Looking on the Stupid Bright Side

OnlyGirlInTheHouse · December 2013

So since the whole world (ourselves sometimes included) wants us to all get over this, I have been trying to look on what I call the "stupid" bright side (to be honest, I usually use a more profane word than "stupid"). I know it's annoying. I'm not afraid to say that the bright side is stupid and sunny and happy and I hate it. I'm angry. I want it to rain and be dark and gloomy. The whole act of trying to be happy right now seems incredibly perverse. So for those of you who want to join me in this hatred of the necessary process of finding the "silver lining" or whatever this weird balancing act is called, let's post the things that we are begrudgingly happy about, even though we would gladly trade it all just to have our pregnancies back. I'm trying to be positive. I'm bad at it. But I also recognize that it's not healthy for me to keep thinking about everything I've just lost.

1. I guess I'm glad I can drink caffeine again.

2. I guess I'm glad I can have alcohol now.

3. I guess it's nice to be able to take medicine without permission.

danakatiepfoltzer · December 2013

I've rekindled my coffee addiction. I love your post. At first, I felt guilting for trying to be happy about drinking coffee, but I realized little things like that will help me get through,,,, that and some lovely wine.

Siggy warning

OnlyGirlInTheHouse · December 2013

Mine is an ultra-caffeinated hot tea. It's awesome. Let's try not to feel guilty together.

srcr2011 · December 2013

coffee for me too.

Glow360 · December 2013

Stupid Bright Side

1. I can now lose the ten pounds I gained when I was pregnant--

2. I can have coffee

3. I have permission to be emotionally wrecked for as long as I want which includes guiltless binge eating of chocolate.

4. I can then lose the weight I gain from splurging on chocolate.

aliciapaige82 · December 2013

Only upside to this whole nightmare for me is that I can finally drink alcohol again. Not to become a total drunk, but enough to relax, and make me happy for even a little while. I do love a good cocktail, and cupcake vineyards wine... Although, I'm seeing family this weekend, so getting drunk might be an option, when I want to block out everyone.

rubylocks7 · December 2013

I'm glad that I can have my Diet Pepsi and wine again.

SC1977 · December 2013

Wine every day. Ha.

And especially wine when I'm visiting with the in-laws in a few weeks and at the 2 company holiday parties I have this month.

I don't really miss the coffee, which is crazy considering how much I was drinking before I got pregnant.

I'd love to lose 5 pounds, but it won't happen if I keep eating Hershey Kisses at the rate I'm going at now.

cakergirl · December 2013

Feta, fish, a glass of wine, and a hot tub bath. Sounds like a good night to me. Not to mention I can eat lunch meat and cold cuts for lunch (and not feel uneasy about it).

DreamChaser246 · December 2013

Ugh, the stupid bright side.

SIL was pregnant at the same time, while to many this may seem like a great thing it is not. She and my MIL are awful to us and DS. Being pregnant and having kids the same age would have made it so much worse with the favoritism and crap that SIL and MIL pull. So yeah. I'm trying to see that as bright side. I'm very very sad, but at least that pain I don't have to worry about as much.

Though SIL being due two weeks before I was is going to make things very hard. Especially with how SIL and MIL are. Her wedding was hell... This is going to be worse.

OnlyGirlInTheHouse · December 2013

DreamChaser, I'm so so sorry that your MIL and SIL are not supportive. I hate it when women are hurtful to one another.

DreamChaser246 · December 2013

OnlyGirlInTheHouse said:
DreamChaser, I'm so so sorry that your MIL and SIL are not supportive. I hate it when women are hurtful to one another.

Thanks. We are planning on going no contact. I'm sad but being around them is just too toxic.

kevinlovesrachel · December 2013

I have been adding a pro to my list everyday...here's what I've come up with so far.... Eggnog, eggs sunny side up, skiing, hiking 14ers, lots of alcohol, my own non-preggo pants, raw cheese, raw chocolate, juicing, flying to Europe, going to Mexico, not drinking as much water, and sleeping through the night without having to pee. There are more because it's been a month for me.

musickphan912 · December 2013

I

heathersf11 · December 2013

I can use Carmex again. (It contains salicylic acid)

JessicaG220 · December 2013

Staying up past 8:00!!! Drinking Christmas Ale. Being able to get drunk on NYE. Not feeling nauseous alllll day.

