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So sad....

emcaemca member
in Adoption
So we were presented to an expectant mom last week through one of our out of state agencies. We found out a few days later that she picked us!! What an amazing feeling that was! Then less than 24 hours I receive a call from the agency director that they have decided, as of December 31st, that they will be changing their status to "for profit" which means that by NJ law, we will not be able to use their agency and therefor our match has fallen through. We are so sad. I always prepared myself for a match to fall through due to the EM changing her mind, etc., but not due to the agency seemingly making a mistake. I just don't understand why they accepted us and showed our profile if they had any indication that this might happen. On the positive side, we are now on their priority list in the two other states where they have non-profit agencies. Thanks for listening. There are very few people who understand the emotions that come with adoption!

After 1 IUI, 3 IVF's with CGH/CCS testing, 10 early miscarriages, and lots of tears and frustration, we are moving on to Domestic Infant Adoption!  We are so excited to see what the future holds.

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Re: So sad....

  • justjinnyjustjinny member
    That is sad!  I feel bad for both you & the BM.  Imagine from her perspective having gone through the whole selection process and now being thrown back into uncertainty.  I think this was very bad of the agency to put all of you in this position.  Is there any way that you could continue with the match through using an adoption attorney in both states, rather than using the now for-profit agency to facilitate it? 
    TTC #1 9/11-12/12, 9/12 Dx: Hypothyroid + DOR (AMH .76), IUI #1 & #2 BFN's
    1/13 Decided to pursue DIA, 4/13 Home study Approved 9/13 Matched!
    10/13 DS home with us! 2/14 TPR completed  5/14 ADOPTION IS FINAL!
    3/14 Surprise BFP 11/14 DD is here!
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  • emcaemca member
    edited December 2013
    I am so sad for the BM too. I can't imagine being in her position. She finally made this difficult decision and now will be thrown into uncertainty again. We tried to see if we could still go forward with the match but they said that since she already signed with the agency that if we tried to go through an attorney there may be issues with ICPC. I'm not exactly sure why. I feel like the agency really messed up.

    After 1 IUI, 3 IVF's with CGH/CCS testing, 10 early miscarriages, and lots of tears and frustration, we are moving on to Domestic Infant Adoption!  We are so excited to see what the future holds.

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  • sgb721sgb721 member
    I would be soo upset too. Why are they changing your status and do to their change are you receiving compensation for your fees? I also live in NJ and I've recently been looking at other agencies. Can you PM me what agency this was that changed?
    TTC since June 2010
    5 Angels

    Lilypie - (hlC0)
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