After mc question

Giants721 · December 2013

Hi ladies,

I'm not trying to jump the gun here, but I have a question that is lingering. We had our first miscarriage in October. Do I start counting a year from that date to see an RE if nothing happens, or do I still count from when we started trying (April)?

I'm just down today, not looking for something to be wrong. I'm just so sad today. Thanks.

LM915 · December 2013

I'm sorry you are feeling so down today

I'm not sure about your question, I have actually wondered the same thing myself. ((hugs))

BethKate2 · December 2013

I was told that my "clock" restarted when I got pregnant. It took me 11 cycles to get pregnant, but my doctor said I would have to wait another year before having any testing done so that they could bill it to my insurance. He said I could have an HSG done earlier if I wanted, but we'd have to pay OOP.

From reading on here, though, it seems like different people have been told different things.

Lily9911 · December 2013

@Giants721

Sorry for your loss. I honestly would see a RE in April if nothing happens by then. I don't really think it's a restart of the year because technically, you got pregnant.

It's very common to have a MC in the first trimester, especially in the weeks yours occurred, mine was at 9 weeks.

At least you had a natural MC, it's usually an easier healing time than having a D & C. Have you guys started trying again since after the MC?

LM915 · December 2013

BethKate2 said:

I was told that my "clock" restarted when I got pregnant. It took me 11 cycles to get pregnant, but my doctor said I would have to wait another year before having any testing done so that they could bill it to my insurance. He said I could have an HSG done earlier if I wanted, but we'd have to pay OOP.
From reading on here, though, it seems like different people have been told different things.

I hadn't even thought about it from an insurance standpoint, but you make a really good point.

Giants721 · December 2013

Lily9911 said:

@Giants721

Sorry for your loss. I honestly would see a RE in April if nothing happens by then. I don't really think it's a restart of the year because technically, you got pregnant.

It's very common to have a MC in the first trimester, especially in the weeks yours occurred, mine was at 9 weeks.

At least you had a natural MC, it's usually an easier healing time than having a D & C. Have you guys started trying again since after the MC?

Yes, we tried in November and December.

Giants721 · December 2013

I go in January for my yearly, I'll ask him then. If nothing happens by April, I hope I don't have to wait until October for insurance purposes. Thanks ladies!

Lily9911 · December 2013

Giants721 said:

Lily9911 said:

@Giants721

Sorry for your loss. I honestly would see a RE in April if nothing happens by then. I don't really think it's a restart of the year because technically, you got pregnant.

It's very common to have a MC in the first trimester, especially in the weeks yours occurred, mine was at 9 weeks.

At least you had a natural MC, it's usually an easier healing time than having a D & C. Have you guys started trying again since after the MC?

Yes, we tried in November and December.

So your doctor gave you guys the ok to start that early? Did you have an u/s to make sure everything is healed up and good to go?

I'm asking only because after my D & C, I had a post op 2 weeks later and the doc saw that I had completely healed (everyone is different). He wanted us to wait 2 cycles before trying again, unless my first AF was normal.

Well, the D&C was 11/21 and I actually ovulated during the time of my regular ovulation in December. A week ago I had a normal AF, so I contacted the doctor and told him all that info and he said "You guys are good to go now".

If your body isn't bad to normal yet, it might take some time. My doc told me to get into different activities to get my mind off of trying to be pregnant right away because stress and worry can prevent you from becoming pregnant again.

I took up pilates to keep my mind at ease.

BethKate2 · December 2013

Lily9911 said:
So your doctor gave you guys the ok to start that early? Did you have an u/s to make sure everything is healed up and good to go?
I'm asking only because after my D & C, I had a post op 2 weeks later and the doc saw that I had completely healed (everyone is different). He wanted us to wait 2 cycles before trying again, unless my first AF was normal.

Well, the D&C was 11/21 and I actually ovulated during the time of my regular ovulation in December. A week ago I had a normal AF, so I contacted the doctor and told him all that info and he said "You guys are good to go now".

