I need hope for breastfeeding STMs

megs12914 · December 2013

I know we have a thread about breastfeeding help but I just need breastfeeding hope.

I have been pumping like crazy and getting the smallest amount of milk. I mean I pump every three hours for 20 minutes and get 5-10ml from the left breast and 10-15ml from the right. I didn't get anything for a couple days and wasn't able to eat or drink much the first week from pain and stress.

I have tried putting warm compresses on me and massaging my breasts and just started taking fenugreek hardcore yesterday. I have talked to lactation and am trying everything but today is day 11 post c/s and my body is still struggling.

This is super important to me to breastfeed but I am having to mostly formula feed Noah. I just wanted to know if any of you ladies had trouble breastfeeding this long and ended up with a good outcome. Like I said, I need some hope because I'm getting super discouraged. Thanks!

peanutmuse · December 2013

Oh, @megs12914, I am so sorry you're struggling. Of course, I don't have any advice for you being a FTM myself. I just wanted to say something because I can sense your frustration and emotions in your post. Good luck, lady!

thegosiers · December 2013

Ditto @peanutmuse, but I do recall my BF class emphasizing what a small amount of milk the babies need right at first, and therefore the small amount that you produce. The nurse was trying to give reassurance to persevere because a lot of moms give up from this feeling of frustration when it seems like they are not producing enough.
Obviously I'm no expert but I'm sending good vibes your way! Good luck!!!

MrsGraham06 · December 2013

I don't know that I had supply issues, but it took 2 months for DD and my body to make BFing work. It was a combination of latch and supply.

I was told to relax more (I know, difficult...but necessary), drink more water (I felt like my insides were swimming), stay away from dehydrating foods and drinks, all those things we're supposed to do while pregnant.

If you persist, and have some good support, hopefully you'll have a good outcome as well.

Deblondie1 · December 2013

I'm so sorry you're struggling. Are you able to eat and drink enough now? Stress is a huge factor in milk production. If you aren't getting enough calories or are dehydrated it can adversely effect your supply. I succesfully pumped for 5 months with E and it was so very hard the first month. I ate tons of oatmeal, drank Mother's Milk tea, and chugged water 24/7.

Huge hugs to you

megs12914 · December 2013

@Deblondie1 I am for sure eating and drinking better now. I have the tea and am drinking that, too. I can also only breastfeed him once a day in the NICU so he doesn't burn too many calories trying to eat and then be too sleepy to take his bottle. I dropped 15 pounds the first week after I had him and would normally be excited but this is not good with breastfeeding because my calorie intake was obviously horrible. I'm trying to relax I really am!

cja06 · December 2013

@megs12914 I'm so sorry you are having supply issues and feeling frustrated. I had a hard time with my first. He wasn't latching properly and my nipples were bleeding and cracked and sore. I would cry every time I tried to feed him which you know is all the time. DH felt so bad for me. He told me that I could quit and he would totally support me. But I kept at it. Looking back I'm not sure how I found the will. It took about 2-3 weeks, but finally my baby started to get the hang of latching and thanks to help from a nice LC and the use of shields and other tools, it started to click. I didn't have the supply issues like you (all I can say is drink plenty of water), but it can get better if you keep it up. Just know that any amount of breast milk is helpful to Noah. Hang in there if you can find the strength! We are all here to support you!

Jackapatamus · December 2013

While we were in the nicu, I pumped, and I never got more than 2 ounces total. I pumped after every breast feeding. We were there 15 days. One thing I always noticed was if I didn't drink water (tons of it) my supply would decrease, same with eating. Maybe track what you are eating/drinking and compare it to your output. Try not to stress too much! It's not easy and everyone has a different "trick" that works for them!

kteeswei · December 2013

Sending hugs and good boob juju! I struggled with supply when Quinn was in the NICU and think stress was a big factor. Holding him helped some. They supplemented him with donor milk. Now that we are home my supply is good. I get a lot more milk when I average every 2 hours. Since I can't always pump every two I will do once an hour when I have time. Thinking of you!!

megs12914 · December 2013

@KatiesWei That is super helpful to know. I don't want to quit! I think I'll up the pumping to every two hours during the day and every three at night.

ETA I get jealous when I see the milk other NICU moms bring in and I want to cry. I never thought I'd be jealous of someone's breast milk!

Ljessen13 · December 2013

@megs12914. I am sorry honey!!! I know ur frustrated! U are not alone.

