Resistant husband

Rachelmizrahi · December 2013

My LO is 4 weeks, she couldn't latch at the hospital so I got her used to the nipple shield and that worked occasionally, I have been mostly pumping and giving her a bottle because she fusses and cannot finish a nursing session without screaming, I finally made progress by weaning her gradually from the nipple shield but my husband keeps screaming at me to give her a bottle because she is screaming and I am "hurting her" which is the worst thing you can say to a mother, I am frustrated and sad and don't know how to get him to understand and support me, help!

KaramelSutra · December 2013

Your husband needs a come to Jesus meeting. If breastfeeding is what YOU want for baby, then he needs to be behind you supporting you not making you feel like you're failing or hurting your child. Sometimes dads don't get it, and they certainly can't understand our drive to want to feed our child from breast. But to say you're hurting her is ridiculous and he needs to stop or he will single handedly ruin your breastfeeding relationship

ncbelle · December 2013

I agree - you need to be very clear with him about how he can support you. And I'd suggest that BOTH of you meet with an IBCLC for some hands on help and education.

lioness13 · December 2013

Does the hospital you gave birth in offer lactation support? Contact your insurance provider. They may reimbursed you if you have to pay for an a session with an LC.

jess9802 · December 2013

theresat858 said:

I'm not sure what Jesus has to do with anything, but yes, you and your DH need to be on the same page.

"Come to Jesus" is a not uncommon phrase - simply means making a decisive decision.

OP, my husband's biggest fear in the early days of nursing was that DS was not getting enough to eat (confirmed by several weight checks), followed closely by concern over my well-being since I was exhausted and at times bordering on irrational. If he's open to it, I agree that a consultation with a lactation consultant would be very helpful. The LC may be able to help you find out why your daughter is screaming at the breast and find strategies to address that. Good luck.

Rachelmizrahi · December 2013

Thank you everyone for your words of encouragement, I read your comments and sat down with him and I made it very clear that I was going to breastfeed and he has to support me because formula is not an option! We agreed to meet with a LC and to learn about BF so we can be on the same page. I think he is finally starting to get it, I hope it will stick. It also helped to explained to him that there are many reasons for a baby's cry, like gas and it's not necessary all about her hunger, it was a very helpful talk, thank you guys

YellowLily2013 · December 2013

Yeah we were there too! Well baby and I both in tears trying to make it work. DH was discouraging since he knew his important to me. But he had no idea how to "fix it" and felt bad for that. Your husband likely wants to "fix it" too that's why he suggested a bottle. But that's not really the right solution for a bfing mama!!
Maybe think of a task he could help you with. Get water, get the boppy, etc. things that help you bf.

Good luck! And glad your conversation went well!

Want a personalized experience?

Resistant husband

Re: Resistant husband

Choose Another Board

Search Boards