GTKY: H/SO Edition

JordynLeighx3 · December 2013

Skidderdo and Sol's post about H's acting crappy prompted me to do a GTKY all about the SO's in our lives. I feel like we all have those moments and most of us left still posting here seem to be pretty open and honest so,

1. How long have ya'll been together?

2. What's the biggest thing you argue over?

3. Do you have any specific topics that are completely opposite on how you want to raise LO/s?

4. What does your SO do that you value most?

5. What do they do that makes you want to tear you hair out?

6. What does he do for a living?

7. Did you expect your SO to be the type of parent that they've grown to be?

JordynLeighx3 · December 2013

1. How long have ya'll been together?
-together 9 years in August, married 2 years in August.

2. What's the biggest thing you argue over?
-money and who is pulling the most weight

3. Do you have any specific topics that are completely opposite on how you want to raise LO/s?
-none that really come to mind. Though he does find it totally appropriate to argue in front of them because "he was raised around it and turned out okay" though I was raised where my mom was always treated like a queen and I never saw my dad argue with her in front of us kids.

4. What does your SO do that you value most?
-I appreciate anything that he does that I don't have to ask him to do. It's always more appreciated when he just takes initiative. He has claimed always loading and unloading the dishwasher, and always shovels the driveway and mows the lawn. I would be a very sad/cranky wife if I were in charge of these things.

5. What do they do that makes you want to tear you hair out?
-lately, nearly everything. He is still a big ole mommas boy and his parents totally take advantage of him. It bothers me when he doesn't stand up to them when they're in the wrong.

6. What does he do for a living?
-journeyman for an HVAC company/in process of becoming a contractor

7. Did you expect your SO to be the type of parent that they've grown to be?
-this is a tough one. Honestly, there are some areas where I thought he'd be a lot different (better) that he isn't so awesome at and vice versa. I expected him to do as I had to and do a little more research but I feel like if he had to spend an entire week alone without being able to use anybody as a reference...he would be really lost.
Though I'm surprised at how well he interacts with the girls. I guess I assumed his bond would be a little altered because they are girls and that's not really his area of expertise but he loves making them laugh when he plays with their baby dolls

jaime52005 · December 2013

1. How long have ya'll been together?
8+ years

2. What's the biggest thing you argue over? Money and me asking him to do something and he does it DAYS later

3. Do you have any specific topics that are completely opposite on how you want to raise LO/s? Not yet

4. What does your SO do that you value most? He always surprises me

5. What do they do that makes you want to tear you hair out? Just like PP..almost everything these days but especially when he doesn't clean out sink after brushing teeth and shaving!

6. What does he do for a living? Corrections officer for 10 years now

7. Did you expect your SO to be the type of parent that they've grown to be? I always new he would be a good parent but very surprised (in a good way) with how he is with Ella . He always wanted a boy so I didn't expect him to be all mushy the way he is with her but he says after having her he will have 10 girls! ( I told him no more than 3 kids )

*** as crazy as he makes me and as much as I want to throat punch him..I love him and couldn't imagine my life without him. He loves all the craziness I put him through so I will do the same***

farmerpinky · December 2013

1. How long have ya'll been together?

Together 16 yrs, married 14.

2. What's the biggest thing you argue over?

Messiness. My van is a wreck and the house is cluttered (not filthy. Cluttered. 6 people in a 3 br ranch).

3. Do you have any specific topics that are completely opposite on how you want to raise LO/s?

He allows movies that I wouldn't. He has no issues with allowing the bigs to watch action movies that are violent.

He is a shouty person. When he gets upset he yells. I don't like yelling. I prefer to parent calmly.

4. What does your SO do that you value most?

He is the empathetic, booboo kissing one. He makes up for my shortcomings. Example: DS2 cut leg after doing something he was told not to do. My reaction was to clean up the blood and tend the wound while explaining exactly what preventable behavior led to the injury. H reaction was to stroke hair and tell me to shut up. Then proceeded to keep child calm while I cleaned and tended the wound.

5. What do they do that makes you want to tear you hair out?

He interrupts me all the time. For as much as he makes others feel valued, he sucks at it with me. I've pretty much given up talking to him about my day/ hopes/ dreams/ feelings because it just triggers a discussion pivot to something about his stuff.

6. What does he do for a living?

Praise & worship leader at our church and photographer/ digital artist. He is also pursuing a BFA in digital art & design.

7. Did you expect your SO to be the type of parent that they've grown to be?

When we 1st had my oldest I had no clue. We were barely 20. He is an amazing dad.

ClandestineX · December 2013

1. How long have ya'll been together?

-Living together for almost 5 years. Married for 1.

2. What's the biggest thing you argue over?

-Our short tempers, his negative attitude.