Would I trade these in for being pregnant? In a second. But damnit, we deserve to be happy and splurge! Hugs to all!!!

blue2mango · December 2013

Lose the 8 pounds I've gained and fit back in my regular pants not my fat pants.

Sweetiepops · December 2013

My parents brought me and my DH dinner last night to help while I was going through my m/c. I asked for sushi- didn't waste any time! Looking forward to beer, and Bailey's in my coffee at Christmas!

dkizz82 · December 2013

Ok, I've been struggling with this too. However, last week my friend gave birth 3 months early. Her little guy made it for 4 days and died. I have to say, that my stupid bright side is, I'm glad this happened early because I don't think I could handle what they are going through. Before you yell at me, I know our loss hurts so badly, but personally, I don't know that I could survive that. So sorry for your loss.

it sucks!

aliciapaige82 · December 2013

I agree with dkizzire82, and I'm currently two weeks passed my miscarriage. It's terrible, and just plain sucks that we have to al go through this, but then I think to myself, that someone else out there is having it worse than myself. One of my cousins who is approx 10 years older than me, ( I'm 31) told me privately that she might be infertile. She tried getting pregnant, now in her forties, and with no luck. She doesn't want to go the route of invitro, and rather leave it in gods hands, she said. And I respedt,and understand her decision, and my heart just aches for her. She told me, she would give anything to go through, what I'm going through now, because at least I got pregnant, and I will become pregnant again...and as hard as it was to hear that rom her, she is right. And I would give anything to help her, if I could,I really wish I could.

I'm still hurting from my loss, but the bright side is...I did get pregnant once, and I will again, when the time is right... And even during my own emotional rollarcoaster that I deal with everyday, it's okay to cry, to vent... I finally had a diet coke after all this time, and it's amazing how much I enjoyed it. I try not to drink slot of caffeine, or diet drinks, anyhow because of the health factors...but it's okay every now and then. Also looking forward to going out to eat, all you can eat sushi...my stupid bright side

PinkRoses · December 2013

Going to revive this thread because I think it's an important one. Even though we're all hurting and this is just such a sh***y experience, it's good to know that we have a support system here.

Just forcing myself to find the stupid bright side is an important step in moving forward. So here I go.

Wine. Egg nog. All kinds of holiday alcoholic concoctions.

Sushi.

Cold medicine. When I was pregnant I was sick and trying to muddle through. I just took some mucinex and it's helping already.

Getting in better shape before trying next time. I want to start with yoga or something. Work on strengthening my core. Be as physically fit as I can be this time around.

Coffee. Caffeine.

Being able to eat whatever I want without having to look it up on the internet to see if it's safe, or worry that it's not healthy enough and then guilting myself. I found it very stressful to have something as basic as eating being fraught with peril.

Seeing my family for the holidays. Even though it's not the surprise announcement Christmas morning that I had envisioned, it's still Christmas at home with my family. That has healing power in itself. There's no place like home for the holidays...

Meeting all of you strong, supportive, compassionate ladies. You've given me strength and support and hope.

Betty769 · December 2013

Thanks for reviving this thread. My stupid bright side: 1) my dear friend who came by with the perfect medicine last night: sushi and wine. 2) being able to try surf lessons and ride a bike when my husband and I go for our honeymoon next month. 3) long walks with my dog 4) hot yoga. 5) wearing all my clothes without worrying what will fit.

Rebecahl · December 2013

My st... Bright side list: first of all I've got a reality check, showed me who is there for me and who isn't, what I want from life and also what I don't want, and like PinkRoses said, the chance of getting to know you, to find a way out from what I'm dealing with right now, and yes speaking of food, As soon as I have any apetite at all I want sushi!!!, wine, champagne, chocolate, coffee, I am so ready to start running again so I can leave behind this awful day...

ACrashe · December 2013

Baileys and hot yoga. Not together obviously.

smcniff · December 2013

My husband and I bought a house this summer. There is a Jacuzzi tub in our bathroom. I never got around to trying it before I got pregnant. I currently have some bath salts ready and waiting for the day I stop bleeding. Maybe it will even be the kick off to starting over.

ProIceSkater · December 2013

I read the title & had my first real smile. Thank you for sharing with us. My hubby & I are going through mis #3 as of 12/18/13 at 10 weeks. This time we told no one that I was preg just in case, so now we are going through it alone. It is going to be hard to smile in front of everyone this Christmas & I am hosting Christmas dinner, so hoping to be too busy in the kitchen to face everyone. I think that all of these posts will def give me some strength. I will be praying for all of you & let's just try to be there for each other.

