Moving!
stephcarter
member
Hey everyone! I know I haven't been over here in a while, but for the most part things have been going ok with SD and BM. SD's older sister got her license and picks up SD for BM so there haven't been too many visitation issues. BM did go a few weeks without heat and was pissed that DH wouldn't let her keep SD overnight without heat, but she got over it.
Anyways, I've got a question about moving. We are in the process of buying a house. It would be easy to show its in SD's best interest to move. Its a bigger house, on a gorgeous lake, its a single family home rather than a townhouse with a big yard. The schools are amazing. Its in the same state, even in the same county, as we are now. Its about 15 minutes from where we are now.
The issue is, I can see BM having a problem with this. There is no bus stop nearby and I'm pretty sure SD's sister isnt going to want to be spending an hour commuting to take SD to BM (SD's sister doesnt even spend time with BM, she just picks up SD, drops her off, and leaves). Anyone here know if BM can fight us moving since we are in the same county and in the best interest of the child simply because she doesn't have a drivers license and it may make things harder on her?
TIA!
ETA - we have primary custody. SD goes to her moms 1 day a week after school until 7pm and every other Saturday from 2pm until 7pm Sunday.
Re: Moving!
Ours specifies distance, and the fact that we have to give 60 days notice in order to allow the other party to bring it back to court to stop the move.
ETA: Honestly, the perks of your new house don't mean diddily squat in this either. We see often enough that a BM who lives with her parents in a two bedroom house and has no job yet never spends more than four hours at a time with child still has primary custody over very involved BD who has a large number where child would have own bedroom and a job that not only provides well but also leaves plenty of family time.
I'm thinking your CO will tell let you know if she can contest the move, but I'm doubting she can for a 15 minute move.
nothing in the CO about moving at all
I have a feeling that shes going to try to fight it. she fought us taking SD to disney world...
Being bigger, on a lake and not a TH aren't really "in the best interest of the child". Perhaps it's time to figure out what you can do to make this less inconvenient for all involved. You are moving, because you want to, and that's fine, but a lot of people are going to be impacted by your move so time to figure out how to minimize that.
@ambrvan when she moved last time (we didn't fight it) she put the fact that they had a pool as an advantage. Also, SD is 10 and has had swim lessons so I'm not sure if she'll be able successfully argue us moving based on the lake. She fought us on Disney World simply because she was mad that she couldn't afford to take her and we could. "It's not fair" was her reasoning. She even told SD (who was 4 at the time) that Disney world was an adults only resort! We did have to go to court. And we won. We now each get two weeks vaca time with her over the summer. BM has never used that time.
She's very bitter. But it's her own fault that she is in the situation she is.
And just because you list subverting in your petition doesn't mean it gets taken into account other than to show you are petty (not taking about you here so don't take that the wrong way). But I do think that if she argued safety in regards to the lake, SD having had swim lessons might help last that to rest.
Like I and others have said, the only thing you really probably have to think about is how to keep the CO and visitation the same. Unless there is a history of BM consistently not taking weeknight visits, a judge probably would not like the idea of cutting those out. But I doubt a fifteen minute change would be enough for a court the warrant that change.
Our old CO said we needed the other parent's permission to move more than 100 miles away and than in the case of any move, the other parent must be notified in writing of address change within 30 days of intended move or as soon as possible.
I'm not sure what it current CO says. I can't remember right now.
I would speak to an attorney, then bend over backwards for Bm to prove that you are trying to ensure Bm continues to have an ongoing relationship with the child.
In our CO we cannot move out of the school district but everyone's is different
Also, and I'm about to sound like a complete bitch here- I think that would be a bit ridiculous. I looked it up, its 27 minutes from her house. Right now we are 18 minutes away. So we should drive a half hour to drop her off after school, drive a half hour back home. Then drive out a half hour to pick her up and another half hour back. 2 hour commute for less than a 4 hour visit? Because we want to move less than 10 minutes further away from her house now. All because she's a loser and lost her license?
It's just so frustrating. I guess we'll find out on Monday when DH tells her we are moving.