Community› The Bump Message Boards› Toddlers: 12 - 24 Months
Toddlers: 12 - 24 Months
New Discussion

17 month old disciplining

littlemurphy2912littlemurphy2912 member
in Toddlers: 12 - 24 Months
Ok so I've read lots of other posts regarding disciplining and handling toddlers with their behaviors and tantrums but I feel I need a little but of advice from people who have figured out good disciplining methods that have worked for their toddlers and would like to share with me. I have an almost 17 month old who has liked hitting my husband and I only since she was 6 months old. It only seems to have become more of an on purpose way of hitting us now. She goes to daycare and has been bitten, scratched on the face more times than I can count and yet her teachers and the director of the daycare says she really listens when anyone is talking to her so whatever we are doing at home to teach her discipline must be working. We have for many months when she hits or smacks my husband and I in the face take her hands and say no hit be nice and say be gentle but will keep smacking us pretty hard. She has started doing this game where she will touch something we tell her not to and will take her away from it, engage her in another activity or toy and she smiles and goes back to it and we keep saying no or don't touch and she just laughs and keeps doing it. My husband and I aren't sure what to do because we don't think our disciplining is getting through to her and don't want to spank her or hit her in any way. Any advice? I know being consistent is key but it's starting to wear on my husband and I and not sure what to do. She's started hitting my in-laws now and it's starting to worry us. We have tried explaining what she is doing is not nice but she just runs away when we try to explain or sit her down. Ugh!
Report Reply to Post

Re: 17 month old disciplining

  • littlemurphy2912littlemurphy2912 member
    We have tried sitting her in a boring area of our house and having her sit in front of my husband and I and tell her to stay sitting down but she keeps getting up or flaying her body around to get out of it and don't think it's working. :(
    Report Reply
  • Loading the player...
  • littlemurphy2912littlemurphy2912 member
    The gentle touch of our face we have done many times when she first started doing it then she stopped for a bit and has picked it back up now and we say no that hurt sits not nice and we don't hit and she will do it again with a smile. We may try to do timeout the ways you have suggested and see how it goes. She seems like she needs a lot of our attention and we are iffy on considering bringing another kid into the mix.
    Report Reply
  • littlemurphy2912littlemurphy2912 member
    Thank you all very much. Yes you're right on separation anxiety she's a big mommy's girl and doesn't like being away from me. We do concentrate on giving her lots of positive praise so she knows the difference and we can see that doing lots of good just can't get her to see that certain things are not good and to not do them when someone says please stop
    Report Reply
  • ashiscuteashiscute member
    Try to remember that she is doing normal toddler things that all toddlers do and it's not that you aren't doing a good job at something.  It sounds to me that she is doing it for attention so I withdraw attention.  If I'm holding my son and he hits I put him down immediately and say "no hitting" and ignore him for 30 seconds or so.  He does not like that. 

    She is sort of at an age where time out may or may not work depending on her temperament.  We started time out with DD between 18 and 19 months and I did not hold her on my lap.  I sort of did more of a supernanny approach where if she got up I put her back.  Obviously I give her wiggle room so I let her flail about and whatnot but she cannot get up or scoot all the way away from the space.  I started 45 second timeouts for just the serious things (hitting, pushing, throwing things) and it clicked pretty quick for her.  Good luck!
    Report Reply
  • janinekrausejaninekrause member
    ashiscute said:
    Try to remember that she is doing normal toddler things that all toddlers do and it's not that you aren't doing a good job at something.  It sounds to me that she is doing it for attention so I withdraw attention.  If I'm holding my son and he hits I put him down immediately and say "no hitting" and ignore him for 30 seconds or so.  He does not like that. 

    She is sort of at an age where time out may or may not work depending on her temperament.  We started time out with DD between 18 and 19 months and I did not hold her on my lap.  I sort of did more of a supernanny approach where if she got up I put her back.  Obviously I give her wiggle room so I let her flail about and whatnot but she cannot get up or scoot all the way away from the space.  I started 45 second timeouts for just the serious things (hitting, pushing, throwing things) and it clicked pretty quick for her.  Good luck!


