Christmas "Safe Space" Open For Your Venting Pleasure All Week Long!

MJM3108 · December 2013

Well, ladies, Christmas week is upon us. I know a lot of us will need somewhere to come and vent about our families that we all love *so* much. So I figured I'd set up a thread we can all come to throughout the week to vent and commiserate with each other!

I'll go first, lol!

My DH's family *still hasn't told us who all will be coming to our house for breakfast Christmas morning. So far, the only definites are MIL, GMIL, and GFIL. His sister, her DH and their 2 kids responded "maybe" and now aren't returning calls/ texts, etc. His aunt still isn't sure, and neither are his other 2 cousins. So, I'm having a great time trying to figure out how much food to buy/ make, and how many picky eaters I am going to have to deal with. (DH's family is comprised of the most boring food eaters I've ever met)

Also, we're doing second Christmas at my uncle's house Saturday. My dad, stepmom, stepsister, grandmother, and aunt will be joining us, but my grandmother is refusing to exchange presents there. So we now also have to make time to go to her house *just* to do presents even though we'll all be celebrating together later at my uncle's. Such a huge PITA!

FmrAFBrat · December 2013

I have the MIL tomorrow. It will be tons of fun. I am sure she will be disappointed that we are just having ham and no turkey...but oh well.

We're doing my family Christmas Day...which should be nice. I do get slightly depressed though that some of the people I had always envisioned my kids spending the holidays with are gone. They all died mid October-November so I kinda stay in a funk every year from November on. Then on top of the funk is the uncertainty
with DH & the hope that we have some good news soon.

Plus it doesn't feel like Christmas. It's warm again and we had a tornado warning (& power outage) this weekend.

MJM3108 · December 2013

theresat858 said:

MIL has been here less than 24 hours and is already driving me crazy.

It's 5 o'clock somewhere! Start drinking- here's a glass of vino to get you going!

adoxyinherear · December 2013

Omigosh, what a good idea. We had our holiday parties with DH's family over the weekend so most of the drama is over now, thank goodness. Sending lots of strong, patient thoughts to everyone!

twotexans · December 2013

We have had to cancel out Christmas Eve plans. My nephew has hand, foot, and mouth. And everyone but the 3 of us have been exposed. We already declined going out of town, and it's too late to regroup and go. Looks like it will just be the 3 of us for baby's first Christmas.

misternmiss · December 2013

I'm quite jealous of you, @twotexans!

twotexans · December 2013

misternmiss said:
I'm quite jealous of you, @twotexans!

Ha! It's the first year, in my almost 37 years, that I haven't been with my family on Christmas Eve. It is/was strange. We were going to do church and Chinese tonight, but someone is in the midst of a growth spurt/ sleep strike. We did Italian take-out, watched A Christmas Story, had M unwrap her Christmas jammies. It was a very calm and quite evening. My parents are going to drop off gifts late tomorrow morning.

MJM3108 · December 2013

I know we can't be there to physically help each other out in person, but we all know that PAL is a judgment free zone! So keep those vents coming ladies, and don't forget- wine is cheaper than therapy, and if you call breakfast brunch, it's socially acceptable to drink! That's exactly why my in laws were invited for brunch, lol!

melly918 · December 2013

My vent is we are at the ILs until Friday and there are three older kids - DS (4), and cousins 5 and 8. The house is not baby proofed at.all. The living room is pretty much the only place DD can be and it is full of older kid toys that are a total choking hazard. Plus the Christmas tree which has breakable ornaments and gauzey stuff that DD could pull off. So now that means I have to pick up after the kids every effing second and stick to DD like glue. She puts everything in her mouth. I mean everything! She will find the tiniest morsel and put it in her mouth. I swear, she must have been a bloodhound in a past life. I am just so over the holiday stuff and ready to look forward to the new year.

martinimomma · December 2013

My DH's family are very sweet people and very generous with the kids. However, that means we drove home on Christmas Eve with the back of our SUV literally crammed with gifts for them. That mostly don't fit. Or are way too noisy and large for our tiny house to hold. Or just don't work for us/me and how we raise our LOs (a rattle set for DD that is shaped like jewelry for "baby's first bling," anyone? Not for us.). None of these items, toys or clothes, came with gift receipts or tags To permit exchanges or returns. We appreciate their generosity, but this is insane. After a similar onslaught for DS last Christmas, we responded to questions about what the kids like or need this year with a request for Jammies or a book (with suggestions of which ones or types) and reinforced that we are already out of space in our small playroom for toys (and the kids rooms are too small to hold a lot of toys) which they all saw first hand at thanksgiving. So what better to get DS than a ridiculously noisy plastic train set with 15 feet of track? When DS already has a wooden train table taking up a big part of the playroom. Yeah, that sounds great. Let's cram that in there too, so we really can't walk without tripping on something.

I feel ungrateful when that is not the case, but much like last year we have set aside a lot of the gifts to give to toys for tots next year. It is just a waste. DH does not want to offend by asking about exchanges or returns after the fact.

Has anyone succeeded in getting their families to scale back on gifts? DH is afraid of being perceived as rude, but I think it is mor rude to perpetuate the idea that this is welcome while giving a bunch of the stuff away later without ever using it.

ravenclaw1 · December 2013

martinimomma said:

Has anyone succeeded in getting their families to scale back on gifts? DH is afraid of being perceived as rude, but I think it is mor rude to perpetuate the idea that this is welcome while giving a bunch of the stuff away later without ever using it.

We have. I've just tried redirecting my mom toward clothes instead of stuff. They still like to buy some big items, but just one or two. My mom does go pretty overboard on the clothes, but at least they're small.

What we've done as a family a few times is say "instead of buying gifts, we're all going to chip in and hire a photographer to take pictures of the whole family while everyone is here". Everyone contributes and then we have great photos. We all win

twotexans · December 2013

We asked for a family membership to the zoo, in lieu of gifts. We still got a few, but they were things that she will use.

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