Random thoughts that are questionable.

Mysterious_wife · December 2013

I get these random thoughts. Ones I probably should keep to myself. Since I can't say them to the people who they involve, I'll say them here.

Why do people say "they're gone too soon" when an old person dies? I get it when it's a child or young adult. An 80 year old man with horrible health who has lived an amazing life isn't gone too soon.

How do teens get hard drugs? I am not stupid I know they get them from friends. who starts the chain? Who wakes up and says hey BFFs I'm going to go get our meth? I can't place all the blame on the parents. I was a teen once. My mom was pretty on top of shit. I still got away with a lot BS.

So many questions. So many random thoughts. This is what keeps me up at night.

Helenahhandbasket · December 2013

I just usually lurk here, FWIW but I am at work and it's SLOOOOOWWWWW.

I persoanlly have never heard anyone say "gone too soon" in RE an elderly person. A young person, most def, but never an old person. Maybe this is a regional thing?

Teens get hard drugs anywhere. If they want them, they can get them. It has very little to do with your background or your upbringing.

Also, I don't think one simply wakes up one morning and decides to buy Meth. Usually it's a process-- maybe they start experimenting with beer or pot. This is not to say that everyone that tries pot will try a harder drug (I didn't) but I imagine most kids that try harder drugs start with booze or pot.

SmileyJay · December 2013

Ha! I have never understood the "gone too soon" thing either. I think most people are just really uncomfortable with death and don't quite know what to say or how to process it. My 96 year old great grandma passed last year and I was so surprised how many people in my family were sad and said things like that. She literally told all of us for 10 years prior that she was ready. She outlived her husband and most of her friends by 20 years and could no longer get around on her own. She died peacefully in her bed after all of us had come to visit and tell her we love her. Babies are born, old people die. I thought it was beautiful how ready she was.

Currently there is a distant relative who is in his 80s. Smoked and drank heavily his whole life, not to mention was just not very nice in general. Now everyone is shocked and saddened he has stage 4 lung cancer. Um... am I missing something?!

Re: drugs. When I was in HS some people would get beggars to buy them beer or maybe have a connection to buy pot. Some would steal pills from parents. How does a 15 year old get Meth? Cocaine? Heroin? How do they afford to smoke pot or do drugs on the regular? It baffles me still.

jnnfrrose6 · December 2013

About the death thing, I was wondering something similar today. I read the obituaries daily (I find them fascinating...weird, but whatever). Anyways, one in there today was about an 80+ year old who "died unexpectedly." How on earth does that happen? Even if the person was in "good health," they were still over 80. I'd say anything past 80, and maybe even 75, can't really be called unexpected. It's not like a 35 year old that had a heart attack. That is unexpected.

To the drugs, some ways have already been mentioned, but I'd have to think there are older siblings/friends who have easier access because they are older (lack of curfew, ability to get to a dealer, etc...), so that'd probably be another outlet.

Helenahhandbasket · December 2013

jnnfrrose6 said:

About the death thing, I was wondering something similar today. I read the obituaries daily (I find them fascinating...weird, but whatever). Anyways, one in there today was about an 80+ year old who "died unexpectedly." How on earth does that happen? Even if the person was in "good health," they were still over 80. I'd say anything past 80, and maybe even 75, can't really be called unexpected. It's not like a 35 year old that had a heart attack. That is unexpected.

To the drugs, some ways have already been mentioned, but I'd have to think there are older siblings/friends who have easier access because they are older (lack of curfew, ability to get to a dealer, etc...), so that'd probably be another outlet.

I sort of see where you are coming from, but IMO, my FIL's death was unexpected-- he was 74. He went in for a routine surgery and didn't make it through the surgery. It was a fluke thing.

I think more or less, when people say unexpected, they mean that the person wasn't in ill health despite age. It's just semantics.

Everyone's death is expected.

lifeonthehill · December 2013

I worked in an elderly folks home when I was 14,15,16 and people said this all of the time to me when I was upset about a resident passing. I just smiled through the tears and thanked them but seriously? A man who was there climbed Mt. Everest and was now unable to walk or feed himself. I loved that man and his stories but the last few months he was unable to speak. It was not to soon.

I just had a friend I was close to in HS die of a heroin overdose. I know he isn't a teenager(22 yrs) but he smoked so much pot back then and had been smoking cigs since elementary school. He really had no family life. I think PP was right that it is like a gateway. I knew the person who was dealing in school and probably should have told on them but it was actually an incredible story and I kept my nose out of it.

bugandbibs · December 2013

The drug thing keeps me up some nights. I worry all.the.time about J. Both of her bio parents were drug addicts, and I know her bio mom at least occasionally used while pregnant with her. I'm afraid of her increased risk for addiction with any experimentation. Ugh.

Mysterious_wife · December 2013

I also worry about drug abuse. With FIL and SIL being recovering addicts and MIL being an addict I think of it often.

LittleLunarMouse · January 2014

Sorry to bump an older post, but this was my first time seeing it and I'm bored at work, lol.