If your body isn't bad to normal yet, it might take some time. My doc told me to get into different activities to get my mind off of trying to be pregnant right away because stress and worry can prevent you from becoming pregnant again.

I took up pilates to keep my mind at ease.

@Lily9911, I can't believe a doctor said the bolded to you. Worrying isn't going to prevent you from getting pregnant. That's as bad as the typical, "Relax and it will happen," nonsense.

dajhughes · December 2013

Lily9911 said:
So your doctor gave you guys the ok to start that early? Did you have an u/s to make sure everything is healed up and good to go?
I'm asking only because after my D & C, I had a post op 2 weeks later and the doc saw that I had completely healed (everyone is different). He wanted us to wait 2 cycles before trying again, unless my first AF was normal.

Well, the D&C was 11/21 and I actually ovulated during the time of my regular ovulation in December. A week ago I had a normal AF, so I contacted the doctor and told him all that info and he said "You guys are good to go now".

If your body isn't bad to normal yet, it might take some time. My doc told me to get into different activities to get my mind off of trying to be pregnant right away because stress and worry can prevent you from becoming pregnant again.

I took up pilates to keep my mind at ease.

@Lily9911, I can't believe a doctor said the bolded to you. Worrying isn't going to prevent you from getting pregnant. That's as bad as the typical, "Relax and it will happen," nonsense.

Agreed! I would have wanted to punch my dr in the face if he said that. Like "Really? Oh has that been my problem for 16 years??? Wow, Why didn't anyone tell me to just relax already?!"

To OP's original question, it depends on your age as well. If you're AMA you could go after 6 months of trying. I am a full on advocate of seeing an RE as soon as possible. They make a world of difference since an RE's main focus is to help you get pregnant. An OBGYN just doesn't have the same emphasis, or specialized training. Good luck to you.

Lily9911 · December 2013

BethKate2 said:

Lily9911 said:
So your doctor gave you guys the ok to start that early? Did you have an u/s to make sure everything is healed up and good to go?
I'm asking only because after my D & C, I had a post op 2 weeks later and the doc saw that I had completely healed (everyone is different). He wanted us to wait 2 cycles before trying again, unless my first AF was normal.

Well, the D&C was 11/21 and I actually ovulated during the time of my regular ovulation in December. A week ago I had a normal AF, so I contacted the doctor and told him all that info and he said "You guys are good to go now".

If your body isn't bad to normal yet, it might take some time. My doc told me to get into different activities to get my mind off of trying to be pregnant right away because stress and worry can prevent you from becoming pregnant again.

I took up pilates to keep my mind at ease.

@Lily9911, I can't believe a doctor said the bolded to you. Worrying isn't going to prevent you from getting pregnant. That's as bad as the typical, "Relax and it will happen," nonsense.

I think it was more in a way that meant if you have anxiety over the situation then you can prevent things from happening. (The doctor did not phrase it in the way I had jsut put it)

I have had anxiety in the early stages of TTC a year ago, and I stressed about not being pregnant all the time.

Of course it's hard to hear someone to say "when you relax it's going to happen" especially when that person has 3 kids already and has had no issues. But when I "stopped trying" it did happen. (I can explain at another time what I mean by I "stopped trying")

Was it just a fluke? Maybe... Was it because I didn't obsess about it? Maybe. The body is weird and unfortunately we can't explain why things happen.

And for the record, I said that phrase on another board and as completely flamed for it. I don't mean any offense by it, but the board I had mentioned it on I didn't realize was mostly filled with woman who have never been pregnant and majority of them can never become pregnant. Naturally, I felt awful.

Lily9911 · December 2013

I obviously don't think that someone who has been trying for 16 years is to "just relax".

I was asking the OP if she went through the proper measures to even be trying again. Maybe she wants to be pregnant again right way, like most of us do. Anxiety can screw up your cycle, it did it with me.

Giants721 · December 2013

@lily9911 the doctor gave us the go ahead after my first period. I got my first period at the end of October beginning of November. I had a f/u u/s a week after I miscarried. Everything was clear and he said my ute looked healthy to carry a baby.

