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October 2013 Moms
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DH, get it together

LC122LC122 member
in October 2013 Moms
I had a particularly rough Friday yesterday.
DH left DD2 in the car!
We were all going to Music Class and we get breakfast at a nearby coffee shop before. We were running a little late, so he dropped me off to go in and order while he parked. He walks in with just DD1. I thought maybe I didn't see him set down the car seat and ask where DD2 is. He does a Homer Simpson "Doh!"/OMG and runs to the car to get her.
He had parked right out front, so literally 30 ft from where I was standing and I could see the car from the counter. And it took him maybe 45 seconds to walk in, have me notice, and run back to the car, but still. WTF, DH? Should I be afraid to let him take them out without me? If any of you read that horrific article about kids being left in cars and dying, the stories are all more elaborate about distractions and changes to routines and such. This was our normal Friday morning routine and he forgot about her. Heartbreaking.

The night before, DH left our car unlocked and our diaper bag was stolen.
He thinks I'm crazy because I'm obsessed with locking doors - house and car - and I'm always getting onto him about it. The man has locked the keys IN the car 2-3 times just this year. And at least 3 times, he has left his keys dangling in our trunk - twice people on the road flagged us down to tell us, once a Good Samaritan at the zoo put them in our car for us. DRIVES ME CRAZY!

I'm finding it very hard to trust him right now.

I can't decide whether I'm more angry or sad by all of it.

Rant over.
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Re: DH, get it together

  • PalereadheadPalereadhead member
    What is your DH smoking? :p
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  • LC122LC122 member
    He's always been a little scattered and considers it part of his *charm*. I swear he tests the universe in some effort to prove there are good people in the world. The number of times we have run out of gas. . . and usually someone is nice enough to help and I swear it only encourages his irresponsibility.

    But, yeah, he's taken it to a whole new level with leaving DD2 in the car.
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  • Mae208Mae208 member
    I'm sorry :( id be super upset too. Hopefully this is one of those things where he only makes the mistake once, and it will always be in the forefront of his mind from now on. And with the keys and the door locking... He needs to get his shit together in that dept. I'm sorry your bag was stolen, that seriously sucks!
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  • blondolphnblondolphn member
    My dh has an adult form of add. When he takes his meds it is a huge difference in how he functions.
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  • CatieGCatieG member
    I'd cut him some slack. My mom forgot my sister at my aunt's house when she was just a few weeks old. Happens.
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  • SnoopyLuvSnoopyLuv member
    If this is constantly happening, he needs to see someone. Forgetfulness was a huge symptom of my untreated ADD. I was night and day better on medication. I get so frustrated when I forget or lose things, luckily I've never forgotten the kids.
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  • RedZeeRedZee member
    If you think he's just not taking responsibility and testing the universe, then I would give him a talking to and tell him he can test the universe on his own, but not when other people are effected by his actions (so, that behavior is in the past).

    If you think it's him being genuinely forgetful and the behavior is new, I'd take him to a neurologist.
         
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  • PhalaenopsisPhalaenopsis member
    jgslr said:
    He's always been a little scattered and considers it part of his *charm*. I swear he tests the universe in some effort to prove there are good people in the world. The number of times we have run out of gas. . . and usually someone is nice enough to help and I swear it only encourages his irresponsibility. But, yeah, he's taken it to a whole new level with leaving DD2 in the car.
    Ok, that's pretty bad. Please don't be offended by this, I mean it out of genuine concern and with kindness. Have you, or dh, ever thought if him getting tested for ADD or AD/HD? We're pretty sure my husband has ADHD, but it wasn't diagnosed way back when, but he "manages" it well. Though we keep an eye on it and have an agreement to talk about it if needed. I think forgetting gas, and..a baby, might be a sign he may need to see if there is anything that can be done to help him focus and complete tasks. When his forgetfulness is affecting his everyday life, I think looking into treatment options is a possibility to be considered. It literally could be an issue that it's not his fault he's so scattered.

    Great comment. OP, per your descriptions of your husband's "charm"... I'd be concerned there may be something else going on. A hyperactivity disorder is certainly possible, but poor concentration and lack of focus can be signs of depression or anxiety disorders as well. I wouldn't be as much pissed that he left her in the car as i would be freaked out that he forgot about your child. Good luck, hopefully it doesn't happen again.

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  • lawyerlindsaylawyerlindsay member
    I'd be upset, but I would try to cut him some slack. Having a new baby is an adjustment for him too. Talk to him about creating routines. If the issue continued, then I would get more upset and more concerned.
    *Evelyn born 9/20/13*

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