Re: teens and drugs. As someone who as a teenager did "hard drugs" (party drugs, ie ecstasy and ketamine) I can say with authority, they can get it very easily. They get it from other kids, who work as dealers and show up at parties specifically to sell. Those dealers typically work for REAL dealers (full blown adults) and they make good money doing it.

For me, it was never any relatives, and it wasn't anyone older. It was my friends, who were my age, who were not "bad kids" or "bad influences". We were normal, curious teenagers. I grew up with parents who taught me the dangers of drugs. I knew full well what I was doing, I just didn't care.

I think the most you can do is educate your kids (when they're old enough obviously) about what the drugs do, and how they affect your body in both the short and long term, and hope they're smart enough to listen. Because I didn't, I now have short term memory and attention span issues. Still, I was smart enough to never put myself in an unsafe environment, and I was always with people I trusted. If I hadn't done those things, it could have ended up much differently for me.

As for the "pot is a gateway drug" theory, that has been disproven and debunked time and time again. If anything, alcohol and cigarettes are the "gateway drugs".

Just wanted to answer your question with my own personal experiences! I know there are many many factors, both societal as well as regional, but I thought some first hand information might give you a little insight. If you have any questions, feel free to ask!

Mimaloo · January 2014

Mysterious_wife said:

I get these random thoughts. Ones I probably should keep to myself. Since I can't say them to the people who they involve, I'll say them here. Why do people say "they're gone too soon" when an old person dies? I get it when it's a child or young adult. An 80 year old man with horrible health who has lived an amazing life isn't gone too soon. How do teens get hard drugs? I am not stupid I know they get them from friends. who starts the chain? Who wakes up and says hey BFFs I'm going to go get our meth? I can't place all the blame on the parents. I was a teen once. My mom was pretty on top of shit. I still got away with a lot BS. So many questions. So many random thoughts. This is what keeps me up at night.

I'm a lurker from the birth month boards but I recently lost one of my best friends to heroin. He (wealthy, preppy, yacht club kid - you never would have known it as he didn't fit the "crackhead" persona) had explained to me (when he was clean) how he got started. I've heard from others that this is pretty common...

They start with pot and pills. When that isn't enough maybe they try coke. Once they become a regular customer, the dealer will give them a sample of something harder for free. Heroin and meth, from what I understand, can hook you the first time - as happened with him. The dealers know this so once they hook you, they have a steady income until the person ODs.

As for PPs comments about pot not being a gateway drug, for some it absolutely is.

dogperson11 · January 2014

LittleLunarMouse said:
Sorry to bump an older post, but this was my first time seeing it and I'm bored at work, lol.

Re: teens and drugs. As someone who as a teenager did "hard drugs" (party drugs, ie ecstasy and ketamine) I can say with authority, they can get it very easily. They get it from other kids, who work as dealers and show up at parties specifically to sell. Those dealers typically work for REAL dealers (full blown adults) and they make good money doing it.

For me, it was never any relatives, and it wasn't anyone older. It was my friends, who were my age, who were not "bad kids" or "bad influences". We were normal, curious teenagers. I grew up with parents who taught me the dangers of drugs. I knew full well what I was doing, I just didn't care.

I think the most you can do is educate your kids (when they're old enough obviously) about what the drugs do, and how they affect your body in both the short and long term, and hope they're smart enough to listen. Because I didn't, I now have short term memory and attention span issues. Still, I was smart enough to never put myself in an unsafe environment, and I was always with people I trusted. If I hadn't done those things, it could have ended up much differently for me.

As for the "pot is a gateway drug" theory, that has been disproven and debunked time and time again. If anything, alcohol and cigarettes are the "gateway drugs".

Just wanted to answer your question with my own personal experiences! I know there are many many factors, both societal as well as regional, but I thought some first hand information might give you a little insight. If you have any questions, feel free to ask!

Call me crazy, but how is dealing drugs at parties not a "bad influence"? A dealer is someone who tries to sell (ie influences others to buy)...

Mysterious_wife · January 2014

I think she was meaning they were the ones you wouldn't expect. The ones who looked like your stereotypical goodie goodie kids

LittleLunarMouse · January 2014

@dogperson11 Yes to what MW said, and also, that I meant my friends were the people whom introduced me to said things, but they weren't the ones selling them to me. They may have influenced me, but not in a manipulative kind of way. It was my own decision, there wasn't any "peer pressure". It just looked fun, and that's where I let the thought process behind that decision making end, like a typical teenager.

I'm in agreement with everything Lilki said, except about cats. I luv my fur babies

;D

LittleLunarMouse · January 2014

@Lilki - baahhahaha! I totally read that wrong, but reading it how its actually written is hilarious XD. I think I may have been a cat in a past life, due to my love of naps, laying in the sun, and HATING wearing wet clothing (how I imagine it must feel with wet fur) :P among other traits that remind me of cats, lol. We get each other ;3

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