Work travel....thoughts/advice

coffeeandbooks · December 2013

Since LO was born I have been working part-time but starting January I am going back full-time. My office in general has been super accommodating with me and is even letting me tel-commute. My job is important to my family financially and I am the only one with benefits.
But the third week in January, they want me to basically go on a full seven day trip...its a three day meeting back to back with with a four day conference. Both are out of town and about a five hour drive from my home. My job will require travel a couple days of travel each month but this back to back thing making it seven days is definitely out of the ordinary.
My style with LO till this point has been pretty AP...I am with him all the time...cosleep...do a lot baby wearing...and he is at a stage where he likes to keep me in view all the time.
For a lot of different reasons, I can't bring LO and DH with me so LO would be apart from me for that time.
LO is seven months on Jan 3 and I feel like seven days is a long time in the life of a baby and I am really afraid this is going to mess him up.
Right now, I am thinking about telling my boss that I will do the three day meeting but that either I don't want to do the conference for the above reasons, or telling them that I can't because I can't get childcare for that long. My direct boss is a mother so I think she would get it if I came clean about my anxiety but giving an excuse instead makes it more clear it isn't an option.
Anyway, just curious what would you do/say?

LN1024 · December 2013

I understand being anxious and nervous about leaving, but if your job has already been supportive, I would try to make it work this month. Seven days is a lot of time, but on the other hand, your job is important financially so I would explain to your boss that it couldn't continue to be an every month thing. Disclaimer: I also come from a different viewpoint as many as my husband has been away without communication with us a few times now. It's the nature of the job sometimes, and we knew that going into it.

surpriseaddition · December 2013

If you want your job to work long-term, you need to be open and honest. You don't really know what your boss is thinking...maybe she was going "stir crazy" when her first was an infant, and thinks that having the back to back trips would be a wonderful break from mommihood for you. Telling her how you feel maybe opens up the conference opportunity for one of your colleagues to go instead. Before I had kids, I loved traveling in my corporate job...but I let my boss know that I'd prefer not to travel unless absolutely necessary after my first was born. There were several other people in my dept. who wanted to travel so it wasn't an issue. I was willing to take a back seat at work, and maybe not move up as quickly, so I could have more mommy time. Personally, since I am still BF there's no way I would do a 7 day trip. Not sure if you are BF or not, but even though my LO takes bottles when I'm at work, she still nurses the rest of the time. A week of no nursing at all could end that option for you, since nursing is harder than bottles. If AP is really your style, I think you need to communicate that at work. If a lot of traveling is always going to be required, maybe it's time to change employers or your field of work if possible. That's what I did...and became a teacher so I could have a job with benefits but no required travel and summers off with my kids.

GL!

coffeeandbooks · December 2013

thanks, @surpriseaddition, no I am not BFing, but if I was I think that would make this even harder.

My job normally only requires I be away one or two days a month on average which I am ok with....so, knock wood, hopefully this is a one time dilemma.

I am with you that before I had LO I loved to travel for work and there are plenty of people in my department who definitely see these conferences as perks so hopefully it won't be a problem if one of them goes instead of me though technically in it is my responsibility.

snowgirl427 · December 2013

I would be honest with them. I have my first trip in January. I EBF and LO doesn't take a bottle so my mom will bring him back and forth between the office and hotel so I can feed him between meetings. It is costing them an extra night for the hotel but they are supportive. They are also making arrangements for me to have private space to nurse (it's a small office without a mothers room). I had another trip to NY but I'm just calling in for the meeting instead of taking LO. I'm honest with them and they work with me.

Karicomo · December 2013

I went on two 6 day trips in the span of 3 weeks, with thanksgiving week in between. I breastfeed and pump so for the time i just exclusively pumped and brought the milk back home. I have no supply issues 3 weeks later. It was hard being away, but the kids were home with my husband so they were fine. Everyone will be fine! If this is an exception, i would just do this trip but if they started pushing longer trips on u then i would def want to say something.

flyliceandcoffee · December 2013

I would be honest that you don't wan this to become a regular thing, but if it's not the norm, I think your company should be able to send you on a trip if necessary. I just found out that I have to take a trip for my new job in a couple weeks and this will be the first time I'll be away from S aside from going to work every day. I'm definitely freaked out about it because DH has to figure out how to take care of S on his own for almost a week, but we do what we need to do.

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