Things I learned from Maury

blue_elle · December 2013

I forgot how educational and informative daytime television is. Today on Maury's extra special paternity episode (does he even do anything else anymore?) we've learned that:

13 year old boys shoot "dog water" and obviously can't get anyone pregnant <--- sadly this is coming from his NURSE mother

40 year old men cannot get women pregnant anymore. Are they shooting dog water too? Or does it change to something else? Important questions they've left unanswered.

And when demanding child support from a man who may or may not be the father, always make sure to include a charge for vaginal rejuvenation. Maybe if he's not the father he'll still pay for it in exchange for getting joint custody.

salsamommy · December 2013

I love the Man or Woman shows! I was wrong half the time!

My all time fave Maury was when Jack Hanna comes for the holiday specials with the animals!

LMCB12 · December 2013

I can't believe that show still exists

ccip82 · December 2013

I learned that DH was not the father...

PreDempsey · December 2013

My take away from Maury is that "It's my hot body and I'll do what I want" .. well technically it's from South Park.

brideandbreve · December 2013

My favorite part of Maury episodes is when he tells the men who turn out to be "the father" to be a "stand-up guy."

"Be a stand-up guy!"

"You're gonna be a stand-up guy to this baby, right?"

Yeah, he was a stand-up guy alright. Standin' at attention and effing without rubbers. I feel like every person who comes on that show for the paternity episodes needs a lifetime supply of condoms and birth control pills.

Tylynngrace · December 2013

I love the "my teens out of control" episodes, it makes me feel better about how I was.

precious72381 · December 2013

Day 95 of bed rest and I still manage to watch this crap on almost a daily basis. I love the girls that swear 1000% he is the only possible person that can be the father...then isn't!!