MIL? Psssh... My own mother

sfeebs13 · December 2013

Mother, why did you feel the need to feed DD turkey solids and whatever the hell else you did with her for 3 days? Poor child is so constipated and now you're texting me telling me to give her prunes her stools were a bit hard.... ROCK HARD. She texted me telling me to give her some prunes she didn't want her to get an umbilical hernia from straining.... Well, if you had followed my directions instead of thinkingm y 5 month old is one year old. Her tummy can't handle the 4 different foods you fed her 3xs a day!

It pisses me off really bad because my mom treats me like I don't know my daughter and she knows her better and just ugh!!

We're doing lots of bicycle legs this weekend.

girlmama83 · December 2013

She have her solid turkey? Like not even purées.... ?

sfeebs13 · December 2013

Well no, but it was second foods. She kept telling me she needs more protein and I've been starving her. I have given her some puréed turkey and squash but a spoonful or two, not a whole damn jar!

girlmama83 · December 2013

sfeebs13 said:
Well no, but it was second foods. She kept telling me she needs more protein and I've been starving her. I have given her some puréed turkey and squash but a spoonful or two, not a whole damn jar!

Oh. I'm not taking away from what she did, she's definitely wrong, I just wasn't sure from your post.

KQuinonez · December 2013

I am so sorry. I do not get why she thinks she knows better than you. I would be so angry. Hopefully the constipation passes quickly.

sfeebs13 · December 2013

lindsey61811 said:

Well no, but it was second foods. She kept telling me she needs more protein and I've been starving her. I have given her some puréed turkey and squash but a spoonful or two, not a whole damn jar!
Oh. I'm not taking away from what she did, she's definitely wrong, I just wasn't sure from your post.

No, I should have clarified. I think this is a small problem of the whole. When I bring DD around her, she takes over and makes me feel like Zoey is hers not mine. I will however add that my docile non-confrontational self explained how I was feeling.. We will see if she respects my wishes.

starshower22 · December 2013

Wow! I would be furious! I'm mad at your mom for you! I don't know why other people think they know better. I get it, she's mom and took care of kids but for her to feed your baby things that you don't want her to have and make comments about you starving her is unacceptable. I hope your little Zoey feels better soon!! (((hugs))) for you!

carrotcake06 · December 2013

petey1106 said:
I would be pissed. I'm so sorry. I hope Zoey feels better soon!
We are starting solids soon, but we decided to wait until all our relatives go back home (they live out of state) so we don't have to deal with this. My aunt kept saying she was going to give LO mashed potatoes way before the holidays even started so we are holding off until everyone is gone so we can control the foods he gets.

Yes, this. My FIL kept hinting at giving the boys garlic breadsticks the other day. And gave them onion rings to "hold". And offered them ham at breakfast. Next year, FIL. Next year.

(To be clear, he wasn't pushy and they actually ingested zero table food)

sfeebs13 · December 2013

starshower22 said: Wow! I would be furious! I'm mad at your mom for you! I don't know why other people think they know better. I get it, she's mom and took care of kids but for her to feed your baby things that you don't want her to have and make comments about you starving her is unacceptable. I hope your little Zoey feels better soon!! (((hugs))) for you! And @starshower22 she does in it a way that really gets under my skin like talking to LO about it in front of me in a sweet baby voice, "I'm just so hungry, my mommy has been starving me."

... Uh, fuck you. I BF her for 4.5 months she's been on formula for 3 weeks and I have followed pedis suggestions.

Texasmomma13 · December 2013

Oh hell naw!! I know you said you're very non confrontational but you really to stand up for yourself. She'll only continue that passive aggressive bullshit if you allow her to. If she can't respect your role as mom and the rules you give her about lo, then she doesn't need to be alone with lo. Next time you're feeling reluctant to speak up remember how miserable Zoey feels right now.
I hope she, and you, feel better soon.

sfeebs13 · December 2013

@lisarene77. I always love your advice and I plan to make that very clear.

Plus also I read your comment to FI and he lol-ed. Literally.

NikkiD522 · December 2013

I don't get it... Mom, MIL, strangers.. Not sure how anyone thinks they do whatever with YOUR baby.. I hope your LO feels better soon!!.. I just bought this for LO:

LokiLahve · December 2013

lisarene77 said:
Oh hell naw!! I know you said you're very non confrontational but you really to stand up for yourself. She'll only continue that passive aggressive bullshit if you allow her to. If she can't respect your role as mom and the rules you give her about lo, then she doesn't need to be alone with lo. Next time you're feeling reluctant to speak up remember how miserable Zoey feels right now.
I hope she, and you, feel better soon.