Lily9911 · December 2013

Giants721 said:

@lily9911 the doctor gave us the go ahead after my first period. I got my first period at the end of October beginning of November. I had a f/u u/s a week after I miscarried. Everything was clear and he said my ute looked healthy to carry a baby.

That's great! I really hope everything works out for you.

Giants721 · December 2013

We waited the one cycle like our doctor said to.

buggirl72 · December 2013

OP, from what I have heard, the clock resets when you get pg. It can take a normal, healthy couple 12 months to conceive. You conceived in six. When I had my first loss, I was told I would have to wait 6 months for any testing (AMA) even though I already had an IF diagnosis and it took me over 10 years to get pg.

Check with your OB in January to find out what their policy is and what your insurance will and will not cover.

Are you charting and using OPKs?

BethKate2 · December 2013

Lily9911 said:
I think it was more in a way that meant if you have anxiety over the situation then you can prevent things from happening. (The doctor did not phrase it in the way I had jsut put it)
I have had anxiety in the early stages of TTC a year ago, and I stressed about not being pregnant all the time.

Of course it's hard to hear someone to say "when you relax it's going to happen" especially when that person has 3 kids already and has had no issues. But when I "stopped trying" it did happen. (I can explain at another time what I mean by I "stopped trying")

Was it just a fluke? Maybe... Was it because I didn't obsess about it? Maybe. The body is weird and unfortunately we can't explain why things happen.

And for the record, I said that phrase on another board and as completely flamed for it. I don't mean any offense by it, but the board I had mentioned it on I didn't realize was mostly filled with woman who have never been pregnant and majority of them can never become pregnant. Naturally, I felt awful.

@Lily9911

1. No, you can't prevent things from happening. You really think that worrying can prevent the sperm from fertilizing the egg? Illness, diet, etc. can delay or prevent ovulation at times, but having anxiety isn't going "prevent things from happening."

2. That shit doesn't fly on any board on TB. Yes, it's true that on TTGP, there are many women who have never been pregnant, but it doesn't go over any better on this board. I've been TTC for just about 18 months and there are ladies here who have been at it a lot longer than I have. Don't tell me that if I relax, it'll happen. It's insulting.

Lily9911 · December 2013

BethKate2 said:

Lily9911 said:
I think it was more in a way that meant if you have anxiety over the situation then you can prevent things from happening. (The doctor did not phrase it in the way I had jsut put it)
I have had anxiety in the early stages of TTC a year ago, and I stressed about not being pregnant all the time.

Of course it's hard to hear someone to say "when you relax it's going to happen" especially when that person has 3 kids already and has had no issues. But when I "stopped trying" it did happen. (I can explain at another time what I mean by I "stopped trying")

Was it just a fluke? Maybe... Was it because I didn't obsess about it? Maybe. The body is weird and unfortunately we can't explain why things happen.

And for the record, I said that phrase on another board and as completely flamed for it. I don't mean any offense by it, but the board I had mentioned it on I didn't realize was mostly filled with woman who have never been pregnant and majority of them can never become pregnant. Naturally, I felt awful.

1. No, you can't prevent things from happening. You really think that worrying can prevent the sperm from fertilizing the egg? Illness, diet, etc. can delay or prevent ovulation at times, but having anxiety isn't going "prevent things from happening."
2. That shit doesn't fly on any board on TB. Yes, it's true that on TTGP, there are many women who have never been pregnant, but it doesn't go over any better on this board. I've been TTC for just about 18 months and there are ladies here who have been at it a lot longer than I have. Don't tell me that if I relax, it'll happen. It's insulting.

I completely agree with you. But worrying and anxiety can prevent you from being in the mood and missing your window. Which happened to me last year for 3 months. I was depressed over a personal issue and I kept missing my window.

Again, and this is the last time I'll state this, I did not mean any offense to that statement and I apologize.