3. Do you have any specific topics that are completely opposite on how you want to raise LO/s?

-Nothing serious. We both don't want Connor to be addicted to electronics like most kids, but he lets Connor "Do work" on his computer all the time when he is here. The only time Connor is in front of mine is for Skype... Connor absolutely loves laptops.

4. What does your SO do that you value most?

-He supports me and has told me that he would get three jobs just so I didn't have to do anything, it is a nice gesture.. I would not let him do it though.

5. What do they do that makes you want to tear you hair out?

-His anger issue. It has almost been the end of us a few times.. it is because he has to be angry at his rig hands all day every day and he says he can't just turn it off.. but he tries. According to his mother I saved him because he was 1000 times nastier/meaner than he was before he met me due to what happened in his past.

6. What does he do for a living?

-He works on a natural gas rig. Driller.

7. Did you expect your SO to be the type of parent that they've grown to be?

-He is doing well considering we are polar opposites of how we grew up. He grew up in a very traditional setting whereas I grew up with only single mothers around me (or if there was a guy around he was lazy and not working).

Aprilbaby49 · December 2013

1. How long have ya'll been together?

12 years on dec 28th

2. What's the biggest thing you argue over?

Probably money. My shopping/spending habits vs saving for a house

3. Do you have any specific topics that are completely opposite on how you want to raise LO/s? Haven't disagreed yet but i'm sure we'll find something when he gets older

4. What does your SO do that you value most?

It's the little things he does everyday. Before Noah, he would drive me back and forth to work (into NYC). Massages when I'm sick or not feeling well. He wants nothing but the best for us. He would sacrifice his own well being in order to make sure that we're safe and happy. If I am sick or when I was pregnant, he took care of everything so that I wouldn't have to lift a finger around the house.

5. What do they do that makes you want to tear you hair out?

Now the Noah's around, the lack of household chores on his end. He does do the laundry and dishes but he won't do a general clean up of toys at the end of the day. My living room feels like an obstacle course unless I pick up after him.

6. What does he do for a living?

He is basically a SAHD. He does work from home for our family business. His hours are flexible but lacking so mostly he takes care of Noah (which works out for us).

7. Did you expect your SO to be the type of parent that they've grown to be?

No, he is much more amazing than I'd thought he'd be. We were 19 when we met and he didn't seem interested in having children until the past couple of years which is normal for men I guess. I knew he'd be involved but not to this extent. He knows Noah inside and out. He is actually more of the anxious and overprotective parent than I thought he'd be.

arschm02 · December 2013

1. How long have ya'll been together? - Together 4 years in March, married 2 years in June.

2. What's the biggest thing you argue over? -little things-- time spent with each other, his change-in-a-flash attitude (one minute he's super happy and the next he can be super crabby)

3. Do you have any specific topics that are completely opposite on how you want to raise LO/s? - Not really, thank goodness.

4. What does your SO do that you value most? -He makes significantly more money than I do. It is so nice when we go out to eat or buy something and he just picks up the tab (we chose nit to have a joint account for several reasons). I always feel bad because I feel like I'm not contributing but he always reassures me when I thank him for buying dinner with a comment like, "Of course, I wouldn't have let you pay even if you tried." His hard work also pays for our health insurance and mortgage. It may seem superficial, but it leaves me not worrying about the financial situation of our family and to me that is absolutely amazing. Also, he's an awesome dad to our little man.

5. What do they do that makes you want to tear you hair out? - he demands the attention of a child some times. He will sit there and say, "Rose, Rose, Rose, etc." until I answer (he calls me by my middle name half the time). That is one of the few examples.

6. What does he do for a living? - bartender

7. Did you expect your SO to be the type of parent that they've grown to be? For the most part he is more awesome than I ever expected. On the other hand he always wants to go fishing on his days off (if it's a weekday he has yo watch LO instead). I don't understand that as much. Here and there, sure. But for the most part, if I have a day off, I want to spend it with little man.

MrsHartman7 · December 2013

1. How long have ya'll been together?

10 years married for 6.5 years

2. What's the biggest thing you argue over?

Usually an argument will erupt over something stupid, but when we have the airing of the grievances it usually boils down to both of us feeling like we are pulling more of the weight than the other.

3. Do you have any specific topics that are completely opposite on how you want to raise LO/s?

Not really, we are mostly on the same page.

4. What does your SO do that you value most?

On his days off he has Fin so we only need part time daycare, which not only saves a lot of money but alleviates a lot of my guilt for working full time.

5. What do they do that makes you want to tear you hair out?

He has terrible time management/multi tasking skills! He will have a list of errands and only get 2 done because he dilly dallies around the house or doesnt use his time efficiently. Drives me bananas.

