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I hate the way I'm parenting

nschuetz01nschuetz01 member
in Attachment Parenting
I need advice....
Im all for the gentle discipline strategy, but I can't seem to get myself to follow it. I constantly find myself yelling, saying no, getting VERY frustrated, and expecting my child to know better/understand more than he does at 15 months. To me the infant days were a cake walk and this (toddler years) is where parenting has gotten really difficult. I know theses years are very influential and I want to do right for my son. How do you handle these early toddler years? How do you keep your patience and calm? I just constantly find me losing myself in the moment and I absolutely hate myself for it. I had so much patience when I was pregnant....where did it all go?! I am thankful for any advice/tips. TIA
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Re: I hate the way I'm parenting

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  • vvvvvfeevvvvvfee member

    nschuetz01 said:
    I need advice.... Im all for the gentle discipline strategy, but I can't seem to get myself to follow it. I constantly find myself yelling, saying no, getting VERY frustrated, and expecting my child to know better/understand more than he does at 15 months. To me the infant days were a cake walk and this (toddler years) is where parenting has gotten really difficult. I know theses years are very influential and I want to do right for my son. How do you handle these early toddler years? How do you keep your patience and calm? I just constantly find me losing myself in the moment and I absolutely hate myself for it. I had so much patience when I was pregnant....where did it all go?! I am thankful for any advice/tips. TIA
    I am so right there with you on this! I could have written this word for word.

    I have a 16 month old and DH and I both work full time, and I have read so many positive parenting books and believe whole-heartedly in it, but I feel like I just can't summon the patience sometimes and I hate myself for it (and I know DS deserves better). 
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  • nosoup4unosoup4u member
    Like PP said, do you get breaks? Do you guys get out of the house, or do you get to socialize w other parents? Is there a spot in your house that's totally baby-proofed, so you don't have to constantly make sure he's not getting into things? Does your LO have enough things to stay occupied? Things like play doh or paint could be fun to introduce him to.

    There's always a huge leap between 12-18 mos. where toddlers suddnel understand what you're trying to say, it makes a big difference. Hang in there!
    DS1 - Feb 2008

    DS2 - Oct 2010 (my VBAC baby!)

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  • momof2buggsmomof2buggs member
    You need to choose a strategy, and stick with it. Consistency is the absolute key here. Whatever corrective action you choose, you need to impose it every. single. time. This will create clear boundaries, and your child will thrive within them.
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  • nschuetz01nschuetz01 member
    Thanks for the replies and advice ladies! A lot has changed for me and my family in the last month...big move, new jobs (DH now working 3d shift and me more our less SAH mom right now), close to grandma now so lots of grandparent time. To answer questions....my lack of patience and over reaction has been haunting me since before all this craziness....then my DH and I both worked, DS did part time daycare and we didn't get out much other than as a family. Now we will have more of an opportunity with family close by. Now I get out every day for 2hrs as I coach basketball. LOTS of toys available, tried a few new things like coloring (didn't end well....he still eats everything). Maybe I just need some yoga in my life, haha !
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  • CtlsRajeshCtlsRajesh member
    You can make a strategy for your child and follow the strategy at regular basis.
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  • SarahandSam2007SarahandSam2007 member
    There's a good podcast/video called yogamazing that you can do from home.  Some of the sessions are only 20 mins long, and they make you feel so much better.  Plus, the teacher is named Chaz Rough.  Chaz Rough?!?  Yes.
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  • jcsumm0jcsumm0 member
    I recently read the book Peaceful Parent, Happy Kids and it was the best book I've read so far on positive discipline.  It focuses a lot on how to deal with your feelings as a parent.  I highly recommend it.  The author also has a website ahaparenting.com
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  • MrsJ2theZMrsJ2theZ member
    I am not a parent quite yet, but I accidentally borrowed "The Child Whisperer" from the Amazon Lending Library on my Kindle and I'm only allowed one borrow per month so I'm reading it lol. I am only 500 pages in but I would still recommend it. It discusses understanding your child's personality type and how to respond to them and deal with it. It seems like a really helpful book and got a lot of great reviews!
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  • LittleNugget93LittleNugget93 member
    I am dealing with this too...at 4 months. Whenever I find myself getting very upset, I tell myself that I am my daughter's world right now. She is upset and just wants cuddles. I think of how I feel when all I want is to cuddle with someone, but I don't have that option...and it sucks. I really try to remove my feelings from the situation. Another thing I do is let her grandparents watch her when they can (we are living with my mom since her dad left us). They are rarely free because they have very demanding jobs so it is only every other week. But during that time I treat myself to a nice long bath and I focus on myself. It helps to recharge a little. You are an amazing woman and you have already accomplished so much in motherhood. Stay strong :)
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