When to schedule paternity leave

Zriseon3 · December 2013

My husband has to schedule his paternity leave this week and I have no idea when to tell him to take it. This is my first child and I don't want him to schedule too early and miss it or schedule too late and have to take his limited sick days to be at the hospital. We are so blessed to get this leave that I don't want to waste it. I was thinking he should schedule it for a week or so after my due date since he gets two weeks. Since my due date is a Friday (2/21) and he's off on weekends I was going to tell him to tell him to schedule it for a week from the following Monday (3/3). I'd rather it be late than early. Any one have suggestions?

MamaAllison · December 2013

It seems weird to me that you have to schedule it! You can't possibly be expected to know when the baby is going to come. Will he take a sick day whenever you are at the hospital? Because my first was 10 days early so your baby would be almost a month old by the time your husband was taking off!

dunvilles · December 2013

MamaAllison said:
It seems weird to me that you have to schedule it! You can't possibly be expected to know when the baby is going to come. Will he take a sick day whenever you are at the hospital? Because my first was 10 days early so your baby would be almost a month old by the time your husband was taking off!

This exactly... MH has 2 weeks off and will take 1 full week off after ds is born and then take 2 weeks of 1/2 days.

slwprincess · December 2013

MamaAllison said:

It seems weird to me that you have to schedule it! You can't possibly be expected to know when the baby is going to come. Will he take a sick day whenever you are at the hospital? Because my first was 10 days early so your baby would be almost a month old by the time your husband was taking off!

Yeah, maybe have him ask if this is something he can schedule but then if baby comes early/late they may let him adjust as needed?

dunvilles · December 2013

Why does he have to schedule his leave in advance? Would they allow him to move it up if u had the baby earlier?

Zriseon3 · December 2013

I asked the same thing. I thought it was crazy to schedule it but they said that's how it's done. His boss's wife had scheduled c-sections apparently. I thought he had to schedule it because he actually has to take his vacation instead of paternity leave since the latter doesn't kick in until April (after he's there for 6 months) and then after that he can use his paternity leave in place of his vacation. But apparently even if he had actual paternity leave it still has to scheduled 2 months in advance. My mom suggested to go later and then he can potentially try to move it up if she comes earlier.

dunvilles · December 2013

That really stinks

I agree with your thought of scheduling it the week after lo is due...

mab18 · December 2013

My work had me say "on or around 2/5/14" on my maternity leave request. Maybe you can do something like that. ???

If not, I would go late, too.

Dexter&11 · December 2013

Never heard if having to schedule in advance - it's not like LO pays any attention to a schedule!!! We're working on the fact I'll be induced at 38/39 weeks, so when we get the definite date from the OB the other half will schedule 2-3 days holiday. I expect to be kept in hospital for a few days while blood sugars stabilise again after birth and I'd rather his paternity leave was used when I get released from the hospital

Zriseon3 · December 2013

He's talking to the head of his HR department who is a woman and hopefully understands more than his boss does that babies don't come on a schedule lol. His actual paternity leave kicks in the first of April and he's trying to see if they can cut him some slack since its barely more than a month's difference. Because while the paternity leave is scheduled its more flexible than simply taking PTO like his boss told him to. Crossing my fingers!

slwprincess · December 2013

Yeah, I mean, if he really has to do it then, I'd go for the week after your due date. But I was also going to suggest the "on or around Feb. ____" idea too. I have to "officially" notify my management that I will be taking 6 mos this time so that's how I phrased it. Luckily they are pretty relaxed about it.

Zriseon3 · December 2013

Well HR said "too bad". So no go. They told him when he was hired he'd have the paternity leave but I guess this is what they meant. I wish sometimes he didn't leave his last job for this one. Better pay but way stricter. He had 3 weeks leave at the last place. But I guess that's the problem with working for big corporation rather than an Internet startup. Maybe he should go work for The Bump. I bet they have good paternity leave... Oh well. We will make the best of it and be glad for what we have.

slwprincess · December 2013

Zriseon3 said:

Well HR said "too bad". So no go. They told him when he was hired he'd have the paternity leave but I guess this is what they meant. I wish sometimes he didn't leave his last job for this one. Better pay but way stricter. He had 3 weeks leave at the last place. But I guess that's the problem with working for big corporation rather than an Internet startup. Maybe he should go work for The Bump. I bet they have good paternity leave... Oh well. We will make the best of it and be glad for what we have.

Oh no! I'm sorry! My DH changed jobs last year too and I'm not entirely pleased with the new company either. More money but I think we gave up some major benefits (he used to work for an airline- so we flew for free!) and I'm not sure it balances out :-/ He's happier at the new place so I guess that's the important thing. Anyway, maybe his direct boss with be able to work with him some? That's what we have found- technically he's not entitled to any leave but they are willing to let him work from home or alternate schedule for a week or two as needed.

slwprincess · December 2013

Zriseon3 said:

He's talking to the head of his HR department who is a woman and hopefully understands more than his boss does that babies don't come on a schedule lol. His actual paternity leave kicks in the first of April and he's trying to see if they can cut him some slack since its barely more than a month's difference. Because while the paternity leave is scheduled its more flexible than simply taking PTO like his boss told him to. Crossing my fingers!

Sorry- just saw this. So he will have paternity leave in April? That's something at least! I know having him home the first few weeks is important but honestly, April could be really helpful too. That's usually when my babies sleep schedule gets CRAZY and having him at home during that time may be a real sanity saver for YOU.

Zriseon3 · December 2013

Well now he just got a message back from HR saying he's not eligible for ANY paternity leave. Not what they told him when he was hired and that was a big deciding point for us when it came to switching jobs. So now I just hope I have the baby midweek so he can take some sick days and then be there over the weekend when we come home. I know he's really upset. He said he's actually crying at his desk. He was really looking forward to the bonding time. He is a web designer and I'm hoping they might let him work from home a few days as well. I was looking forward to the help. My mom who watches my nephews during the day said that my brother will put them in daycare that week so she can help me out while I'm healing. Things will work out. I just know how much he was looking forward to the time off with the baby.

Zriseon3 · January 2014

Yea he hasn't been there long enough. However when he was negotiating his contract he asked if he had paternity leave come February. They said yes knowing we were already expecting. He would have negotiated it in otherwise. So he was pretty upset.

Giraffealaff · January 2014

That's really lame, hun, I'm sorry he works for jerk faces. H isn't taking time off until the baby is here at which point he will be throwing up deuces and staying home for a week (using sick time).

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