MIL Rant

KQuinonez · December 2013

I have a great MIL until I leave DS with her. We went out to dinner with friends and I gave her specific directions on when to feed LO and how much. I left two 4 oz bottles and one 3 oz just in case he woke up after going to bed. I nursed him and he was sleeping when we left. He woke up and she fed him two bottles because he was upset! I told her after the last time she did this not to but she won't listen. My stash is not low but he does not need that much and when I tell her not to she acts like I am crazy.

Do any other moms have this problem? You would not feed a bottle fed baby two bottles so why is it any different for BF? It makes me not want to leave him with her.

Revez · December 2013

Don't even get me started on MILs. It's like stupid oozes out of her pores.

To actually respond to your post: My LO won't take a bottle so I can't really relate, but can you tell her if it happens again that you can no longer trust her to take care of your LO? It's like a matter of principle, if she won't listen to your instructions on this then she won't listen to your instructions on other things as your LO grows. I'm a firm believer in "your baby, your rules". Just a thought.

TexasGirl81 · December 2013

My mom tries to give 4 oz bottles every 45 min! I'm like come on! She's sleepyyyyyyyyyy, not hungry. Man! I feel your pain. :-L

kanned0121 · December 2013

My mil fed LO 10 oz within 2 hours.. I was not happy!

KQuinonez · December 2013

I agree @Zever000 100%. I just do not know if I have enough balls to say that. She loves DS so much but she has yet to realize he is my son and not hers. I was hoping this time would be different.

@TexasGirl81 Every 45 minutes, I would die!

KQuinonez · December 2013

kanned0121 said:
My mil fed LO 10 oz within 2 hours.. I was not happy!

What is wrong with these women. I get maybe an extra ounce but a whole extra bottle? !? You wouldn't give a two year old a whole second meal, so a baby should not be any different.

laabeja · December 2013

MIL refused to listen to us on the small things so we told her we couldn't trust her and we have still yet to leave either kid with her alone and DS is 2. She complains about it, and we have offered to have her come over so one of us is here supervising while she takes care of the kids, but she STILL can't seem to get it through her thick skull to actually listen to us. It's an endless circle.

natsko · December 2013

Yes!!! I fighting the same fight with my mil and mom, I've given both info to read about giving a bottle to a breastfed baby, it's starting to help

Texasmomma13 · December 2013

I had to restrict my mil to supervised visits only. She still makes me out to be the wicked bitch about it but idgaf, at least I know S is safe. You do what you have to and their feelings be damned. This was her second chance correct? I'd just lay the law down now then.

Caz1221 · December 2013

My MIL is out of state, but she comes to visit frequently. She cares for my niece (20 months) and nephew (4 months) 1-2 days every week, so I generally trust her with LO but haven't left LO with her for more than about an hour.

However, we just arrived at the ILs' house last night only to find the crib they use for niece and nephew is a drop sided crib, and the PNP they said they had (causing us not to bring ours) isn't here! WTF?! Sorry - this should go in Monday bitchfest or WTF Wednesday, but I had to get it out there. Luckily, DH totally supports insisting on getting a PNP, either buying one or borrowing SIL's.

MommyAmes2 · December 2013

I don't think they know what to do with them. When a baby cries, seems like everyone thinks that means they are hungry. Which obviously isn't the case, but it is an easy fix to stop the crying for that moment. So, they do it!

kanned0121 · December 2013

KQuinonez said:

kanned0121 said:
My mil fed LO 10 oz within 2 hours.. I was not happy!
What is wrong with these women. I get maybe an extra ounce but a whole extra bottle? !? You wouldn't give a two year old a whole second meal, so a baby should not be any different.

She's always over feeding him.. And tells me I need to increase how many ounces per feeding. This may be rude.. But no wonder why she's over weight.

KQuinonez · December 2013

I know that he probably woke up from his nap and was a little upset. He has not taken to her very well. So she feeds him (which is probably earlier than normal because Mommy would just comfort him). Then he finishes the bottle and mommy still is not there so he cries. Instead of trying to calm him down she gives him another bottle. Of course he takes it because he finds comfort in my milk. I just do not need my son to associate food with comfort. He is in the 75th percentile in weight. I promise I am not starving him.

TexasGirl81 · December 2013

kanned0121 said:

KQuinonez said:

kanned0121 said:
My mil fed LO 10 oz within 2 hours.. I was not happy!
What is wrong with these women. I get maybe an extra ounce but a whole extra bottle? !? You wouldn't give a two year old a whole second meal, so a baby should not be any different.
She's always over feeding him.. And tells me I need to increase how many ounces per feeding. This may be rude.. But no wonder why she's over weight.

Not rude but the truth also on my end. My mom is VERY over weight. And H said "she's trying to make the baby eat like them" talking about her and my stepfather. I was OMG, you are so right. She always says she needs more than 4 oz and tries to feed her very often.
[-X

Wjoyner08 · December 2013

My DH used to do this, he thought most of her cries mean hunger no matter how many times I say otherwise. So I only unfreeze one at a time that way it's a lot of extra effort to find out if she's really still hungry.

PrimRoseMama · December 2013

If she won't listen she doesn't watch LO. If you insist on allowing the fuckery, ask her to go down a check list every time.

Hungry
Dirty
Cold/warm
Tired

If she has fed baby in the last 3 hours there is no reason to do it again. That can cause tummy upset. Stuffing the kid is not the solution.

sfeebs13 · December 2013

What Prim said

My mom did the same thing when I left her with LO for the night. I had probably 80-90 ozs & she used more than half of it in 24hrs. LO was 2 months at the time...
She's always telling me I'm not feeding her enough and that's why she fussy sometimes. WTFever mom.

Eta. This was when I was still EBF.

starshower22 · December 2013

I have a MIL that has on more than one occasion told DH & I that she's going to do whatever she wants and doesn't care what our wishes are. And that's why DD hasn't been left with her once to this day. But I digress..

OP I would definitley tell your MIL if she can't follow the instructions that you left then you'll find someone who can. Your LO's well being is more important than her feelings/thoughts on the matter and for her to act like your request is unreasonable is ridiculous.

CaliforniaDream87 · December 2013

MommyAmes2 said:
I don't think they know what to do with them. When a baby cries, seems like everyone thinks that means they are hungry. Which obviously isn't the case, but it is an easy fix to stop the crying for that moment. So, they do it!

@mommyames exactly! My MIL has done this a few times but to me it's NBD. She gave him a little extra milk. It could be worse (when I say extra I mean a few extra ounces not bottles). However, she's not ignoring my specific instructions so that's a different story.

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