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Potty trained 2 yo having "on-purposes"

avaleiavalei member
in Potty Training
Any thoughts on dealing with the defiant sort of "on-purposes"? My daughter's been out of diapers since May and completely potty trained for 3ish months, but is suddenly starting to pee on the floor randomly. She tells me it's "fun". She's doing all the characteristic 2yo behaviors (b-day is next week), and having a total attitude I didn't think I'd see til her teens!  "Where does your pee pee go?"  "Ummmmmmmmm, pants?" I swear, there's practically an eye-roll in there, and a mile-thick layer of mockery/sarcasm. I am 100% certain this is behavioral. She had zero problems unless completely distracted playing outside at daycare 2 weeks ago, then rapid about-face to this craziness.

I'm planning to do the potty timer when I'm home, but I work 3 days a week. They'll do the timer, but aren't real thrilled with her sudden accidents. I have not had to use pull-ups in the entire time since we started potty-training (just let her go naked and cleaned up messes when they happened), and I don't want to go there. Daycare ran out of extra clothes one day last week, and when they put her in a pull up, she immediately pooped in it, so I'm pretty sure that would make things worse, not better! Mostly I need some ideas for practical and natural consequences when she does have an on-purpose. I know getting upset makes it worse (she loves the reaction and attention). She doesn't much like time-outs, but I can't get her to sit still on a time-out chair (ideas for introducing this to super squirmy kids?), and I have to close her windows and keep all the lights off in her room, or she just has a blast jumping on the bed and laughing at herself in the mirror! Any ideas are welcome!
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Re: Potty trained 2 yo having "on-purposes"

  • unaveragejaneunaveragejane member
    Okay, let me preface this by saying I do not have a whole lot of experience with 2-year-olds, so take this all with a grain of salt. When I worked with elementary kids with behavioral needs, it was really important to analyze what, when, and why they were doing things. If you can figure out what is feeding the undesirable behavior, you can use that to your advantage in creating a desired behavior. In your DD's case, I would try to find out what reaction she gets when she deliberately pees. Are people giving her big reactions? Even negative reactions can feed a craving for attention. (If this is the case, I would encourage no talking and no eye contact when she is changed. Just do it all wordlessly.) Is she enjoying the wardrobe change? (Let her pick out her favorite clothes to wear that day, but anything else she wears would be her least-favorite clothes.) Is she looking for the control factor she gets by picking where she pees? (Give her as many other choices as you can in other things in her life. Does she want the blue fork or pink? Sit in this chair or that? Colors or bubbles? Floor potty or potty seat?) Also, in regards to time out, sometimes it helps to use a carpet square or small rug. The boundaries are defined (must stay on the carpet) but sometimes it's easier for them to stay on than a chair.
                 

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  • lifeonthehilllifeonthehill member
    Lurking here. I don't have any of my own but have worked with kids this age for years. I know these kids are a little older but...

    Recently we had a 2 year 3 month old start doing this. We asked her mom to let her dress herself each morning and when she came in tutus and fancy dresses we reminded her that if she wet the outfit she lost it to the laundry and couldn't get it back till the weekend. Monday she wet an outfit and when she went to pick out a sparkly skirt from her cubby to put on we handed her black sweatpants and a white hanes t shirt instead. She was so angry she sat naked for 10 minutes. Same thing happened Tuesday and she has been dry since.

    Another two and a half year old last year hated being "watched" as she called it. When asked to go to the bathroom she would pee in her clothes rather than going into the bathroom. She said she didn't want to anymore. "It's no fun." So we started going in with her and bringing her every 45 minutes just like we did with a younger child. She didn't like being treated that way and it stopped within days.

    Only other suggestion I have is a sticker chart. Have her put a sticker on for going and a X for an accident. That is usually enough but with some kids if they are dry all day they get a single MM and it keeps them happy. If it is going well we make it a week and then they basically forget all about it.

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  • norriuxnorriux member
    I potty trained DS when he was 22 months old. He has been accident free for over 8 months now. Shortly after we potty trained he hit a rough patch where he would be a little defiant and would wet himself out of nowhere. We started introducing consequences whenever he did it and he stopped wetting himself on purpose almost immediately. The types of consequences we would use would be something like if he was playing with a certain toy and he wet himself, we would take away the toy and explain to him he could have it back when he started telling us that he had to go potty. It worked well for us and he has done great since then.
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  • dawn6041dawn6041 member
    I have twins that are two potty trained at 20 months and started doing the same thing. It's just the terrible twos they are trying to find themselves and testing us to see what they can get away with. When I catch them peeing on purpose I give them a time out on the potty. They know which freedoms they have and I let them run around without diapers but since they always take off a diaper if I put one on they are responsible for asking for a diaper if they need one. Obviously they have accidents and at those or if I'm not sure it was an accident I always just clean it up and remind them to use the potty. It's hard bc I think they did it just so they can help clean it up since they love to clean lol. Two year old are hard unpredictable and completely different than the innocent one year olds they use to be.
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