BethKate2 · December 2013

Lily9911 said:
I completely agree with you. But worrying and anxiety can prevent you from being in the mood and missing your window. Which happened to me last year for 3 months. I was depressed over a personal issue and I kept missing my window.
Again, and this is the last time I'll state this, I did not mean any offense to that statement and I apologize.

That is completely different than what you were implying. You were depressed over a personal issue and didn't want sex. Obviously, you're not going to get pregnant if you're not having sex. It has nothing to do with relaxing.

Maybe you didn't mean any offense, but if you got flamed for it the first time, you should've realized it was offensive. I really hope this is the last time you mention it because it's not the way to make friends around here.

PinkCamino · December 2013

wickedsugar said:

Lily9911 said:

BethKate2 said:

Lily9911 said:
I think it was more in a way that meant if you have anxiety over the situation then you can prevent things from happening. (The doctor did not phrase it in the way I had jsut put it)
I have had anxiety in the early stages of TTC a year ago, and I stressed about not being pregnant all the time.

Of course it's hard to hear someone to say "when you relax it's going to happen" especially when that person has 3 kids already and has had no issues. But when I "stopped trying" it did happen. (I can explain at another time what I mean by I "stopped trying")

Was it just a fluke? Maybe... Was it because I didn't obsess about it? Maybe. The body is weird and unfortunately we can't explain why things happen.

And for the record, I said that phrase on another board and as completely flamed for it. I don't mean any offense by it, but the board I had mentioned it on I didn't realize was mostly filled with woman who have never been pregnant and majority of them can never become pregnant. Naturally, I felt awful.

1. No, you can't prevent things from happening. You really think that worrying can prevent the sperm from fertilizing the egg? Illness, diet, etc. can delay or prevent ovulation at times, but having anxiety isn't going "prevent things from happening."
2. That shit doesn't fly on any board on TB. Yes, it's true that on TTGP, there are many women who have never been pregnant, but it doesn't go over any better on this board. I've been TTC for just about 18 months and there are ladies here who have been at it a lot longer than I have. Don't tell me that if I relax, it'll happen. It's insulting.

I completely agree with you. But worrying and anxiety can prevent you from being in the mood and missing your window. Which happened to me last year for 3 months. I was depressed over a personal issue and I kept missing my window.

Again, and this is the last time I'll state this, I did not mean any offense to that statement and I apologize.

:::Head Desk:::

Just stop Lily ! And if you are that depressed, then you need to seek help & shouldn't be concerned with TTCing.

This.

If you're dealing with anxiety and/or depression I would highly suggest you focus on healing yourself before TTC. Getting KU is not the answer. You want to be in the best emotional and physical state before trying to TTCAL - this is uncharted scary effing territory.

Lily9911 · December 2013

PinkCamino said:

wickedsugar said:

Lily9911 said:

BethKate2 said:

Lily9911 said:
I think it was more in a way that meant if you have anxiety over the situation then you can prevent things from happening. (The doctor did not phrase it in the way I had jsut put it)
I have had anxiety in the early stages of TTC a year ago, and I stressed about not being pregnant all the time.

Of course it's hard to hear someone to say "when you relax it's going to happen" especially when that person has 3 kids already and has had no issues. But when I "stopped trying" it did happen. (I can explain at another time what I mean by I "stopped trying")

Was it just a fluke? Maybe... Was it because I didn't obsess about it? Maybe. The body is weird and unfortunately we can't explain why things happen.

And for the record, I said that phrase on another board and as completely flamed for it. I don't mean any offense by it, but the board I had mentioned it on I didn't realize was mostly filled with woman who have never been pregnant and majority of them can never become pregnant. Naturally, I felt awful.

1. No, you can't prevent things from happening. You really think that worrying can prevent the sperm from fertilizing the egg? Illness, diet, etc. can delay or prevent ovulation at times, but having anxiety isn't going "prevent things from happening."
2. That shit doesn't fly on any board on TB. Yes, it's true that on TTGP, there are many women who have never been pregnant, but it doesn't go over any better on this board. I've been TTC for just about 18 months and there are ladies here who have been at it a lot longer than I have. Don't tell me that if I relax, it'll happen. It's insulting.

