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March 2014 Moms
bumpuser10054788
member
Sick friend coming over for NYE >.
bumpuser10054788
member
This is partially a rant, and maybe also a bit of a WWYD.
For the last few years, we've always hosted a big NYE at our house for our friends and some close family members, and we're doing it again this year. One of our friends just answered last night that he will be attending. However, today I see him posting on FB about how sick he is (went through an entire box of tissues in a few hours, etc.) As far as I know, he is still planning to attend tomorrow, and I admit that while I feel partially like a b**** I feel kind of annoyed about it. I've been really careful about taking care of myself so far this pregnancy, including avoiding folks who are sick, but if he comes over, he will be in our house for 8+ hours and sharing our food -- exposing me, DH, and everyone else who attends to whatever he has (which he already said on FB he caught from hanging out with someone else who was sick). I admit pregnancy has turned me into a bit of a germophobe, but I really don't want to end up sick when there are so few things that are known as safe to take, and I don't want to miss time off work.
This friend knows that I'm pregnant, but he's a single guy and a bit socially inept, so I don't think he'd really think about the fact that I'm pregnant and maybe he shouldn't come over. Nevertheless, I feel like it would be really rude to uninvite him or try to discourage him from coming.
On the other hand, if he does come over and is truly as sick as he is saying, I know myself and I know I'll be worrying pretty much the whole time, and probably afraid to eat anything he might have touched, and will likely not be able to enjoy myself that much.
At least I got my flu shot this year, since I don't know what he has, although even that isn't 100% effective.
I am a FTM so I probably do worry too much about some things (and I'm sure hormones don't help), but do you think I'm overreacting by being annoyed/worrying about this? Would you say something to the friend, even if you thought they might not understand? (Right now, I'm leaning towards no, despite the worry, but am curious what others would do.) I guess there is still time for him to change his mind about coming, so maybe I'll keep my fingers crossed for that.
For the last few years, we've always hosted a big NYE at our house for our friends and some close family members, and we're doing it again this year. One of our friends just answered last night that he will be attending. However, today I see him posting on FB about how sick he is (went through an entire box of tissues in a few hours, etc.) As far as I know, he is still planning to attend tomorrow, and I admit that while I feel partially like a b**** I feel kind of annoyed about it. I've been really careful about taking care of myself so far this pregnancy, including avoiding folks who are sick, but if he comes over, he will be in our house for 8+ hours and sharing our food -- exposing me, DH, and everyone else who attends to whatever he has (which he already said on FB he caught from hanging out with someone else who was sick). I admit pregnancy has turned me into a bit of a germophobe, but I really don't want to end up sick when there are so few things that are known as safe to take, and I don't want to miss time off work.
This friend knows that I'm pregnant, but he's a single guy and a bit socially inept, so I don't think he'd really think about the fact that I'm pregnant and maybe he shouldn't come over. Nevertheless, I feel like it would be really rude to uninvite him or try to discourage him from coming.
On the other hand, if he does come over and is truly as sick as he is saying, I know myself and I know I'll be worrying pretty much the whole time, and probably afraid to eat anything he might have touched, and will likely not be able to enjoy myself that much.
At least I got my flu shot this year, since I don't know what he has, although even that isn't 100% effective.
I am a FTM so I probably do worry too much about some things (and I'm sure hormones don't help), but do you think I'm overreacting by being annoyed/worrying about this? Would you say something to the friend, even if you thought they might not understand? (Right now, I'm leaning towards no, despite the worry, but am curious what others would do.) I guess there is still time for him to change his mind about coming, so maybe I'll keep my fingers crossed for that.
This discussion has been closed.
Re: Sick friend coming over for NYE >.
He knows me so well. ;-)
Even if she had called, I would have said, "of COURSE you should come!" I don't want to get a cold while pregnant either, but it was Christmas and I wanted to see her enough that to me, it was WELL worth the risk. We didn't hug and we were both careful about handwashing. That's it.
Judge for yourself, I guess? How close of a friend is this? How important is it for you to see him? A cold will make you miserable but will not damage your LO, so this calculation doesn't seem much different to me whether you're pregnant or not. Will he be offended if you politely call him and ask him not to come?
YankeePeach08 - that is an awesome and tactful way to do it.
If it's just a cold it's probably not going to harm you or lo, but you will be miserable for a week plus all of pregnancy's sore/tired/whatever. if he's got the flu, a fever, or something like that, I'd think it's more dangerous and I definitely wouldn't risk it. If he really wants to go out, he can party elsewhere.
We actually do have standing plans with this friend and another friend for next weekend (as in Jan 7), so I was able to include talk of finalizing plans for that in there too. (I'm assuming that no matter what he has, he should at least not be contagious by then.) Also, since I have a maternity class scheduled earlier in the day on the 7th, I was able to throw a quick mention of that in there, as a sort of extra reminder that I'm pregnant
My Pregnancy/Parenting BLOG TTC since 5/2011, BFP #1 12/3/11, M/C 12/7/11 @ 4wks 2d. Began seeing RE Sep 2012. October 2012 Metformin 1500 mg= ovulation on CD34 BFP#2 11/14/12 9DPO, EDD 7/26/13, DX Gestational Diabetes @14 wks, our angel born sleeping 3/24/13 @ 22wks 2d. BFP #3 7/4/13 8DPO EDD 3/22/14, DX Gestational Diabetes @14 wks. started insulin @16 wks. Our rainbow, born 3/19/14 @ 39wks 6d., we're so in love!
DH decided to call the next morning to pass along some info about the party, but also see how he was feeling. If it was just a cold we were going to let it go, but if he sounded like death, DH said he might try to encourage him again that maybe he should stay home.
Turns out friend was feeling way worse the next day (and did sound really bad) and had already decided on his own that he wouldn't be able to make it, which saved us the awkwardness of perhaps needing to suggest that maybe he'd better of getting some rest. After we found out that he got sick after being exposed to someone who had pneumonia, we were really glad he decided to stay home. While we do feel bad for him and really hope he feels better soon, both me and DH really didn't want me to end up with pneumonia while pregnant!