I'm losing my mind.

GalLaura · December 2013

I'm losing my mind.

My lo has completely stopped sleeping. I can no longer get him down to nap. He screams and cries the whole time. If he finally does fall asleep then I put him down and he wakes up instantly screaming. He also will not sleep at night again. My dh and are at each other's throats from exhaustion. I feel like he is criticizing my techniques to date. We need to sleep train the baby. I'm just not sure what and when to do it. We are at my in laws and leave tomorrow. Then his mom is coming home with us for two days before we leave for America.

I have no idea what to do for him to sleep I'm reading a few books and all but how can I start sleep training when I'm vacating to the other side of the world. Suggestions are welcome, please.

To top it off. I'm homesick on Christmas and my MIl was just so rude saying she "didn't mean to be negative but that she felt sorry for lo going somewhere where he doesn't know anyone. That it will be a lot for him." I said well he cried when he saw you and your mom too. He doesn't really know you either. She can be such a bitch.

I'm so sad. This is supposed to be one of the best days on Xmas and with my baby. Instead I've been miserable and trying not to cry all day.

Hopeful1981 · December 2013

I am so sorry, both for your lack of sleep. Sleep deprivation is very difficult and I know how much it strains your other relationships. And your MIL is a bitch. I just wanted to say this whole thing really sucks, I wish I had advice/suggestions on sleep training especially with the vacation to a different time zone. We sleep trained when LO was younger and the big thing for us was to watch for sleep cues. Our LO gets more hysterical and resists sleep the more tired he got so we learned that by catching his drowsy signs early on and getting him to sleep then it was much easier than trying to get him to sleep when he was worked into a panic. Maybe this would help? Merry Christmas and good luck!

Maelara · December 2013

I am so sorry you are going through this. It sounds like your little guy could use just as much sleep as you and your DH.

You're MIL is a bitch. I say, try to make nice until you get some sleep so you don't say something you will regret later.

If you choose to CIO, we will be here to hold your hand.

Good luck and I'll be thinking of you!

GalLaura · December 2013

@hopeful1981 It was nice just to see your scree name. Gives me hope

. What kind of sleep training did you do?

@maelara. Thank you. I'm afraid to try anything since we are going on a massive holiday. Good advice about mil.

@chicagochic82. I just did this. I'm sure the whole house is going to come in and bitch at me for letting him fall asleep eating and on me but this little man needs some zzzz's and tlc.

Thank you ladies for your support.

steph_pegasus · December 2013

I am so sorry you're going through all of this at once. I can only base my suggestions off of my own LO, but I hope that everything improves for you soon.
First of all, I think your LO knows that you are stressed and it is stressing him out too. I know it's difficult to relax, especially when you have to deal with your MIL, but even if it means barring yourself and LO in your bedroom, get some alone time with him where you can both chill.

A new environment disrupts my LO's nap/sleep schedule, so I would say that the sleep training should wait til after you're back home from your trip. But in the meantime, let him nap on you, don't try to set him down or give him to anyone else if it means he's going to wake up. Do what he needs so that you both can get some rest. I don't let LO nap in the dark during the day, because that is one thing that can really mess up their circadian rhythm. We sleep trained our LO, and I'm happy to answer any questions you have about how it worked for us.

I am so sorry about your MIL too. I get annoyed at mine sometimes, but she's not antagonistic to me (or if she is, I'm great at ignoring it). Yours should not have said that to you. I am excited for your LO to meet your family here in the states! They're going to adore him! Ignore the MIL, and be excited for your trip home!

tttwalters · December 2013

you and your hubby are both going to america right? so your lo will know someone! I totally get the sleep deprevation and it sucks. My mil was not so understanding last night about it either. her favorite saying is "no one ever died from lack of sleep". hugs to you and I hope your travells go well, keep us posted!

LBeez13 · December 2013

So sorry you're going through this!! My LO has also been horrible about napping. Yesterday the only time he napped was while I nursed he would fall asleep. So I just fed him extra to try and get him to sleep a little during the day. Everyone always has the "answer" as to what will make your baby sleep. Yesterday all my dad kept saying was "well he shouldn't nap during the day. Just watch tonight he will actually sttn for you cause he didn't nap." Ummm no dad you're wrong cause my husband and I have been up 4+ times tonight!! Hope your situation gets better, I know I get super grouchy with no sleep so it's hard on my DH. I just keep thinking, the waking up multiple times has to end at some point!!

numbersgirl08 · December 2013

I'm so sorry

. I agree with the others - get him some sleep however you can. Trade off with hubby if you yourself can't sleep if baby is on you. Wait on sleep training but do what it takes to sleep.

And LO will be just fine being around others! It's a great present to meet all the family! I truly hope you are able to enjoy your trip - I know how important it is when you haven't been home in a long while. Prayers to you!

GalLaura · December 2013

Last night we let the baby cry for the the first time. I know flame away. No one could flame me more than myself. He just would not sleep. So I let him cry for 5 minutes then comforted him and then for 10 minutes. We were in the room too. He finally fell asleep until 6 am. I sobbed. This morning dh said put him down like that again. I did and he fell asleep within 5 minutes. We just tried his nap and it's not working. He has been crying on and off now and it's killing me. I don't want to give him mixed signals so dh has just been soothing him. Why is this so flicking hard? I can't take it. My poor baby boy. I wish I could teach you better to sleep.

Maelara · December 2013

No flames here. Not only is he old enough now, you've been posting for awhile about how bad his sleep is. In my opinion, from what you've told us, I think CIO was the right thing to do. I've been letting N fuss it out and it's been killing me. I can't imagine the emotions you are feeling. Your doing your best moma. I'm sending you lots of creepy Internet hugs!

Hopeful1981 · December 2013

GalLaura said:

@hopeful1981 It was nice just to see your scree name. Gives me hope . What kind of sleep training did you do?

It was when LO was about 4 months old. We were having increasing problems with sleep and the pediatrician warned us repeatedly if we didn't do something now it would just get harder and harder the longer we waited. Our problem was getting to sleep--once he was asleep it was fine, he didn't wake up, etc. But he was hysterical trying to get to sleep. So we started watching for drowsy cues and as soon as he got drowsy we put him in the crib to get himself to sleep. The first time he was agitated, kicking, flailing, grunting. This lasted about ten minutes or so before he fell asleep. A couple times he cried and we went in and comforted him but didn't pick him up. He never got to the point of hysterical crying for long periods of time.

Oh, and I also started this with naps first. And at night he sleeps in total darkness. And I also started scattering like 6 pacifiers around him at night so he can find one in the middle of the night. At this time he also dropped his MOTN feedings, which also makes a big difference.

Every baby is different, has different needs and responds differently to things. In hindsight our problem was that we were not reading his sleepy cues well and he was getting overtired and hysterical and by that point he was so upset and nearly impossible to get to sleep.

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