. I have been pumping like crazy after my milk came in super late and we had to supplement formula. Right now little one drinks 2 oz every 2 1/2 to 3 hrs. It will milk take me atleast 4 pumping sessions to get that much no would love to say it gets easier but I honestly don't know if it will. Just keep doing what u r doing momma. Like my ped said....some breast milk is better than none. Just do what u can

. Internet hugs

pejay · December 2013

So sorry. I didn't have a NICU stay with my DD1 but did have low milk production in the beginning. For me the mothers milk hot tea really seemed to help increase my milk. It wasn't immediate though-it took probably about a week after I Started drinking it. So there could have been other factors too?!?

Good Luck!!

valigrl21 · December 2013

Sorry megs12914! That's really rough when you want to breastfeed but you are struggling.

I didn't have the same challenges as you, so I am not sure how helpful I can be. But I did have to stay in the hospital an extra day just to work with our LC when I had DD#1. I had to use a nipple shield for a month or so after she was born. And when I went back to work, pumping was a challenge. So I can at least relate a little to what you are going through.

One thing I noticed, was I could always pump so much more in the mornings. I think other women have experienced the same thing, so if at all possible, pump, pump and pump again in the mornings. Maybe even set an alarm for 2 or 3 in the morning to pump.

Here are a few recipes that claim to increase supply. I never tried them the first time around, but intend to this time. https://www.milkandbaby.com/Lactation-Smoothie_b_126.html and https://www.milkandbaby.com/Cractation-Bars-Lactation-Cookie-Recipe_b_116.html.

You mentioned you are trying Fenugreek - I have a friend who really struggled with supply with her first, but added Fenugreek when she had her second - he's almost a year and she still BF-ing him. So I hope that helps you too!

Lastly, some women have a harder time pumping than actually BF-ing, maybe when baby gets out of the NICU, it will get a little easier.

Sending you positive BF-ing vibes that it gets better soon for you! ((hugs))

megs12914 · December 2013

@valigrl21 thanks for the recipes I will use those for sure!

bensmommy518 · December 2013

So sorry you are struggling and I would guess a lot of it may be due to him not able to get on the breast as often as you would like. Babies are way more efficient than even the best pump and you just may not be able to get a lot out with the pump alone. Feed on the breast as much as you are able and ask them if you can have him breast feed while supplementing instead of just in a bottle. (They put the formula in a pouch you hang around your neck and it has a tube you tape to your nipple. While they are breastfeeding, they are getting not only from you but from the pouch of formula.

When you are pumping try to do so while looking at or holding him or a picture/video of him. That always helped me get an extra little bit. Bump up the number of times you pump and make sure every time you pump you drink an entire bottle of water. You would not believe how much water you need when breastfeeding!

Keep working with the lactation consultant and try to stay positive. Remember every drop you give him is a drop he didn't have before. We are all here for you.

megs12914 · December 2013

@AmyG* thank you so much for the advice. I needed some encouragement!

cnwilbur1030 · December 2013

Sorry you're having problems. I didn't have a supply issue with DD, but I did have small pumping amounts at first with her. Along with what previous posters said, I found that watching a video of her while pumping (if she wasn't in the room) helped with let down and let me pump more.

Just to encourage you, I think it's awesome you're doing this for your LO! I know I would be very discouraged and probably would have thrown in the towel. Praying your supply increases!

katstirdivant · December 2013

I'm so sorry for your struggle. I absolutely wanted to BF and latch was so bad DD was spitting up my blood because I was scabbing over. The LC was a complete Godsend and I tell people I nearly proposed to her because of her patience with all of us. See if you can meet with lactation as much as possible. I figured even if my insurance didn't cover it it was still gonna be cheaper than formula in the long run. I wasn't in the NICU so I know that is complicating things for you. I am so sorry.
Sometimes I know ppl said that lookin at your baby or photo of the baby can help you relax and produce more.
I used fenugreek to help me but my cousin also swears by marshmallow root so maybe you could check that out too. I could never stomach the lactation tea, I couldn't handle the taste.
Just keep telling yourself one more feeding, one more feeding. It will get better, I promise!!!!!!!

[Deleted User] · December 2013

Meg's, I just went through this myself a month ago. I know the level of frustration. It's one of many things I couldn't control about my body. I tried everything possible to produce more milk but I think with factors like early delivery, general anesthesia and the stress of having a NICU baby, it just didnt work out. My body refused to make more than 10 ml every time I pumped.

The suggestions here are helpful and I would try to go to a lac specialist (2nd opinion?). I went to two separate ones and I thought the second one had a lot more helpful tips. At the end, I stopped pumping because it was upsetting me too much and hurting. I'm ok with it looking back on that decision. Don't feel guilty that you have to keep going, if you can't. Jacob is doing great things on formula.

megs12914 · December 2013

@Kvochka It is crazy that we seem to have a super similar situation. Everything you said is exactly what has been going on with me.

