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"man up" NBFR but parenting related

ambrvanambrvan member
in Blended Families
https://www.upworthy.com/theres-something-absolutely-wrong-with-what-we-do-to-boys-before-they-grow-into-men?c=ufb2

From what I know of most of you ladies, a lot of you already feel this way, but I'm curious to know about your husbands, your kids' BDs, other important or frequent figures in their lives. And if they are still very much of the "man up" mind set, how do you deal with that with your boys?
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Re: "man up" NBFR but parenting related

  • SimpleJaneSimpleJane member
    I think teaching our boys how to be men, starts with the type of 'men' we allow them to look up to. It starts at home. If we give them role models that teach them that never showing emotion, being 'tough', controlling their family, ect. , makes them a man then that is what we can expect them to believe and model.

    Boys need role models that teach them confidence. They deserve to see modeled for them a man who takes care of his family, shows respect to earn respect, communicates well and doesn't bottle his emotions. It starts in the family. Unfortunately it becomes a hell of a lot harder when you are part of a blended family and you can't control what happens in the other home.

    My son is a very sweet, sensitive, caring, and emotional individual. The term 'man up' has always pissed me off because I've heard it in reference to him many times. If he was a girl nobody would be saying those things. My job as a parent is to teach him to deal with his emotions and feelings in a productive and healthy way. Not to teach him to pretend he doesn't feel. My job as a parent is to give him a safe place to fall back on in me and my home, because the world will be hard enough on him. My job as a parent is to make him secure enough in himself that he doesn't need to put on a mask and prove his masculinity to anybody.
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  • SueBearSueBear member

    I was thinking about a similar topic recently.  I was listening to a song ("Buttons" by the Pussycat Dolls) which basically states that since the guy doesn't make a sexual move on the woman, he is less than a man.  There are other songs with similar suggestions.  Men (boys) should be free to say no to sex, too!  I want to raise a son who feels confident saying "no, I do not want to get nakked with your skanky, slutty *ss!"

    DH yearned to hear his father tell him he loved him.  It never happened - - FIL is not emotional.   DH tells DS every day that he loves him.  I'm sure DS takes it for granted now, he does not know any other way.

    I saw "Miss Representation," and am looking forward to seeing this documentary - - even if I don't like seeing the reality of what life is like for boys today.

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