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Do I say something?

kelly422kelly422 member
in Blended Families
Stepson is staying with us for the week. He's really a good kid and very well behaved and helpful. Only one thing drives me crazy - he plays games on his iPhone or handheld Nintendo NONSTOP. His head is constantly buried in it. When his dad is home, he will make him put it away. His dad doesn't have any "screen time" rules (although I would love to put a time limit on it), but I don't really feel like its my place to say something when I'm alone with him.

Do I just leave it be?
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Re: Do I say something?

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    coopsbabycoopsbaby member
    I would probably ignore it since you just have him for the week, but I'd follow your SO's lead on this. Does he want you to say something? My dh knows that I don't like my dd spending all her time on her phone/ds, so he tells her to stop. But he knows I'll back him up, and dd lives with us fulltime.
       
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    kelly422kelly422 member
    @coopsbaby We actually have him every other weekend for 3-4 days, so we do have him quite a bit.  It drives me crazy every time we have him, but I'm just anticipating it'll be especially noticeable because it's just me and him most of the week except for Christmas Day.  

    I haven't asked DH specifically; I guess I could do that.  :) 
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    coopsbabycoopsbaby member
    Yes, ask him. He may be assuming that you are telling him to get off already. If you have him that much I wouldn't want him sending all of his time vegging out on games.
       
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    fellesferiefellesferie member
    I think when there are rules for the kids, both parents (step or bio) in the house need to agree on it. So in this situation, I would just ask YH if he has a problem with setting a limit on screen time every day. Then work out together what is reasonable. 

    That said, you say he is helpful and well behaved. So I'm assuming he does chores and helps and does what you ask him to. If that's the case, you might not want to micromanage how he spends his 'free' time. If you feel like he's getting too much screen time, maybe plan some things? Go for a walk or find a activity or extracurricular?

    With DS, after school and homework and chores and taekwondo, he seldom has time on weekdays for ANY screen time. So weekends are virtually a free for all.
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    kelly422kelly422 member
    @coopsbaby Agreed. Good idea :) 

    @fellesferie Yeah, I'll ask DH if we can make a set amount of screen time.  He does help me out around the house whenever I ask him to and never complains, so I hate to come off as "nagging".  Maybe if DH and I come up with a plan, then I can just be the enforcer. I do try to have activities planned so we can do at least a few fun things during the days when his dad isn't around.  It gets hard sometimes because I also have a 7 month old daughter, work full-time, and EP which is super time consuming :) Thanks for the ideas!
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    joshsmandyjoshsmandy member
    I agree that both parents in the house need to be on the same page as far as rules go including for video games. What I do to get my SD off her games is come up with outings or even in house activities we can do together. I don't know how old he is or if he likes art at all but there are tons of easy and inexpensive crafts you two could do.
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    WahooWahoo member

    What is the alternative for him playing on the ipod / nintendo?  If you want him to play outside, or read a book, then tell him.  If you want him to make friends in the neighborhood, then invite some over. If you want to do something with him, make plans and do them, and tell him not to bring his phone along. 

    DD knows that when we have plans as a family (including meals, watching television as a family) to put her phone away.  We limit screen time dudring the school week because her schedule is full with school, homework, and activities.  However, I'm not going to tell her "put down the phone and play with some toys," - she's not going to put down the phone and play with barbies - she's too old for that. 

    I'm wondering if SS has limited things to do at your home?  If he is EOWE maybe he doesn't have the social connections to hang with other kids?  If yes, work on building them in your neighborhood.

     

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    +just+j++just+j+ member
    sorry. Your visit is probably almost over, but YES. You say something. Your home. Your time. YOUR RULES. I think it's rude for children and adults to have their head buried in a phone or game and not engage family and friends. Make it a no technology zone from x-z time and stick to it. Engage him in conversation and other things where you actually have to communicate and make eye contact. As a parent and part home owner - you have every rite to speak up and make sure the CHILDREN in your home are behaving according to your house rules.
    "he offered her the world. she said she had her own" - poet Monique Duval
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