XP from IF; Looking for support

Irishlove16 · December 2013

Hi ladies, I don't know if any of you remember me trying to join the IFV board a few months ago but unfortunately I was in midst of a cycle. It was not successful. Shortly after migrating over to the PAIF board, we lost our LO at 6 weeks. This is our second miscarriage in a row. I'm heartbroken and confused. Those of you who don't know me (but a lot of you probably do since Ive been on TB for awhile now), I have had one fresh IVF cycle that lead to BFN, and 2 FET that have lead to a pregnancy but lost both at 6 and 7 weeks. My first miscarriage I had to have a D&C and then a polyp removal. It took 3 months for my beta to reach negative before I can start another cycle. This time I miscarried naturally and now I just need to wait out my beta to drop to negative before we can move forward. My doctor believes it is definitely something wrong with the embryos but wants to do the RML panel first to see if they can find something wrong with me carrying the pregnancy. If nothing is found then my doctor is recommending we do another fresh IVF cycle to get more embryos since I only have 3 left to do genetic testing on. I can't believe I may be doing another whole cycle and starting over again. I started with 9 embryos and have lost 5 on this rough journey. I haven't wrapped my head around it all yet but I know I won't give up and know that I need to keep moving forward to try to get my take home baby. Any of you have experience with the RML panel and genetic testing? What tests they do and how long everything takes for results? I am worried the genetic testing takes a long time to get results back, is this true? I know a lot of you have gone through more than one IVF cycles, any words of encouragement? I'm hoping it will be easier since I've done it before but emotionally and physically I'm just scared to be put through it again. I feel like my entire life lately is just obsessed with trying to get our family and I've lost myself along the way. I hope I can now join you guys on this board? I need all the support I can get for these next steps in our journey.

lincoln79 · December 2013

***coming out of lurkdom***

i am so sorry for your losses. i just wanted to give you our story, bc it may change what you choose to do next.

when we had our first loss, our re said doing genetic analysis of poc was pointless bc it was almost certainly a genetic issue w/ the embryos. two losses later, we had genetic analysis of our twins done and they were both genetically normal.

we have moved on to a gestational carrier, bc our embies aren't the problem. it is me.

drs. say it's a genetic issue but they really have no idea. i wish so much that we had genetic analysis done on loss #1. please consider having a d&c with an analysis of poc. knowledge is power, and you need as much as possible to make the next best decision.

huge hugs. i know how hard this is.

****back to lurkdom****

Mrs.McIrish · December 2013

I remember you and was following your cycle on IF. I'm very sorry that you had another loss. I agree with Lincoln that the doctor is just blowing smoke up your butt to conclude it is genetic without testing. I know you can't tell now as it was a natural m/c. I've seen a lot of immune type issues on these boards over the years but I won't lie about it- those ladies go thru hell to try to figure it out. Lots of work and money. Uphill battle.. Also a lot of push back from REs as most don't believe in it. I'd start with the RLP panel to see if anything shows up. Sorry you are here.

luvboston · December 2013

Irish so sorry for your losses. I have had 6 losses and can tell you that re's know hardly anything about m/c's the first thing they turn to is either a clotting disorder or genetic issue there are more complexities to losses than this.
I went to several re's and even ones that were supposed to specialize in m/c before I went with my gut and went to a real m/c specialist. I hope you won't have to go down this road.

This is what I suggest
1. Have the RPL panel done it takes a week to come back. Also have a karotyping of both you and DH done this takes two weeks to come back.

If both of these come back normal call the Beer Center in California and have a consult or Dr. Kwak Kim and Chicago, they are both excellent and are reproductive immunologists.

I would not agree to any more ivfs until this is all done. I could have saved thousands and not had as much heartache as I did if I had gone to them sooner. The Beer Center is the only reason I have my litte miracle today.

Crystal120410 · December 2013

::Waving ridiculously at Lincoln:: I think about you from time to time and have wondered how you are doing. I really hope that a GC gets you your baby. You sure as hell deserve it. Best wishes!

megs3084 · December 2013

We work w Dr Kwak Kim. I'd be happy to answer any questions I can.

DoublePortion · December 2013

I'm so sorry for your losses and hope you find a path that you feel comfortable with. ((hugs))

Lacyj67 · December 2013

Hey Irish. welcome and sorry you find your self here as to being here means you have had a lot of heartbreak.

I have gone through 3 ivfs and one FET with tubal from DEggs. I recently found from our RPL that I have a Pre genetic blood clotting disorder and high nk cells. Im glad i did it but still very unsure as to where this will take me with my 6 remaining embryos. Really no one knows why we miscarry exactly unless proper testing is done and I agree now with all the women who have given this advice is be your own advocate and if you feel that these drs are not doing the testing you may need go above and beyond to get the proper testing done.you will save loads of time and money in the long run. I probably wouldn't do another ivf cycle unless there was more testing done and possible pgd or something. good luck and ask away everyone knows there stuff over here!

Irishlove16 · December 2013

Thank you everyone for your responses and information! Very helpful! I will def be insisting on doing more testing before a new cycle. Very rare to say but I hope they find something wrong that is fixable that could be giving me a hard time keeping the pregnancy.

JSM0801 · December 2013

Welcome! I'm so sorry for your losses and all you are going through. Hope you get some answers soon.

Want a personalized experience?

XP from IF; Looking for support

Re: XP from IF; Looking for support

Choose Another Board

Search Boards