Arguing with husband

amandalt823 · December 2013

I feel like my husband and I are constantly arguing. It can be over the smallest thing and then turn into a huge argument. It's so frustrating because I know it's just from stress. We got into an argument this morning and it's just lingering and making my day miserable. I wish we can find a balance that would make us both happy. This is supposed to be one of the happiest times in our lives and we want to ring each others throat.

Sorry to vent, I just need to get it out somewhere.

Is anyone else going (or have in the past) through this?

Jenly117 · December 2013

This is us too. Every other day we are going for the jugular! I don't have any advice, but you're definitely not alone.

sunshine2929 · December 2013

I completely understand. We bought our first home right before LO arrived and with me on maternity leave took a huge pay cut. More bills, less money. That combined with stress of being new parents- lots of bickering. Oh and forgot to mention my parents and my sister are living with us for a while... we took them in because they were struggling as a temporary arrangement until they get back on their feet- that was over a year ago and the lack of privacy is starting to get to us. I miss our relationship how it used to be And only hope that we can have our house back to ourselves soon.
I love my family, don't get me wrong, but my new family, the three of us, need to be just us in our new home. And its also hard living with them after 6 years of not.

kimberlymacrae · December 2013

We are going through this exact same thing so no worries! He will "call me out" on the littlest things I do but the moment I mention to him something that I don't want to do or don't like that he's doing he goes into this long schpeal about how I am so irritable.

For example I am not super proud of my PP body yet so I get dressed sorta kinda fast because, well for no reason of being embarassed (I know I know, but I am). Well the other morning I was running late and couldn't wait for him to leave the room so I quickly began to change and he say "hun, you look really great.." which I know is a compliment but I just didn't want any additional attention being brought to me and... well I told him that. Then he starts in on how he was just complimenting me, but I defend my reaction again, blah blah blah you get where it's going.

Point of my story is I think what you're going through is 100% normal. Deep down inside he still makes you happy so I don't think you need to find a "balance", you just need to wait it out through this little storm.

Sometimes when I have the mental strength to do so I do a complete 360 and will go out of my way to do something really nice for DH (cook a special meal, rub his feet, etc.) in just an attempt to reverse the pit cycle, could you start by trying that?

michelle7482 · December 2013

Definitely normal. I tend to snap or make bitchy comments a lot at DH and it's because I'm home with a toddler and baby all day, sleep deprived, and stuck in the house bc it's so cold here. We went through a phase like this after DD1 was born and it passed once she got easier and started sleeping. Raising babies and children is HARD.

Tally879 · December 2013

We went through this pretty hard when he was first born. We both made a commitment to bite our tongue when we wanted to yell at the other for something trivial and it helped us get out of our bickering. I'm all for communication, but when I'm hormonal there's no communicating with me and I'm fully aware of that.

mkb5g5 · December 2013

DH and I have argued a lot more also, especially those first couple weeks after DS was born. Its mainly about him STILL wanting to go out every weekend or not wanting to accept a better job because he'd lose his weekends off. A couple times its gotten bad enough we've talked about trying out separation. I think it gets better a little every day.

llybeck · December 2013

I agree with @CurlingRocks. There are a lot of times where I will get overly upset and let loose on my fiance but it will be over something that really needs to be resolved. Do I go about fixing it in the right way? No, not at all, but at the end of the fight we have some sort of plan to avoid the issue going forward. This is not the way we used to handle things but like everyone said, things are completely different. I think it's going to take a little more than a few months to adjust to life with LO.

We love each other dearly so even though we've really had some doozies lately, deep down we know we'll work it out. It's legitimately difficult to figure out how to live and function as a couple like we used to before LO. But at the same time, I feel more connected to my fiance than I ever have before. Everything else will get better with time, I'm sure of it.

amandalt823 · December 2013

Thanks ladies for your words and letting me know it's not just me. I know that it will get better in time and we are still adjusting to our new life. We love each other very much and absolutely adore our son, we just need to remember that instead of picking at each other.

Habs2Hart · December 2013

H and I are in counseling and it has helped a lot. We are also reading 12 hours to a great marriage and it had excellent advice about arguments.

313Meg · December 2013

Dh tells me I'm so demeaning and short with him lately. I think it's a full circle... I try to tell myself that we are tired, overwhelmed and evaluate "is it worth the argument".

It's helped. And when we do fight, we make a point to go cool down and then talk about it.

Arguing with husband

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