    We did the same thing. If I held her in my lap, she wouldn't have cared. I put her on the couch in the room right next to where we were. She would get up repeatedly, and I just kept putting her back, over and over again. Once she actually sat, we would leave her for a minute or so. It took about a week or so for her to learn to sit. She TOTALLY gets time outs- we started early- somewhere between 16-18 months, and the threat of time out usually is enough now.

     

    As they get older, it is much easier to reason. When they are that young, it doesn't work. 

     

    Also, the gentle hands, etc, absolutely didn't work in my house.

    Report Reply
  • littlemurphy2912littlemurphy2912 member
    Thanks again for all the great tips and advice. As of last night I tried a different technique with my daughter as far as me saying no and her throwing a fit in my lap and crying and gagging from crying and I told her to calm down and listen to mommy and after 30 seconds of that she stopped and listened after she knew she wasn't getting her way and followed my instructions and was very happy afterwards. I think when she gets a bit older we will start implementing time out. Thanks again!
    Report Reply
  • desertmouse39desertmouse39 member
    I don't know where anyone mentioned  here that they hit their LO????  

    My  18 mo daughter also thinks its funny to hit - and it's really only me who she engages like this with.  No problems at daycare and she rarely socks DH.  When she slaps or hits me, I right away put her down and remove myself from her space.  I tell her "No, we do not hit.  Hitting hurts!"  Then I walk away for about 30 - 60 seconds.  She hates this, and it stops the behavior about 95% of the time.  My pediatrician also recommended that if/when she does this when DH is around, he should be the one to verbally correct her, and take her away from my vicinity.  
    Report Reply
  • littlemurphy2912littlemurphy2912 member
    Thanks again for the helpful tips. Maybe I will have my DH help take her from me when she does it to me and myself take her from him when she does it to him maybe?
    Report Reply
  • desertmouse39desertmouse39 member
    Yes, I try to be the 'intervener' when she misbehaves with him - she loves to grab his glasses and throw them to the floor and we are trying to teach her not to do this.  It is difficult, now at this age they are becoming so willful and getting into everything... it's hard to figure out appropriate redirection and teaching limits and rules when they are all of a sudden so defiant!
    Report Reply
  • vrj0522vrj0522 member
    We started timeouts at 18 months. I read somewhere that anytime before that is too soon so we waited (and it was hard to!). LO has always been into hitting and whenever there were other children around he turned into the bully. I had to apologize so many times to other parents for his behavior! DH and I tried diverting his attention but he always went back, so then we'd hold him and say he couldn't do that, be gentle but he still kept doing it. He is very strong willed and has a very strong temper (has since he was only a few weeks old). 

    The first 2 times I did time out with him, I literally had to put him back on the spot like 40 times (watching Supernanny in the past was helpful, otherwise I probably would've given in at about try 10). Eventually he stayed and now he gets time out for hitting or throwing his pacifier at someone (does it when he gets mad). He doesn't really get it for anything else at this point. We use a timer and at the end I reiterate no hitting and need to be gentle and he shows me how he can be gentle (usually pats my head softly) and then we hug and kiss.

    Wow! What a difference we have seen! He is so much more gentle and obedient in every way, even though he only gets timeout when he hits. I've just noticed a world of difference in his ability to listen and do as told. I've also watched him control himself when he really wants to hit. Timeout has really worked for us and I think it's helping him to learn self-control. 
    Lilypie Pregnancy tickers
    Me: 38 DH: 36
    Married 8/27/2011
    BFP #1 9/28/2011 DS born 5/22/2012
    BFP #2 4/24/2013 m/c 4/25/2013 at 4w
    BFP #3 1/31/2014 DD born 10/14/2014
    BFP #4 1/20/2016 m/c 2/12/2014 at 7w2d
    BFP #5 8/19/2016 DS2 born 4/29/2017
    BFP #6 3/7/2018 EDD 11/18/2018


    Report Reply
This discussion has been closed.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards
"
"