It does hurt A LOT. I know that some breast milk is better than none but I will give it one more week (about 3 weeks total) and probably stop. I am going to go balls to the wall this week and try EVERYTHING and if things don't change I just can't anymore. I feel like my body just keeps letting me down with this pregnancy and I honestly didn't think I would be having to worry about this, too.

[Deleted User] · December 2013

@megs12914 don't feel guilty if you can't do it, clearly our bodies have different plans. I feel ok with my decision to stop, I know I tried everything, including reglan (prescription to get the milk to come in). Nothing worked, I drank tea, ate oatmeal, took fenugreek, lactation cookies, honey and one day I even drank boiled water and rice (yuck, wtf was I thinking). I even rented a pump that was insanely expensive. Nothing, nothing worked. Can you tell I'm still bitter about it?

I do have to say that my bonding time with Jacob hasn't been affected at all by this decision. In fact, I think it has improved because I can spend more time with him. Secretly, I'm also looking forward to DH waking up with the baby to give him the bottle in the middle of the night. No boobies required (I'm taking solace where I can get it).

Good luck and I'm giving you some virtual hugs.

worleygirl · December 2013

No experience with NICU but I did have a hard time in the beginning. I'm bumping from mobile so sorry if choppy. Oatmeal for breakfast plus additional fiber where you can. Chug water. Drink it like it is your job. Fenugreek can help. If you are ok with it, a heavy dark beer (sipped on, not chugged) can bring on initial supply. Breast massage before pumping (google) is highly recommended. Pump every 90 mins or so if you can to try to get supply and demand up. I really feel for you with everything you have going on. I struggled for first 2 weeks or so and it consumed my thoughts and was just so miserable. Just try to keep in mind that if it doesn't work out that is ok too. Having a baby in the NICU wasn't in your plans and that might mean your BF-ing plans have to change too. Take care.

MissSusieQ · December 2013

One thing I would do when I pumped was look at pictures of DS. It really seemed to help me produce more. I'm not really sure y, but it did an I remember my LC telling me this. Can you have some video your time with LO and maybe watch that too. Also continue to push the fluids! Remember no matter what, you are doing why is best for you and LO. Breast feeding is not easy and it's hard and stressful in the beginning. Take a deep breath, hugs to you mama!

last14real · December 2013

@megs12914 I don't have any other suggestions than what these ladies have said, but I'm sending thoughts and prayers that things get better for you soon. Just know that you are trying and that is all you can do. Do not get down on yourself you are doing great! I hope your supply increases, but like Kvochka said if it doesn't it will not alter your bond with your baby. That baby loves you regardless if you breast or formula feed!

Cara1024 · December 2013

I came across this recently and found it encouraging regarding how little they can even consume in the very beginning. Hope this helps friend.

erika_sue · December 2013

It took three weeks for everything to go well with DS. He wasn't gaining weight and we both had painful thrush which affected his latch and my supply. My LC recommended nursing every two hours during the day, then pumping and supplementing after every feed. I generally had someone else do the supplementing while I pumped to save some time. Then in the evenings when he went down for his first stretch of sleep, I did a power pump right after his feeding. I also ate a lot of oatmeal and took fenugreek and blessed thistle. It was HARD. Like, the hardest thing I've ever done, but we went on to breastfeed for 14 months.

MamaP19 · December 2013

megs12914 said:

@Kvochka It is crazy that we seem to have a super similar situation. Everything you said is exactly what has been going on with me. It does hurt A LOT. I know that some breast milk is better than none but I will give it one more week (about 3 weeks total) and probably stop. I am going to go balls to the wall this week and try EVERYTHING and if things don't change I just can't anymore. I feel like my body just keeps letting me down with this pregnancy and I honestly didn't think I would be having to worry about this, too.

