Trouble TTC

Sad, mad, what's the difference?!? Parental vent!

I know I'm new here, and I guess this is a good place, because where else would I go to share this type of frustration??? Out to dinner with the fam tonight for brother's bday - youngest sis (23) and mom (58) started joking that after almost 2 years, my mom just had a visit from AF x7 days. Lightheartedly I mentioned that I feel lucky to only have AF come x2 days (been like that from day1 of womanhood, all testing came back ok) and my dad pipes in "maybe that's the factor" so stupidly, I ask "factor of what??" To which he replies to a full table of family members (none of whom we've shared our struggle with) "maybe something's wrong with you and that's why you're not pregnant". I'm sorry, but f'ing really???? Get out of here! How dare you say such a thing to me #1, and #2 in a public restaurant with our whole family?? I know he doesn't know that we're seeing a specialist because so far we really can't get pregnant on our own, but I just felt embarrassed and hurt. We haven't told anyone because since we got married and started trying (2 years ago) EVERYONE asks every time they see us "are you pregnant yet??" As if we wouldn't shout it from the rooftops when we are?? Sometimes I wish it was perfectly acceptable to tell people, family included, to shut the F up.

Me:Hypothyroid DH: Type II diabetic. Together since 03/2007, Married 10/2011, D/C bc 10/2011. TTC: 11/2011. Charted BBT and CV along with OPK 10/2011-02/2012 Baseline labs 02/2012 WNL, SA 03/2012: botched sample by lab - destroyed hubby's confidence. 04/2012 Clomid 05/2012 Clomid 06/2012 Clomid 07/2012 Clomid and Ovidrel 08/2012 Ovidrel (I never knew that I was supposed to be monitored while on meds...I never was. I asked for u/s and other tests to see why we weren't getting pregnant, doc just kept giving me meds and telling me to go to his church for a "laying of hands") Stopped all monitoring/testing/temps, etc, Sex became a chore and we started to grow apart. At 12 mos I decided to look for another doc. 02/2013 consult with new doc....3 days later testing began...u/s, all good, HSG: all good, labs: all good, ovulating, etc. Started on Pregnitude. 04/2013 failed attempt for SA, 05/2013 failed attempt SA. 12/2013 SA: 3% morph, abnormal functionality. DH started Pycnogenol. RE consult 01/15/2014.

ALL Welcome :)

 Expecting one baby bean!! EDD: October 3, 2014

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Re: Sad, mad, what's the difference?!? Parental vent!

  • Yikes! Family (well, people in general) can be ignorant about IF and really insensitive. I'm sorry you had that experience. How did the family react? I hope they were supportive.

    Me: 32  DH: 33  Married: March 2004

    July 2006: started TTC
    2008: HSG (normal), couple rounds of clomid through gyno
    2008 - 2010: dragging my feet out of fear and procrastination
    October 2010: first consultation with RE, dx PCOS and fibroids (DH slightly low count/motility)
    Oct. 2010 - Dec. 2012:  In DENIAL! avoided the issue because I was scared of surgery
    January 2013: returned to RE, fibroids grew significantly
    February 2013: second HSG, fibroids pushed on tubes which blocked them somewhat
    March 2013: MRI to determine what type of surgery may be necessary

    July 29, 2013: fibroids (5) removed via robotic laparascopy
    August 2013 - Nov 2013 : benched due to recent surgery

    IUI #1, Dec. 24, 2013, BFN 
    IUI #2, Jan. 25, 2014, BFN
    IUI #3, Feb. 25, 2014  BFN
    IUI #4 canceled due to lack of response to letrozole
    IUI #4.1 April 28, 2014, BFN

    May 16, 2014: wtf consult, start prepping for IVF in June and add injects for one last IUI in the meantime
    IUI #5 started letrozole and bravelle but canceled after HSG led to new diagnosis

    May 21, 2014: third HSG, tubes blocked, one at the beginning, one hydrosalpinx??
    June 11, 2014: consult, approved to move on to IVF because the hydro is not completely blocked therefore allowing fluid to move through slowly rather than backwards
    IVF #1 August 8, 2014 - 3dt of 2 embryos, BFN
    September 17, 2014 - 4th HSG, the right tube is very patent (open!!) dye went straight through this time. Weird!
    October 2, 2014 - started metformin treatment
    November 14, 2014 - blood work, brought A1C down from 5.8 to 5.5

    November 26, 2014 - RE finally back from vaca and reviewed my chart, no more IVFs for rest of calendar year
    December 1, 2014 - Right after Thanksgiving, I called a new clinic and got in right away! Plan for IVF
    December 17, 2014 - ER! 29 retrieved (!!), 16 mature, all 16 fertilized (ICSI)

    IVF #2 December 20, 2014 - 3dt of 3 embryos, BFN

    We are done with treatment unsuccessfully. :(


    PAIF/SAIF/All Welcome!

    image    image
  • i understand @hopeful1029 but you have to remember some people just dont understand infertility, and maybe to a guy, he thinks 7 day periods are the normal. . what do they know lol? 

    mine are usually 3/4 days so i feel ya, but i would maybe get one;--maaaybe 2 periods a year. . and didnt really see any cause for concern until seeing my RE, so i get it. Somethings we just gotta let slide..id tell him though, that it deff hurt your feelings. 



    image
    DH= burn vic, abn sa MFI|| ME= PCOS, Sarcoidosis, Hypohyroidism HSG-OK
    tried naturally 2011 & 2012-
    TTC with nurse practitioner 2013
    2 clomid cycles- both bfn, started seeing RE 2013 
    FEBUARY PLAN-HSG|| March Game plan-FEMARA IUI+TRIGGER 
    MARCH-BFP (beta1;104-beta2;302)-bc of hsg
    [[all welcome !!!!!!!!!!!! ]]
    image
  • Loading the player...
  • I think everyone might suspect something's amiss, since everyone knows we've been trying since we got married, so it just got all awkward and everyone kinda looked around/played with their food, etc. I just laughed at him and said I was fine and I've had short periods since I started getting them and my docs have never been worried.....I didn't get in to the fact that I've had more u/s wands shoved up my hooha and bloodwork done to prove my parts are all working well. I just felt embarrassed that he was insensitive enough to bring something like that up, and crushed because I'm well aware that I haven't gotten pregnant these past 2 years.

