issue.

colliebabe · December 2013

laceyjean1 said:

RondackHiker said:

laceyjean1 said:
abdomen, navel, buttocks. or even for those who get picky about being specific with certain private parts, did they also teach their kids the difference between thighs and calfs?
Dh taught DS where his liver, kidneys, lungs, heart, etc was, but he's a dork.

I think there's a big difference between a toddler saying "my belly hurts" to a stranger or teacher or babysitter and "my dingaling hurts". Belly most people would get. Random cutesy name? Nope.

I am sure no one in the history of humanity has ever heard of a penis referred to as a dingaling.

Now this is stuck in my head:

"My chain hang down to my dingaling." - 2 Chainz

I say vagina but have no problem teaching/saying the proper names. I'm a health teacher so I use the proper terminology all the time (well, during the sexuality unit anyway.)

NeneCakies · December 2013

P.S. My dinglehopper hurts

wiggyslilsis · December 2013

@reesefox has said everything that I have thought reading through this. We use nicknames but not because we are ashamedof the real names. She will llearn the proper names and body parts eventually but in everyday talk we use the nicknames.

MrsT0514 · December 2013

My MIL and GMIL refer to boys' penises as whackers.

DogfishHead · December 2013

She calls her vagina 'vagina'. Her butt is "heinie". Sometimes she likes to ryhme them and she will say "ginie and heinie" over and over.

But, yeah, I never understood not teaching kids to use the actual names for body parts.

To answer the second part of your question, I have used the proper names for body parts since she was born. She started using them early. She is now 2.5 and is quite proud of her heinie and vagina since she is potty training.

wino2006 · December 2013

We say vagina, butt or vulva. I am a nurse. I know no other way.

wino2006 · December 2013

laceyjean1 said:

I don't understand why people get so wrapped up in whether or not children know the proper terms for their reproductive organs, but it doesn't occur to most people that they are teaching their children "nicknames" for other parts of the body. What's the difference?

I read somewhere that one reason to use the correct terms is because if they are being abused and start referring to their privates with cutsie nicknames, it's a cue that there may be abuse going on.

TiffanyBerry · December 2013

There's a really good reason I chose to use the less common, though anatomically accurate, word "vulva" over "vagina". Because it's correct. I don't mean that in a snooty sense, I mean that in a "when you're 20, and you go to the doctor for pain that occurs 'down there', you need to be able to accurately describe and understand what is going on" sense. After living with vulvar vestibulitis for years, I'm going to teach her the proper words so that she can communicate what she needs to when she needs to.

DogfishHead · December 2013

wino2006 said:

laceyjean1 said:

I don't understand why people get so wrapped up in whether or not children know the proper terms for their reproductive organs, but it doesn't occur to most people that they are teaching their children "nicknames" for other parts of the body. What's the difference?

I read somewhere that one reason to use the correct terms is because if they are being abused and start referring to their privates with cutsie nicknames, it's a cue that there may be abuse going on.

I agree. Also, as adults we generally use the terms "belly button" instead of navel, we say "butt" instead of anus, we say stomach or tummy instead of abdomen.

I don't know any adults that say "cupcake" instead of vagina, or "winkie" instead of penis.

Monkeybabe · December 2013

We use vagina for now. She calls it her "gina".

LadyXaverian · December 2013

She uses the word booty for both front and back, but I will teach her more proper words soon.

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