Awkward moment with MIL this Christmas

BlessedinMN · December 2013

So I could not be more proud of DH. His mom is terrible with infants yet insists on holding DS non-stop when we are over there. There is always this bizarre tension whenever I need to breastfeed - it is almost as if she purposely never wants me holding my son while we are there. If she needs a break or needs to do something else she will offer him to everyone else in the room except me and if no one else can take him she will just hold on to him. It's caused some problems as my DH has always had a hard time putting his foot down with his mother - he's a very sweet "I don't want to step on any toes" sort of a guy.

Well yesterday I think he had finally seen enough. Not only had my MIL gotten completely out of hand and dangerous (she was trying to take stuff out of the oven with my son in her arms?!) she tried to stop us from feeding him while he was screaming his head off! He was doing his unmistakable "I am hungry cry" (after he woke from a 2.5 hour nap) and she was flat out refusing to give him to us saying "he'll be fine!" My DH totally lost it. It was awesome. He said everything I've ever wanted to say and then some. Love that man. Hopefully all your MIL's behaved this Christmas.

lnreynol · December 2013

I also thought the same maybe she thinks she is helping you out

Princess_Lily · December 2013

Maybe she is trying to help, but its coming out awkward.

I'm not understanding how she becomes the primary holder in the first place though.

PeachsMama · December 2013

My mil and FIL are the same way. They seem to think they can rock away hunger! I was in tears yesterday by the time we left. They refuse to let him sleep. They want him awake the whole time. Well he's a month old! He can't be up for 5 hours at a time! He was so over tired it took me two hours to get him to sleep! Everytime he fusses or cries mil takes him from whoever has him! Even if it's me!

Littlemama01 · December 2013

Omg I Hate that too, my MIL wants to hold him forever and then he falls asleep and she still won't put him down. When he fusses in his sleep she wakes him...it makes me want to murder her. Yesterday was a lot of stimulation for the LO, nephews talking to him, constant holding, lots of noise and my LO basically didn't nap, so when we got home I put him in his bassinet, quiet, no stimulation to let him just chill. She immediately went over (shes staying with us till new years) and started waving a toy In his face and baby talking to him. I had to tell her to stop stimulating him. Luckily I managed to get it out without being too angry. Seriously how stupid can you be. I can't believe anyone in their right mind would take something out of the oven with a a baby in their arms. Good for your H for saying something..I wish mine would.

cagoldi · December 2013

Princess_Lily said:

I'm not understanding how she becomes the primary holder in the first place though.

This. When my MIL wants the baby and I need to hold him so he can eat, get changed, just mellow out, etc. I tell her she can hold him later. She gets pissed but that's the way it is.

She's actually said "bring me my baby." Um, nope, he's my baby and I'm not letting you hold him when he needs something from me at the moment.

YummeeCookee · December 2013

Ugh, sounds similar to my MIL. She would constantly be trying to hold my DD, who would be screaming her head off, hungry. MIL would be so reluctant to want to give her to me, as if she was going to get her to stop crying. Thank God I am breastfeeding or else I prolly wouldve never gotten DD back.

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