Feeling like a surrogate.

eg214 · December 2013

Sorry. Need to vent. Today has been one of those emotional roller coaster, disappointing days. I didn't expect to not be "home" for Christmas another year in a row. I chose not to go last year, but this year I didn't go because it was too close to the end of my PG. I miss my family and just am overall bummed out.

Anyway, I am starting to feel like just a womb. I'm sure many of you have felt this way before but with my BD being such an ass...it feels like that even more. Since he wants to be overly involved, but takes no time to ask me how I'm doing, wish me Happy Thanksgiving, Merry Christmas, etc...it feels like I'm just a surrogate...gonna push this baby out and right into his arms with no thanks or sweat off his back. I'm really upset. It's probably hormones, but it's just really upsetting. I don't want to be with him, but a little appreciation would just be nice. I guess the sooner I get it through my head that I will probably never get it the better off I will be. Maybe I just needed a good cry...

MinnesotaMomma91 · December 2013

A good cry will probably help. I never felt like a surrogate, bd asking how ds is would be a hell of a change. And honestly a welcome change from him wanting to be involved in my personal life.

Im sorry your having a rough time

eg214 · December 2013

Thanks. Yeah I know most of the moms on here WISH their BD's would be a part, but mine causes more hell than what it's worth. I just hope for everyone's sake that my daughter loves her dad and has a good relationship with him. Otherwise, all this BS is for nothing.

eg214 · December 2013

And yes, a good little cry helped and a phone call from my dad

20thirteen · December 2013

Aw, sending a cyber hug. My BD sent me texts about gifts for DD the other day but today I have yet to hear from him. Lol. Good thing I wasn't holding my breath.

Much love, girl. I know how it is to be away from family on a holiday

but at least we're here

tig594 · December 2013

I'm a little late but still hoping you're feeling better. It's your life and your womb. Take control, my friend!

eg214 · December 2013

Thanks ladies. I am sitting on pins and needles waiting for my legal aid person to approve me and contact me so I can rest easier. With the holidays it's a mess but going to check in with them at the start of the year. I just need to be assured my ex isn't going to come running through causing a massive disturbance to BG and I's lives. Right now, he's planning on it and trying to be a 50% parent from 800 miles away, which just isn't going to work. It pisses me off he wants all the benefits of being a primary caregiver but from so far. He's an ass and doesn't deserve to just swoop in at the end and reap the rewards. UGH!

cprice0219 · December 2013

I know how hard that can be. I was frequently overlooked by my BD when I was pregnant. I am so lucky to have had my mom right there for me through the whole thing!
I don't know if you can but since you missed this years Christmas with your family maybe try skyping them so you can at least see them. Sometimes that helps! I will keep you in my prayers and I hope your day gets better!

eg214 · December 2013

Thank you!

Yes, normally we try to Skype but they were having issues which is probably one of the reasons I was majorly bummed out. I was really looking forward to seeing them. I was a little worried last year would be my grandmas last Christmas. Thank God she made it to this one, but I was also sad I couldn't be there. I hope she makes it until May when I can bring the baby home to meet my family. Probably just a lot of things adding up making me sad

I'm okay now!

MinnesotaMomma91 · December 2013

Its okay to get the sads! Im really close with my mom but her and my dad live half way across the country and it makes me crazy sad theyve only gotten to see him once, my sister who lives with them hasnt gotten to meet him. I understand totally.

eg214 · December 2013

It's SO HARD @LAMuehlen! For whatever reason, sometimes I wish I could just go over to my dad's and hang out on the couch. I'm SUCH an independent person and moved away because it was no big deal to be away from family, but now that I'm pregnant and almost a mom...I miss my family so much!

MinnesotaMomma91 · December 2013

SStinson1 said:
It's SO HARD @LAMuehlen! For whatever reason, sometimes I wish I could just go over to my dad's and hang out on the couch. I'm SUCH an independent person and moved away because it was no big deal to be away from family, but now that I'm pregnant and almost a mom...I miss my family so much!

I live five minutes from one sister and an hour from another. Most my family is at most an hour but its not the same

eg214 · December 2013

EVERYONE in my family is over 800 miles away. I don't really have friends here either, at least good, solid friends I can count on

I can't move back home either bc BD lives there and that would be an absolute nightmare.

MinnesotaMomma91 · December 2013

SStinson1 said:
EVERYONE in my family is over 800 miles away. I don't really have friends here either, at least good, solid friends I can count on I can't move back home either bc BD lives there and that would be an absolute nightmare.

Totally understand. Bd lives in oregon, my parents, and one of my three sisters, and my best friend is in oregon. I miss my family and my friend but dont want the drama with bd.

Plus, i havent talked to my best friend since right after thanksgiving. She turned off her phone because she had to start back over with aa after her and her fi split due to him getting her to relapse. Sometimes it feels like the only reason im still here is for bf and his ds

Feeling like a surrogate.

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