My story (long post, previous loss mentioned)

So here I am. It's been three days since the bleeding started. Kind of cruel, since I went in to see the doctor that day to get a blood test (which came back negative). It still feels surreal to be in this situation. I've cried and screamed and yelled...I can only imagine what all of you must be feeling, and I am sorry that we have to be here. I'm sorry that this had to have happened to any of us. I hate how helpless I feel and how it's like I'm drowning. Who would've thought a simple thing like going to the bathroom would become a dreaded experience?

Let me back up a little bit. Got a BFP on the 10th and the 14th. The first time, I went straight to the med clinic on base and ordered a qualitative blood test, which was negative, and made an appointment for the Thursday, the 19th to see if anything was wrong with my body. I still felt pregnant so I took another test on the following Saturday right before leaving for vacation, which was a nice strong positive. DH and I spent the whole vacation in a happy haze. I was already over the moon, and I know he was too. This was our second pregnancy, and everything seemed normal this time. We were looking forward to the appointment I had made for this past Thursday because we now knew what was going on. There was some spotting after intercourse--nothing to be worried about from everything I'd heard--but other than that it was sore boobs and being tired all the time...all normal right?

We got back late on Wednesday night and went straight to bed. I woke up somewhat late having to go to the bathroom, which left me with a little bit of red spotting, but once again not a big deal according to the doc when I asked her later. DH really wanted to go with me to my appointment, so we met at the med clinic, which didn't have power, so there was a delay in getting in to see the doc. We talked about what was going on and I showed her a picture of my positive hpt and she agreed that was definitely a positive and sent me for another qualitative blood test and sent me home saying she would call when the results came back to schedule a follow-up for a medical profile and the like.

It took them forever to get back to me. She called about 4pm to tell me the blood test came back negative and gave me a number to schedule an U/S for the next day to make sure it wasn't a molar pregnancy or something like that. About 3 hours later I started getting some cramping and a backache, then a 8pm when I went to the bathroom I was greeted with bright red and clotted blood. It broke my heart because I immediately knew what was happening. I couldn't stop crying most of the night and I don't think I slept more than a few hours. I called the doc back the next morning to let her know and she canceled the U/S, telling me to get some rest and that she just knew I'd have better luck next time.

I just can't process this. Its really hard to keep my mind off of it, but I don't like to think about it because it makes me so weepy. It's just so frustrating. I wish I could fix it. I wish this didn't happen to any of us.