6. What does he do for a living?

Firefighter

7. Did you expect your SO to be the type of parent that they've grown to be?

He's fantastic. Neither of us had any experience with kids, so we're very learn as you go in terms of technical skills, but I know he loves that baby more than anything else in the world.

tondraluv · December 2013

1. How long have ya'll been together? 10 years but will be married 4 (in April) 2. What's the biggest thing you argue over? Household duties 3. Do you have any specific topics that are completely opposite on how you want to raise LO/s? Soothing Brayden, he thinks I'm too soft 4. What does your SO do that you value most? He's here for Brayden. He also has days where he is fully responsible for Brayden in terms of getting him ready for the sitter. 5. What do they do that makes you want to tear you hair out? He is always on his phone 6. What does he do for a living? He's in Retail Management 7. Did you expect your SO to be the type of parent that they've grown to be? Not at all, he didn't have the best father figure & we also had problems during my pregnancy. He is way more present and hands on than I expected him to be.

Lhyacinth888 · December 2013

1. How long have ya'll been together? Together 8 1/2 years. Married a little over 5 years.

2. What's the biggest thing you argue over? Stupid little things- nothing big usually. I don't take little things seriously enough for him and am easy to just forget about little arguments where he dwells over them and takes that as me not caring. I live in a "life is too short why sweat the small stuff" world and he takes that as me not caring and me dismissing his feelings and opinions .

3. Do you have any specific topics that are completely opposite on how you want to raise LO/s? No, not yet but they are still young!

4. What does your SO do that you value most? Works hard so I can SAH with the kids while they are little. He also drives on most of the long trips which I really appreciate.

5. What do they do that makes you want to tear you hair out? He thinks that because I am a SAHM I should be picking up after him- throws his clothes on the floor, never puts things back, etc. Drives me crazy! And he is always late!

6. What does he do for a living? Retail manager

7. Did you expect your SO to be the type of parent that they've grown to be? He's pretty awesome but has a temper at times. I figured he'd be a good dad but didn't expect the temper though he has always had it since I met him.

ceamac0127 · December 2013

1. How long have ya'll been together? 5 years - married 2 years next month

2. What's the biggest thing you argue over? dolla dolla bills

3. Do you have any specific topics that are completely opposite on how you want to raise LO/s? I am religious and H is not and he has a skewed perception of what religion really is and how we will teach LO about it. After a long discussion after Christmas eve service he finally agreed that he will let me handle the religion discussions since it is something I am passionate about

4. What does your SO do that you value most? He is so great about making sure I get 'me' time. He is constantly encouraging me to get a massage, go to the movies, go out with my friends etc. and after hearing about some other people's SO/H - I have realized that is pretty rare and I make sure I don't take it for granted

5. What do they do that makes you want to tear you hair out? He pushes my buttons ON PURPOSE! He admits to doing it because he thinks its funny and it drives me nuts

6. What does he do for a living? He is a freight broker

7. Did you expect your SO to be the type of parent that they've grown to be? Yes, and so much more. My H has wanted to be a father his whole life so I always knew he would be great

Meggs2559 · December 2013

JordynLeighx3 said:
Skidderdo and Sol's post about H's acting crappy prompted me to do a GTKY all about the SO's in our lives. I feel like we all have those moments and most of us left still posting here seem to be pretty open and honest so,

1. How long have ya'll been together?
We've been together "dating" 7.5 years or so, but we've been best friends for about 12 years. Everyone said "finally!" when we got together. Married 2.5 years.

2. What's the biggest thing you argue over?
We have OCD about very different things. He also has a type A personality which can drive me crazy sometimes. He is hot headed and can get frustrated over the littlest things. That's probably what I argue most about with him...his inability to take a breath sometimes!

3. Do you have any specific topics that are completely opposite on how you want to raise LO/s?
Nothing too different yet. He is definitely more relaxed with LO than I am.

4. What does your SO do that you value most?
He does a lot around the house without me asking. If the laundry is filled up, he will put it in. If the garbage is full, he will take it out. He is very, very helpful. He will do anything I need help with or ask him to do. He also cooks dinner most nights which is awesome.

5. What do they do that makes you want to tear your hair out?
He is always on his phone. Sometimes we will be out to dinner with family and he will sit on his phone. It annoys the crap out of me!!!!! Meanwhile, he always says that he will never let LO learn to be entertained by an iPad at a restaurant...that he wants him to learn to sit and interact, yet it's almost like the same thing!!!

6. What does he do for a living?
He is a mechanical engineer.

7. Did you expect your SO to be the type of parent that they've grown to be?
I'm blown away at how good of a father he is. I knew he would be a good father, but he is just so wonderful with LO. He used to joke and say he would never change diapers, but that has never been an issue (I would have never allowed it anyway!!). He has 0 experience with babies, yet he's doing such a great job. This has also helped him be more comfortable around other people's babies.

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