Oh, @megs12914. I said this exact thing after having DD. I was so upset that my body never went into labor. My placenta was degrading at 42w and had no fluid for her. I hated being induced and ending up with a c/s. I never thought I would struggle so much with BFing too because I wanted to so desperately. My milk just never came in. I don't know if it was because of the stress or because I had a really hard time getting myself to eat and drink enough. I tried fenugreek and mother's milk tea and was only able to get about as much as you though I pumped constantly. I sobbed in the Ped's office when she told me to start supplementing. I tried for 3 weeks and eventually gave up. It was too much emotionally for me to handle. DD switched exclusively to formula at that point. I know I'm not the "success" story you're looking for.. just want you to know that you're not alone! It took a few months for me not to feel judged and like a failure every time I made DD a bottle, but eventually I got over it. Know that if you end up choosing to go that route you are not admitting defeat or failing - you are doing what is best for you and your LO.

megs12914 · December 2013

@MamaP19 I'm sorry you went through that. Thank you for sharing with me though. Success or not at least I'm not alone!

rowanthefrog · December 2013

Big hugs. Just remember that the nutritional needs of a newborn are so little! Something like 1 TB every 2-3 hours, their tummies are tiny. Here's a link to tell you how big their tummies actually are!

https://tumblon.com/somethingtochewon/55/sizing-up-your-newborn-s-stomach

Just keep pumping, every oz that you get is a gift and hopefully as he gets bigger and can nurse better your supply will increase. Don't give up, you can do this!

A

rowanthefrog · December 2013

Here's the visual aid! I knew I had seen it somewhere!

SarahA918 · December 2013

My baby is still in the NICU (over 8 weeks now) and the amount I pumped at first sucked but it was always enough to give him what he needed. I think a lot of it is psychological because as soon as they'd up his feeds, is make more milk each time I pumped.

I wasn't able to do kangaroo care with him because he was on a ventilator for a long time and then as soon as I was able to hold him, he only wanted to and still only wants to be swaddled.

Looking at pictures didn't help so I started focusing on my boobs and really pressing and pushing on them to get more milk out. That worked great. Then one time I got distracted and didn't push on them and when I looked down I had tons of milk. Now I let them go on their own for about 15 minutes while I catch up with texts and email and them once the milk stops flowing on it's own, I push on them for the next 15 minutes to get the rest out. I always let them pump go for the full 30 minutes even if milk stops flowing just to let my boobs know they need to make more te next time.

I've steadily increased my supply and now have an over supply. I freeze and store at home what I pump at home and only bring in fresh milk I pump at work and I pump in the evenings and night at the hospital so he always has enough for the day.

Definitely keep going!

WinsyWade · December 2013

Breast feeding and pumping is hard work! Just give yourself small goals. I didn't know that with my first and I was so overwhelmed. Give yourself a goal of today, then two days, then a week, etc. I found the first 6 weeks were the hardest (with my 2nd baby) and after that it got much easier. Whatever you can give Noah is good - whether it is 2 weeks if BM or 6+ months!

If you are very interested in human milk rather than formula, you can give Noah donated milk (either from a milk bank or mom-to-mom) too. Look into a lactation group at your hospital. You may be able to connect with moms who have had the same struggles as you within that group. You may also find support in an Attachment Parenting group (I am part of one for my city on FB). There's other FB groups made to help BF'ing moms- mine is called Breastfeed, Chicago!

Use all the support outlets you can!

You can do it!

Also, I know I was interested in an SNS (supplementing tubing that runs to your nipple with either formula or pumped/donated milk) if I had trouble BF'ing my 2nd. If Noah is having trouble at the breast, ask about this system to get him more interested. I didn't know about it with my first and I think it would have helped since he was a lazy eater.

ChuggingWater · December 2013

Hang in there. I'm didn't BF after the hospital with DS1, so no advice.

sept9107bride · December 2013

First off, major props to you to keep up with the pumping! I BF DS1 and it took a full month for us to get the swing of things...DS2 was in the NICU for a few weeks and I know if I had to pump if he had been my first I don't know if I would have stuck with it.

You are doing great! At first, you really truly don't get that much. I remember handing the NICU nurses bottles with barely an ounce in it. My best advice...drink MASSIVE water. I once had the flu and couldn't pump/BF for 2 days I was so sick. I drank an ENORMOUS Gatorade and was able to bounce back. A good tip is always try to drink a full bottle of water while you are pumping...so you know you are making time to get the fluids in you. Other than that, just stick with it. Looking at pics of your LO (I've even listened to recordings of DS crying) will help you to relax and focus. I know it is super hard, but you can do it

Cheerbuddyloves her hubby · December 2013

Domperidone. I had the worst time breast feeding. It's in my blog somewhere. Cheerbuddy.blogspot.com I have lots of advice and personal experience on that subject. Phew. I had my lactation consultant on speed dial. I did power pumping, mothers milk tea, lactation cookies, domperidone, milk plus, fenugreek, blessed thistle, you name it. Added brewers yeast to everything.

BShreeve · December 2013

Do any of you know... Is there any value to eating oatmeal, fenugreek, mothers milk tea etc in the days leading up to labor? I'm 39 wks, 2 days and thinking I'd try and jump start things if it helps.

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