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June 2014 Moms
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I can't have a baby shower :(

Yasm33naYasm33na member
in June 2014 Moms
A friend of mine in Canada just had her baby shower and she asked me when I wanted to do mine.... Then I realized that I don't get one :(. I have no girlfriends here... Since I moved to Germany I've only gotten to know DHs friends who are all single .... And guys....
My mother isn't here... My sister isn't here... No aunts or cousins... No sister in laws... I don't have any girls to celebrate my baby with :(.
I don't care about gifts or anything... I just feel so lonely all of a sudden. DH is my best friend and he's always there for me. But a girl needs her lady friends right? :(

Anyone have any words of wisdom for me? I'm really sad and I don't think these hormones are making it easier....
Beatrice- bfp September 16 2013, born February 1 2014 died later same day.
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Re: I can't have a baby shower :(

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  • lifeisbetterontheredlifeisbetteronthered member
    Will you be going home anytime before baby arrives, or in the first few months after. With DD we had our shower when she was 2 months old. My sister-in-laws threw it and gave it some catchy name like "cake & cuddle". It was perfect because everyone wanted to meet our little bundle and this got a lot of the visits done at one time. Grandma loved watching everyone dote on her first granddaughter and tell everyone how much she was like DH (not even a little bit). It was a lot of fun.
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  • tbmadeamistaketbmadeamistake member
    I agree with the skype type party!  Not the same as having them there, but way better than nothing.  I've done one for a friend and it's actually really fun.  Bonus is that there's no dressing up, no awkward being polite to the other random people that are there that you don't know well (for the guests at least, you'll know everyone!), and everyone can choose their own food/drink because they're at home.  It's a really nice way to connect when you're far from home. 

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  • almendarezalmendarez member
    My sister came home about 3 months before she was due and had a baby shower with all her girlfriends and me and our mom.  She just registered online and most people sent their gifts to her house across the country!

    I work long hours in a male dominated industry so I am not really close to any women here and I haven't really kept in touch with the women I knew back home either so I probably won't have a shower here or where I grew up, unless one of my male friends throws it!  Diaper poker party anyone?
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  • Yasm33naYasm33na member
    TomW&JennD said:

    Will you be going home anytime before baby arrives, or in the first few months after. With DD we had our shower when she was 2 months old. My sister-in-laws threw it and gave it some catchy name like "cake & cuddle". It was perfect because everyone wanted to meet our little bundle and this got a lot of the visits done at one time. Grandma loved watching everyone dote on her first granddaughter and tell everyone how much she was like DH (not even a little bit). It was a lot of fun.

    I wish... But my doctor said she "wouldn't recommend flying due to risk" so that's been vetoed completely.

    And as for Skype- I did think of that and suggested it to my family but they shot it down and said it was stupid :(.

    I really don't care about the gifts, just having them here would be perfect... But they don't want to fly to Germany ... They were expecting me to come.

    To be honest I'm a little upset that no one has come to visit me in the three years that I've lived here even though I took time to fly over last year...
    Beatrice- bfp September 16 2013, born February 1 2014 died later same day.
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  • Yasm33naYasm33na member
    almendarez said:

    My sister came home about 3 months before she was due and had a baby shower with all her girlfriends and me and our mom.  She just registered online and most people sent their gifts to her house across the country!


    I work long hours in a male dominated industry so I am not really close to any women here and I haven't really kept in touch with the women I knew back home either so I probably won't have a shower here or where I grew up, unless one of my male friends throws it!  Diaper poker party anyone?
    Maybe I'll throw a "soccer mom" shower and just invite DHs friends... Play a few soccer games on a big screen and serve chicken wings and sliders.

    I'm sure he'd have a good time but I'll end up being the one cooking and cleaning up after :p
    Beatrice- bfp September 16 2013, born February 1 2014 died later same day.
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  • ElTrain5ElTrain5 member
    How about the idea of throwing kack and jill shower? Maybe DH could set it up,invite his friends and their wives. It would give you a chance to meet their female halfs too :) I moved cross country and DH's friends wives are some of the only girl friends I have out here so far.

