Am I doing the right things w/ LO daily?

Hopeful1981 · December 2013

I have some questions about what to do with LO throughout the day. I am a FTM and don't know anyone who has children so I have no exposure to this. Not only am I a SAHM, but I also work from home during the day. So during the day I juggle taking care of LO and meeting his needs, working (which entails emails, document review/preparation, conference calls, etc.) and trying to shower and put clothes on and get a few things done around the house (laundry, eat lunch, pick up clutter, etc.). Some days it is exhausting and stressful and other days I am not so busy with work so it isn't so bad. But now that LO is getting older, becoming more mobile and more vocal, and needing more stimulation and attention, I am starting to wonder if I can continue to meet his daily needs. DH is vehemently against daycare while I am more open to it. I do go in to the office for two 1/2 days a week and my mom watches LO during this time.

So my question is--what do you do with LO during the day? Other than feeding, changing diapers, and napping. I regularly sing and talk to LO, read him books, do tummy time, put him on his activity mat, give him toys to play with, and let him watch small segments of baby first tv (I restrict his tv time, I do not plunk him down in front of the tv all day). But there are times during the day when I just can't interact with him and he entertains himself with his toys. Is this okay? Or would he be better of being taken care of during the day by someone else?

Murphie82 · December 2013

I'm with pp that independent play is a good thing and an important part of your LO's development so I wouldn't worry too much about letting him play on his own for periods of time. (Obviously your LO is in control of when and for how long he wants to play on his own.)

I work from home as well, but my job is a bit more structured than yours sounds so I can't care for LO and work. MH is basically a SAHD so he watches LO while I work. You may want to consider getting a nanny or daycare especially when your LO becomes more mobile. I can't imagine trying to do both with a baby that can crawl/walk.

momofcatan · December 2013

From what you said it sounds like everything is going great. If LO is happy and you don't feel overwhelmed I wouldn't worry. In my community some high school/university students will offer to be "mothers helpers". They are basically babysitter while you are home. They help with kids and do light housework. Not a real nanny but you can also pay them less. Not sure if you know anyone who can do that a couple hours a week.

ASmallWonder · December 2013

I'm going to be honest - you're trying to do too much all at the same time. No one can be a stay at home mom who works and maintains the house all in the same 8 hour work day. It's easier when they're little but as the babies get older they need interaction and supervision and your job obviously expects you do be productive since they're paying you

Daycare or a helper is likely to become necessary. At the very least, you need to not kill yourself cleaning and doing laundry in those same hours and push that stuff to the evenings and weekends or you're going to burn out!

WasNotWas · December 2013

Why is your DH against daycare? I can perhaps help jump start that conversation if you let me know what he thinks is bad about it (heck, I can have my Spanish speaking, sign language communicating, pledge of allegiance knowing, sharing and caring, friggin adorable 2.5 year old show him!)

TheyCalledHerKate · December 2013

I agree you need some kind of outside help. Babies get a lot of great socialization at daycare and I think that's really positive. If not daycare then perhaps a mothers helper like you suggested. I definitely couldn't do my job while taking care of my baby and maintaining the house.

CindyRelluh · December 2013

Gosh my 2.5 year old loves independent play, and I've seen her thrive a lot from it! She is extremely smart (didn't get it from me). When she wants me to play, we draw, read, dance, bake, or just make a mess! With my little guy, I let him roll around me on the floor, put him in his Jumperoo, let him play with toys in his highchair or sit him in my lap and let him play with some toys.

Don't feel like you have to entertain your kiddo 25/8, because they do benefit from independent learning and discovering things on their own.

TheyCalledHerKate · December 2013

sctiger said:
Why is your H against daycare? My LO is doing great in daycare. The socialization is great and she is learning so much by being around other babies. I hate when people act like daycare is the devil. I don't know how anyone is productive at work while taking care of a baby. You may be able to balance it now, but at some point my guess is that either the baby or your work will suffer because you are trying to do it all yourself.

Agree with this. Most companies make workers who WFH sign a contract and prove that they have childcare for their child when they are working. They are paying you to do your job not to care for your child, which takes a lot of time and energy.

Hopeful1981 · December 2013

I agree with all pp comments, the WFH has been going fine when LO was not mobile and was content sitting with me or next to me playing with his toys or on his mat. But I do want him to have that stimulation and activity and socialization that daycare provides. It is hard because my job is so flexible. Some days are busier than others; I have called a KinderCare center that is literally right at our closest intersection to find out about 1-2 partial days a week--they told me I would need to bring LO in at the same times and same days every week, that they couldn't do a flexible schedule. Which of course I completely understand.