BKRR0913 · December 2013

Stupid bright side..... 1. Alcohol 2. Exercise 3. My face wash So sorry for all of your losses. I really enjoyed this post. I was 12 1/2 weeks and had a sporadic mis with d&c the day before thanksgiving....things have been tough to say the least.

sjanine · December 2013

This post, and everyone's replies, made me smile. My bright side is diet coke. Boring, but effective.

ankanyo · December 2013

I love these posts from you all. My bright side is that I'm drinking frappacinos and coffee again. I went to the tanning salon today, I just feel that I look so pale and wore down, I need a little color back in my face and the warm felt good. I also have had a few beers over the past few days...I also want to lose a couple lbs before we start trying again, so I'm going to start using my treadmill again.

ASecretChord · December 2013

Thank you for starting this thread, and for everyone's comments. It's helping me tremendously.

Though I was willing to go through much worse pain for my child, it is nice not to be nauseated with morning sickness every day. And to have an appetite for something besides crackers and plain carbs.

I suppose it's also a relief not to be such a hypochondriac about every little thing I eat or do. Sushi, wine, fresh juice, and hot yoga are also my stupid bright side.

The biggest take away for me though is the increased love, respect and admiration I have for my husband. I always knew I married a good man, but he has been absolutely amazing during this pregnancy, its complications and subsequent loss. He's been my caretaker, housekeeper, shoulder-to-cry-on, champion and hero.

aliciapaige82 · December 2013

I had a natural miscarriage on December 1st, and I'm waiting for my period to come, which may be anytime between now and the end of the month. Everything sucks, but each day gets a little bit easier to deal with... Except for Christmas Eve and Christmas Day when both my sister and sister in law announced to the families about their pregnancies....this has brought all of thr emotional pain back again... I'm the meantime of my emotional mess to try and make myself happy, I colored my hair bright red! I haven't been a red head in a few years, so this felt great. Also got a mani/pedi, new haircut, bought my doggie a new outfit, enjoyed holiday cocktails at dinner which i can finally have again! Mostly drinking cocktails,wine, and beer, and jäger shots have brightened up this gloomy holiday season for me. It sucks and I can't do anything about it, except try to enjoy the little things tone that I could never do before my miscarriage. Of course I would gladly give this up to be pregnant again... My husband brought out a good point when I was at my lowest...both my sister and sister in law are due June 22, I was going to be due a few weeks later. At least now my pregancy will stand out alone and be even more special just like me. He's the sweetest, and try's everyday to brighten up my day. Everyday was a little surprise this entire month, he is simply the best. So ladies in the meantime, spice up your hair color, and your cocktails...that has helped me..

farmerswife06 · December 2013

My Brightside... This sounds shallow but my husbands cousin who we are really close to his wife is pregnant and is due about 6 wks before my due date would have been. So I think that our pregnancy would have been kinda outshined by their pregnancy and baby. But God was it hard standing there yesterday at Christmas pretending that I wasn't so angry, and jealous, while I was staring at her protruding belly! It was awful! And no one knows we were pregnant or that we lost it. Just that his cousins wife is bringing a new little one into the family!! Yippe!

My bright side: ALCOHOL!! I wasnt much of a drinker before we got pregnant because we have been trying for YEARS but now I'm induldging in alcohol, chocolate, sodas, undercooked steaks eggs... I feel like Ive been monitering my diet like ive been pregnant for the last 6 years so I'm having everything I've not let myself have. Cold meds when I'm sick! Pain meds when I hurt! Wow! What a difference they make when the inlaws are all about!!

Thanks for reviving this thread!!

francisc · December 2013

My stupid bright side --

1. I don't need to wear an N95 mask while seeing patients for fear of getting what they have. It's really uncomfortable!

2. I get to wear the new clothes i bought for a while longer (I gained weight after my first pregnancy and needed to go a size up)

3. I can eat sushi, deli meat.

4. I get to carry my eldest again once I recover from my D&C. That has been the hardest I think. He's very affectionate and wants to be held a lot. He's also very active, at the toddler stage.

klara61985 · December 2013

Yes I am going through a natural miscarriage now, at 6 weeks. My only bright side is it happened early.

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