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  • yayksimpyayksimp member
    Omg, I totally know how you feel.  I recently moved cross-country to Washington State, and have NO girlfriends here-- I work from home, and so does DH, so I just haven't had enough opportunities to meet people. I don't think I'll get any kind of shower. This is my first and I WANT the shower-- I want a frilly cake and lemonade and stupid games. It sounds so girly and fun. 

    I lived overseas for about 10 years, and I totally feel you about the "sad they haven't visited" thing. I was in Barcelona forever, and most of the people I love most didn't even come to visit me ONCE. My best friend never made it-- I was heartbroken. It got really lonely, especially before I learned decent-enough Spanish and made my own group of friends. I really feel for you-- I never had to do it pregnant, and think I would've felt incredibly lonely.
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  • Yasm33naYasm33na member
    ElTrain5 said:

    How about the idea of throwing kack and jill shower? Maybe DH could set it up,invite his friends and their wives. It would give you a chance to meet their female halfs too :) I moved cross country and DH's friends wives are some of the only girl friends I have out here so far.

    Jack and Jill parties are awesome, it's a great suggestion :).
    I would love if DHs friends were married... But ALL of them are single. Not even girlfriends :s We're the only couple in the group and definitely the only ones having a baby....

    The guys are great, really sweet and all super excited about the LO (they can't wait to be called "uncle" :p) but they're still not girls :p
    Beatrice- bfp September 16 2013, born February 1 2014 died later same day.
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  • redcloverbabyredcloverbaby member
    Personally....I'd have a "guy" shower. I known it sounds stupid....but guys can get very emotional about babies. They would probably get all over that shower;-) Maybe ask your husband if he thinks it will work.
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  • SaraT717SaraT717 member
    I bet a guys shower could be a hit! You could have fun games like chug the baby bottle first one wins. I bet the guys would love the competition of the games!
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  • jodester2014jodester2014 member
    You should totally invite all the guys over! Play lots of games and just hang out.  I know you don't care about getting presents but the guys would probably love shopping for the new one and it would be adorable to see what they buy :) 
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  • crossfitkiwicrossfitkiwi member
    edited December 2013
    yayksimp said:
    Omg, I totally know how you feel.  I recently moved cross-country to Washington State, and have NO girlfriends here-- I work from home, and so does DH, so I just haven't had enough opportunities to meet people. I don't think I'll get any kind of shower. This is my first and I WANT the shower-- I want a frilly cake and lemonade and stupid games. It sounds so girly and fun. 

    I lived overseas for about 10 years, and I totally feel you about the "sad they haven't visited" thing. I was in Barcelona forever, and most of the people I love most didn't even come to visit me ONCE. My best friend never made it-- I was heartbroken. It got really lonely, especially before I learned decent-enough Spanish and made my own group of friends. I really feel for you-- I never had to do it pregnant, and think I would've felt incredibly lonely.
    This is me! Since we got married DH and I have traveled a lot, never staying in one place for more than about 6 months. We decided to settle in Seattle this year and both work from home too. We're got to know a few people but it's slow going. A couple of the gals I've met are TTC and I hope to get to know them better, but they have their own groups of friends already so it's hard. I'm also initially quite a shy person which doesn't help.

    DH is amazing and my best friend but I'm definitely starting to pine for a group of girls to hang out with.
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  • Yasm33naYasm33na member
    You ladies are great. I think I might do it :). DH has a day off today so I'll talk to him about it :). Maybe the guys will be up for a little get together :).

    @crossfitkiwi ... I know where you're coming from... Making friends is so hard , especially when you're shy.
    For me it's not so much the shy but more that the ladies in our village don't speak english :p.
    Beatrice- bfp September 16 2013, born February 1 2014 died later same day.
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  • chaysefaithchaysefaith member
    Let us know what he says :)

    For a long time all of my friends were my bf's military buddies. I was just one of the guys to them, they would invite me out with them while he was deployed this past year and they were all I had (my "girlfriends" ditched mr shortly after he left). I know how lonely life gets without any girlfriends. Are you guys military? Or no?
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  • Yasm33naYasm33na member
    SNLT1012 said:

    Let us know what he says :)

    For a long time all of my friends were my bf's military buddies. I was just one of the guys to them, they would invite me out with them while he was deployed this past year and they were all I had (my "girlfriends" ditched mr shortly after he left). I know how lonely life gets without any girlfriends. Are you guys military? Or no?