Every bit if this. I'm sorry Z is feeling bad and hope she gets relief soon.
I'm not one to be confrontational either, but when it comes to someone directly ignoring something I've instructed about lo my momma bear wakes up.

Mom2bois85 · December 2013

Oh no! Seriously though a teaspoon of 100% prune juice added to BM or formula will soften up stool so it's less painful for LO.

I wouldn't give her prunes though

Revez · December 2013

I'm so mad for you. My mom would not be alone with my child again if that were the case. It's a blatant disregard for your instructions and a disrespect for your role as a mother.

CourtJack · December 2013

Poor LO

hoping her tummy feels better soon. Maybe you slip your mom a laxative for kicks....

Just kidding. But I'd be mad.

RoosterMemphis · December 2013

I bet I could one up you on crazy mom.

I'm sorry you had that happen. I haven't and will not give my mother the opportunity to do anything like this will my kid. Did she give you any inclination that something like this could happen? People give red flags. Make sure you pay attention to them.

tdmklm · December 2013

Crazy. Crazy. You have my respect because you didn't deck her.

PB102012 · December 2013

That's awful. I am sorry.

MommyBolty · December 2013

OMG I'm pissed off for you!! That would be grounds to never let my mom be alone with LO again! That's so horrible! I'm sorry it happened!

sfeebs13 · December 2013

Thanks ladies.. It's going to be tough when I go back to work and school because she's really going to be upset if she continues after a serious discussion.. I will pay a babysitter. Don't think I won't.

sfeebs13 · December 2013

RoosterMemphis said:

I bet I could one up you on crazy mom. I'm sorry you had that happen. I haven't and will not give my mother the opportunity to do anything like this will my kid. Did she give you any inclination that something like this could happen? People give red flags. Make sure you pay attention to them.

@roostermemphis my mom has always kind of been controlling. She would ask me what sort of smoothie or some shit I may have wanted then decide for me. Just recently since LO has been born she's been very pushy about what I do with her and this and that. I think I tried to make it clear I am very capable and she needs to back the fuck off and follow my rules. I'm more concerned that DD is suffering because she just wanted to do things her way.

I guess I felt very disrespected as a mother, from my mother.

Minus a few details, we were supposed to stay through Sunday, but we packed up LO and left Thursday as soon as we woke up.

sfeebs13 · December 2013

@jessicavana. Yes, she will be watching her. At least 3 days a week. Most likely more.

RoosterMemphis · December 2013

sfeebs13 said:

RoosterMemphis said:

I bet I could one up you on crazy mom. I'm sorry you had that happen. I haven't and will not give my mother the opportunity to do anything like this will my kid. Did she give you any inclination that something like this could happen? People give red flags. Make sure you pay attention to them.

@roostermemphis my mom has always kind of been controlling. She would ask me what sort of smoothie or some shit I may have wanted then decide for me. Just recently since LO has been born she's been very pushy about what I do with her and this and that. I think I tried to make it clear I am very capable and she needs to back the fuck off and follow my rules. I'm more concerned that DD is suffering because she just wanted to do things her way.

I guess I felt very disrespected as a mother, from my mother.

Minus a few details, we were supposed to stay through Sunday, but we packed up LO and left Thursday as soon as we woke up.

Well- that decides it then. If I were you, I wouldn't let her watch my kid without me there. It will take consistency and practice on your end, but you will make her understand what is ok and what isn't

ashleyamberRN · December 2013

@sfeebs13 maybe if you talk to her and tell her the point about being disrespected as a mother, it should put her in check. I would think any half way decent mother would be hit hard knowing they made their own daughter feel this way as a new mother. This way, even if she blows off the stuff about the food (like if she doesn't think its a big deal) then she will hopefully back off still for your sake. Good luck.

P.s. I absolutely love the name zoey! I hope she feels better soon.

MammaBear81 · December 2013

sfeebs13 said:

Thanks ladies.. It's going to be tough when I go back to work and school because she's really going to be upset if she continues after a serious discussion.. I will pay a babysitter. Don't think I won't.

This is what we had do to. My mom lives 10 MINUTES away from me, yet we ended up hiring an au pair for our children because she just couldn't follow our directions. At 3 months old I was starving him... he should be drinking 8 oz AND starting cereal/purees (he was drinking 5oz of BM and completely content). He rolled over at 6 weeks so she told me, "I guess we don't need to put him on his back anymore, since he can roll anyway".... NO! Yes she raised two children, 30+ years ago, things change and she refuses to think that I might be doing the right thing.

It doesnt matter that I have 5 other children, who are healthy, happy, well mannered and who eat what's put in front of them, she knows better, and I'm doing it wrong.

On the other hand I wish my MIL was local... I'd have her watch the kids FT in a heartbeat.

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