    Me:Hypothyroid DH: Type II diabetic. Together since 03/2007, Married 10/2011, D/C bc 10/2011. TTC: 11/2011. Charted BBT and CV along with OPK 10/2011-02/2012 Baseline labs 02/2012 WNL, SA 03/2012: botched sample by lab - destroyed hubby's confidence. 04/2012 Clomid 05/2012 Clomid 06/2012 Clomid 07/2012 Clomid and Ovidrel 08/2012 Ovidrel (I never knew that I was supposed to be monitored while on meds...I never was. I asked for u/s and other tests to see why we weren't getting pregnant, doc just kept giving me meds and telling me to go to his church for a "laying of hands") Stopped all monitoring/testing/temps, etc, Sex became a chore and we started to grow apart. At 12 mos I decided to look for another doc. 02/2013 consult with new doc....3 days later testing began...u/s, all good, HSG: all good, labs: all good, ovulating, etc. Started on Pregnitude. 04/2013 failed attempt for SA, 05/2013 failed attempt SA. 12/2013 SA: 3% morph, abnormal functionality. DH started Pycnogenol. RE consult 01/15/2014.

    ALL Welcome :)

     Expecting one baby bean!! EDD: October 3, 2014

    <a href="http://www.thebump.com/?utm_source=ticker&utm_medium=HTML&utm_campaign=tickers" title="Baby Names"><img src="http://global.thebump.com/tickers/tt1a76cc.aspx" alt=" Pregnancy Ticker" border="0"  /></a>

  • yeah but guys dont understand the mechanics about IF, they just think (booze+sex=baby) they dont know both partners have to have parts working , and the timing has to be just "so" its okay. if i was there i would have been like "akkkwarddd" out loud lol.  :-B



    image
    DH= burn vic, abn sa MFI|| ME= PCOS, Sarcoidosis, Hypohyroidism HSG-OK
    tried naturally 2011 & 2012-
    TTC with nurse practitioner 2013
    2 clomid cycles- both bfn, started seeing RE 2013 
    FEBUARY PLAN-HSG|| March Game plan-FEMARA IUI+TRIGGER 
    MARCH-BFP (beta1;104-beta2;302)-bc of hsg
    [[all welcome !!!!!!!!!!!! ]]
    image
  • Clearly, your father is clueless. One of the things that sucks so bad about IF is that sometimes the people closest to us are the ones who make the most unfortunate comments!! I hope one day you can look back at that and laugh.
    Me: 34 | He: 40
    TTC since 08/2012
    DX: DOR




  • I'm sorry. That's really crappy  :(
    10/2013 - Initial consult. Started levothyroxine - tsh 2.92
    HSG- showed graying in one spot/Saline Sono- showed 5mm polyp
    DH SA -  abnormal -  36%motility on both SA's (count and morph ok on SA1, a little off SA2)
    1/10/14 - Hysteroscopy to remove 5mm polyp
    1/12/14- Medicated Cycle 1: 50mg Clomid + Ovidrel + TI = BFN
    2/15/14 - Medicated Cycle 2: 100mg Clomid + Ovidrel + TI = BFN
    3/18/14 - IUI Cycle 1: 150mg Clomid + Ovidrel + IUI = BFN
    Upped Levothyroxine to 50mg - tested at 2.62
    4/17/14 - IUI Cycle 2: 150mg Clomid + Ovidrel + IUI = BFN
    Break!
    6/21/14: IUI Cycle 3: 150mg Clomid + Ovidrel + IUI

    *All are welcome*




  • Ugh...so sorry.  It sucks when things like that come out of people's mouths, let along your parent.

    I have had 2 day periods my whole life too, and I've check out ok too.  I've never had concern raised by anyone because of it?

    It is true that men just don't understand, but that's definitely no reason (IMO) to 'let it slide' completely. If you have a good enough relationship with your father, I would definitely make it a point to let him know how much that hurt you.  It depends on how much it hurt you.  Maybe you can just simply tell them you don't want it brought up in public.

    My mom says things sometimes that rub me the wrong way, but when she does I just try to explain to her why she is wrong (because I KNOW it is an 'clueless' thing, not a hurtful thing.  I know she isn't doing it to hurt me, or make accusations, I just she she legitimately doesn't understand.  

    GL with whatever you choose, but try not to take too hard of a hit from it.

    ME - 31, DH - 40

    Married 06/25/2011, TTC since 03/2012

    BFP #1 on 11/13/12 -- EDD 7/24/13 -- M/C (CP) on 11/21/12

    BFP #2 on  7/21/13 -- EDD 3/29/14 -- M/C (CP) on 7/31/13

    09/4/13 - 4/16/14 -- IUI #1 - 6 = BFNs :(

    7/13/14 -- IVF #1 w/ ICSI

    ER on 7/26/14 -- 20 R, 15 M, 11 F

    ET on 7/31/14 -- 1 transferred (4bb); 8 frosties!!!

    BFP #3 on 8/8/14 -- EDD 04/18/15

    BETA #1:  473,  BETA #2: 1009, BETA #3: 1975

    ** It's a BOY!!! **

    image

    image    image 

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