    Aw wow :(. It sucks to have girlfriends fall off the map...
    No, we're not military :). We live close to the Bitburg base though, so lots of Americans coming and going.

    I just decided to move out here after I married DH so that our kids could grow up in his home town :).
    Beatrice- bfp September 16 2013, born February 1 2014 died later same day.
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  • chaysefaithchaysefaith member
    Well shoot, girl!  Better get on learning that language!! Does he not family there? If you could learn the language I'm sure it would start to get easier to meet girlfriends.  
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  • Yasm33naYasm33na member
    Oh no! Lol. I speak nearly fluent German. But I live with farmers :p. they speak a special dialect called "Platt" ... It's like listening to someone speak cockney. :p. I understand people in the city perfectly but I'm not there very often.
    Beatrice- bfp September 16 2013, born February 1 2014 died later same day.
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  • chaysefaithchaysefaith member
    Then definitely look into some sort of group!  I'm totally hijacking your thread and trying to make girlfriends for you.  Look for groups that interest you and get involved!  Don't be afraid to speak up and introduce yourself to people.  I'm incredibly shy around people I've just met, but I'm always so impressed with people who just come right up to you and introduce themselves, I always want to get to know them better.  So don't be afraid to put yourself out there. 
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  • Yasm33naYasm33na member
    SNLT1012 said:

    Then definitely look into some sort of group!  I'm totally hijacking your thread and trying to make girlfriends for you.  Look for groups that interest you and get involved!  Don't be afraid to speak up and introduce yourself to people.  I'm incredibly shy around people I've just met, but I'm always so impressed with people who just come right up to you and introduce themselves, I always want to get to know them better.  So don't be afraid to put yourself out there. 

    That's very sweet of you, thanks :).

    I spoke to DH about the guy shower and he thought it was a great idea! AND he suggested that after the baby is born, we rent out a local pub for the day and invite the whole village. That way I'll get a chance to get to know more people and I won't have to clean up after :). He even suggested that I invite my best friend to fly over from Canada and stay with us for a week or two and celebrate the "birthday" with us :).
    Beatrice- bfp September 16 2013, born February 1 2014 died later same day.
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  • anordstrWed114947anordstrWed114947 member
    Maybe they are planning in coming if they shot down your good idea quickly
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  • Yasm33naYasm33na member
    anordstrWed114947 said:

    Maybe they are planning in coming if they shot down your good idea quickly


    Doubt it :p. not really their personality to spend money where they don't have to. They just think I'm "overreacting" for listening to my doctor.
    Beatrice- bfp September 16 2013, born February 1 2014 died later same day.
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  • Kaytucker1Kaytucker1 member
    We had a shower for DD with all the guys from DH shop as well since we lived far from home(military). It was wonderful! We will probably have to do it that way again this time since we are moving to Germany in February. Do you know how far ramstein afb is from where you live?
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  • Yasm33naYasm33na member
    Kaytucker1 said:

    We had a shower for DD with all the guys from DH shop as well since we lived far from home(military). It was wonderful! We will probably have to do it that way again this time since we are moving to Germany in February. Do you know how far ramstein afb is from where you live?

    I think it's a little more than 1.5 hours from us. We're much closer to spangdahlem base.

    I don't know how you military wives do it.... Moving across the world at the drop of a hat. I have a lot of respect for you all. It must be really difficult.
    Beatrice- bfp September 16 2013, born February 1 2014 died later same day.
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  • LakiratLakirat member
    You have a great DH. I love the idea of renting out a pub and getting to know more people. I hope your best friend can make it out to visit too.

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  • RaeJ004RaeJ004 member
    We did a Skype party for a friend of mine living in Germany. Her mom was with us and opened her gifts for her, showed everything to the camera, and then handed it off to me as I folded it and put it right in a box that we shipped to her. We did it at like 10am our time so that it was a good time for her there, so we did a little brunch, mimosas, etc. We hooked the computer to the TV so we could all see her easily.
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