I completely agree with you. But worrying and anxiety can prevent you from being in the mood and missing your window. Which happened to me last year for 3 months. I was depressed over a personal issue and I kept missing my window.

Again, and this is the last time I'll state this, I did not mean any offense to that statement and I apologize.

:::Head Desk:::

Just stop Lily ! And if you are that depressed, then you need to seek help & shouldn't be concerned with TTCing.

This.

If you're dealing with anxiety and/or depression I would highly suggest you focus on healing yourself before TTC. Getting KU is not the answer. You want to be in the best emotional and physical state before trying to TTCAL - this is uncharted scary effing territory.

I was dealing with it last year. It's all good now. I've heard the horror stories of TTC and depression. Awful.

PinkCamino · December 2013

Lily9911 said:

PinkCamino said:

wickedsugar said:

Lily9911 said:

BethKate2 said:

Lily9911 said:
I think it was more in a way that meant if you have anxiety over the situation then you can prevent things from happening. (The doctor did not phrase it in the way I had jsut put it)
I have had anxiety in the early stages of TTC a year ago, and I stressed about not being pregnant all the time.

Of course it's hard to hear someone to say "when you relax it's going to happen" especially when that person has 3 kids already and has had no issues. But when I "stopped trying" it did happen. (I can explain at another time what I mean by I "stopped trying")

Was it just a fluke? Maybe... Was it because I didn't obsess about it? Maybe. The body is weird and unfortunately we can't explain why things happen.

And for the record, I said that phrase on another board and as completely flamed for it. I don't mean any offense by it, but the board I had mentioned it on I didn't realize was mostly filled with woman who have never been pregnant and majority of them can never become pregnant. Naturally, I felt awful.

1. No, you can't prevent things from happening. You really think that worrying can prevent the sperm from fertilizing the egg? Illness, diet, etc. can delay or prevent ovulation at times, but having anxiety isn't going "prevent things from happening."
2. That shit doesn't fly on any board on TB. Yes, it's true that on TTGP, there are many women who have never been pregnant, but it doesn't go over any better on this board. I've been TTC for just about 18 months and there are ladies here who have been at it a lot longer than I have. Don't tell me that if I relax, it'll happen. It's insulting.

I completely agree with you. But worrying and anxiety can prevent you from being in the mood and missing your window. Which happened to me last year for 3 months. I was depressed over a personal issue and I kept missing my window.

Again, and this is the last time I'll state this, I did not mean any offense to that statement and I apologize.

:::Head Desk:::

Just stop Lily ! And if you are that depressed, then you need to seek help & shouldn't be concerned with TTCing.

This.

If you're dealing with anxiety and/or depression I would highly suggest you focus on healing yourself before TTC. Getting KU is not the answer. You want to be in the best emotional and physical state before trying to TTCAL - this is uncharted scary effing territory.

I was dealing with it last year. It's all good now. I've heard the horror stories of TTC and depression. Awful.

glad to hear you got it all figured out.

Giants721 · December 2013

@buggirl72 I chart and use OPKs.
Thank you everyone.

I understand it can take a healthy couple one year to conceive. I just had a bad morning and this question has been on my mind for quite some time. I'm starting to feel a little better. Going to pamper myself a little with a manicure.

Happy New Year!

buggirl72 · December 2013

Giants721 said:

@buggirl72 I chart and use OPKs.
Thank you everyone.

I understand it can take a healthy couple one year to conceive. I just had a bad morning and this question has been on my mind for quite some time. I'm starting to feel a little better. Going to pamper myself a little with a manicure.

Happy New Year!

A manicure sounds great! You can try bringing your charts to your appointment to show that you have been timing intercourse. Some OB are interested in them and others don't care.

Danielle0311 · December 2013

I'm glad you posted this because I was wondering about it myself. I am sorry you are feeling so sad, some days are just harder then others ((hugs))

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