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Re: Convo - resolved.
It sounds like you are being uber-sensitive on this issue.
Were jokes and candor supposed to stop once you became visibly pregnant? I've never heard that rule. Is a joke about a newborn drinking or smoking offensive TO the baby? Isn't it just sort of ridiculous?
If you want to have a talk with your boss about it, go for it, but I think how it's going to play out is that he will be confused that the employee who's spent the last 8 months trying to get everyone to understand they don't need to walk on eggshells around her now wants everyone to walk on eggshells around her, and this will scare him and everyone else into getting distant and weird around you.
You are visiably pregnant at 11 weeks? I didn't even tell my boss I was expecting at that time -- and I absolutely would not have told my co-workers at that time.
I think the fact that you have been joking with them for the past 8 months, makes them think that everything/ anything is up for joking. It will be hard to flip a switch and go back to a strictly professional relationship. I don't belive there is a way to tactfully ask them to stop joking with you without completely changing the nature of your relationship with them for the duration of your time there.
My advice is honestly to just not really react to the jokes at all-- don't laugh, but don't make a big deal of it either. I think your non reaction will be enough to maybe stop or lessen these "jokes".
Also, FTR-- when you are pregnant-- lots of people will say dumb/ stupid/ hurtful/ ignorant things. This will also continue to happen when you have a newborn, when you have a toddler and I am sure when you have an older child. You are going to have to get a thicker skin.
BFP 1- EDD 2/09/11 Missed MC DX @11 weeks D&C- 7/25/10 BFP 2- EDD 12/22/11 Natural MC @ 5w 2d BFP 3- EDD 1/25/12 DD Josephine born 1/16/12
I agree with a lot of this.
BFP 1- EDD 2/09/11 Missed MC DX @11 weeks D&C- 7/25/10 BFP 2- EDD 12/22/11 Natural MC @ 5w 2d BFP 3- EDD 1/25/12 DD Josephine born 1/16/12
LOL-- sorry!!
OP-- I made the comment about being visably pregnant at 11 weeks. Lots of women don't tell until they are much further along. And I promise you-- when you are about 35 weeks pregnant-- you will look back at your 12 week pregnant self and LAUGH that you though you looked pregnant at 12 weeks. I promise.
Anyway-- I still stand by my advice. There's no way to tactfully say something to your co workers without changing the nature of your relationships with them. They aren't making comments about your weight-- they are teasing you. That's what co-workers who are friends do. If you want it to stop, ignore it.
Again, you are going to have to get a thicker skin. As you get more pregnant-er, everyone-- not just your co-workers will make comments. You will exhaust yourself if you are constanly on the defensive. Let it go.
As someone more poingnant than me once said-- "motherhood isn't for wimps."
BFP 1- EDD 2/09/11 Missed MC DX @11 weeks D&C- 7/25/10 BFP 2- EDD 12/22/11 Natural MC @ 5w 2d BFP 3- EDD 1/25/12 DD Josephine born 1/16/12
There was nothing snarky in either of my responses. This goes back to me saying you need a thicker skin.
BFP 1- EDD 2/09/11 Missed MC DX @11 weeks D&C- 7/25/10 BFP 2- EDD 12/22/11 Natural MC @ 5w 2d BFP 3- EDD 1/25/12 DD Josephine born 1/16/12
I think you might benefit from a nap.
LOL @ my society. I don't even know what that means.
Good luck with all of that.
BFP 1- EDD 2/09/11 Missed MC DX @11 weeks D&C- 7/25/10 BFP 2- EDD 12/22/11 Natural MC @ 5w 2d BFP 3- EDD 1/25/12 DD Josephine born 1/16/12
This above is your third sentence to your original post. This is why everyone keeps asking WHY all of sudden you are annoyed and surprised by their comments.
And we all know how women get when they are pregnant. They ARE sensitive. We were all pregnant at least once on this board. So we get it. And it's okay to be sensitive about this! The comments about your body are absolutely not appropriate.
Honestly though, due to the nature of the relationship you have created over the past 8 months, I am not sure there is anything you can say without making things awkward. If you choose to confront them, they will never act the same way towards you again. This may not be a big deal, but if you need the relationships to complete your job, I think you need to decide if the repercussions of confronting them are worth it.
Best of luck to you with your job and the rest of your pregnancy.
OP it just seems confusing to people because it one breath you were stating how you have been tolerant of their jokes in the past and how you prefer working with men to women and now are saying that their behavior is completely unacceptable and worthy of some kind of intervention. While I do not think commenting on any person's shape is acceptable it is common for people to make such comments to pregnant people. It sucks but it is the truth. I was guilty of it too before I actually became pregnant! Never again will I make a "oh, you look like you're about to pop!" comment to anyone! I am a nurse and work with mostly women and I still got a ton of awkward comments and was told that I looked either tiny or huge in the same day. People commented on what I ate, how much I ate, etc. The worst was when a female coworker of mine actually said, "well, I have to say I am enjoying watching your a** get wider!" This was coming from a woman who not only had been pregnant before but hadh ad twins so she of all people should know it feels and still she said it.
I am not telling you that you are not justified in feeling uncomfortable with their comments but I am telling you that you are not alone and that the guys probably do not mean anything malicious. Pregnancy is just a sensitive awkward time that happens to be out in the open and some people just do not think about what they are actually saying. I would either ignore it and not justify the comments with any response at all which should get them to stop without too much confrontation or maybe dish it back in the same tone, i.e. "hey tony, how would you feel if I followed you around talking about your beer gut all day?" or even "thanks a lot, now I feel fat, jerk." All of which will make your point without much drama involved. Good luck and hopefully you can make it through the tough beginning and start enjoying the bump!
OP, you got lots of great advice here. It's fine that these comments bother you. The next time they are said, just say, "alright, that's enough," and smile. The guys will get the hint. If you make it any bigger, yes they will rightfully blame your hormones.
Oh, and DDs suck. That's not going to win you any support either.
FWIW, at the end of the day, you will have to develop thicker skin. Not necessarily with your coworkers (because if you don't like it, then they need to stop), but because strangers and family will also have things to say both now, and once your baby is here. It happens. People say stupid sh*t to pg women and moms. You just have to learn to deal.
You want nothing further from people on this thead, yet you keep checking this thread. Right.
So, I would try to see it almost like affectionate if you can, and maybe just go back at them next time someone makes a joke and say I know you're joking and don't mean anything by it but if you could chill with the pregnancy jokes, that would be cool. and leave it at that.
just my .02.
Or that deleting is considered rude, as is telling people to end the thread.
Hold up... you think you've been demonized here??? You're sure proving to everyone that you don't overreact, aren't you..