I had an ex boyfriend whose niece and nephew were in DC and they loved it and were thriving, it was great to see such positive feedback. I actually brought up DC to DH a couple nights ago since LO is on the verge of crawling and I am like, wtf am I going to do once he is mobile, and DH is still so against it. He doesn't want "strangers" taking care of our child. He cannot see (or doesn't want to see) the positive aspects of daycare. He told me LO can go to daycare as soon as he can tell us if someone hurt him or ignored him. DH says that he will adjust his schedule to be home more if I need help (he owns his own business), which I don't know if that is very feasible because he is very busy with work. @wasnot was and @sctiger, how do I open his mind up more about DC?

@violet1183, yes I do have flexibility and could be available in emergencies. We tried a nanny once, the person who cleans our house also nannies. It didn't work out--she basically wanted to sit and talk to me the whole time. And then if I have a slow day, it is almost like there is no point to having her there because I want to be caring for and interacting with LO myself, without someone else there.

@TheyCalledHerKate, I agree with this however my situation is a little different. I am an attorney and do transactional legal work, my company set me up with a home office when I got pregnant with the understanding I would work mostly from home. I never took a real maternity leave since I just transitioned into doing my work from here. Everyone is very happy with my work output at this point. Do I put in a full 8 hour 9-5 day every day? No. But everything gets done somehow, whether I wake up early and work before LO wakes up or I work late at night or on the weekends. It just somehow works. As long as everything is getting done, my bosses don't really care. Also, my dad is one of the owners of the company I work for (though he is not really my direct boss that I work with the most) so you know I have a little bit of leeway because of that.

WasNotWas · December 2013

Everything @sctiger said. None of our daycare teachers are strangers. I know about their lives and their families because I spent/spend a lot of time at drop off and pick up getting to know them. You have to feel comfortable with your daycare provider. Just because your cleaning lady nanny didn't work, doesn't mean a different person as a nanny wouldn't work.

At what age does he think your LO will rat out their teacher? Bradley is a very vocal 2.5 year old and I don't know that he would tell on his teachers. And even if he did he is approaching an age where kids fib all the time. I couldn't imagine trying to work at home while taking care of a 2 year old.

I would ask him, specifically at what age he would feel comfortable letting a child care professional take care of your child and work from there

kmkaull2 · December 2013

I am a SAHM mom now, but I taught until my son was 2. We weren't comfortable with a daycare center, so we went with a small in home daycare. DS had a ton of 1:1 attention, a few other kids to play with, and lots of great stimulation. It worked out perfectly for us. Home daycare may be more flexible in terms of scheduling as well.

Of course, you have to be incredibly diligent when checking out any daycare. Word of mouth is a great resource.

I get where your DH is coming from. It is hard to see the benefit of your little baby going into a daycare setting. But it won't be long when your LO will start to want more socialization. They become little independent people and start to enjoy being away from you a bit.

cafecreme · December 2013

Hopeful1981 said:

I have some questions about what to do with LO throughout the day. I am a FTM and don't know anyone who has children so I have no exposure to this. Not only am I a SAHM, but I also work from home during the day. So during the day I juggle taking care of LO and meeting his needs, working (which entails emails, document review/preparation, conference calls, etc.) and trying to shower and put clothes on and get a few things done around the house (laundry, eat lunch, pick up clutter, etc.). Some days it is exhausting and stressful and other days I am not so busy with work so it isn't so bad. But now that LO is getting older, becoming more mobile and more vocal, and needing more stimulation and attention, I am starting to wonder if I can continue to meet his daily needs. DH is vehemently against daycare while I am more open to it. I do go in to the office for two 1/2 days a week and my mom watches LO during this time.

So my question is--what do you do with LO during the day? Other than feeding, changing diapers, and napping. I regularly sing and talk to LO, read him books, do tummy time, put him on his activity mat, give him toys to play with, and let him watch small segments of baby first tv (I restrict his tv time, I do not plunk him down in front of the tv all day). But there are times during the day when I just can't interact with him and he entertains himself with his toys. Is this okay? Or would he be better of being taken care of during the day by someone else?

It sounds like your doing everything right. I think our LO's are a little too young for gym time. I enrolled C a few weeks ago, and shes way over stimulated, and plus its right around her nap time.

We did storytime at our local library, and that's been going good. There's also 1-2 meet ups a month with other moms and babies in the area, so she gets social time then too.

She really is content just being on her tummy, playing with her toys, and crawling around the house to chase our cat. lol

Want a personalized experience?

Am I doing the right things w/ LO daily?

Re: Am I doing the right things w/ LO daily?

#Bodymber14 #Bodygate #itsMillerTime

Bradley 05-04-11 & Tyler 06-18-13

#Bodymber14 #Bodygate #itsMillerTime

Bradley 05-04-11 & Tyler 06-18-13

Choose Another Board

Search Boards