Anyone else have a toddler boy refusing to potty train?

Re: Anyone else have a toddler boy refusing to potty train?

• groovygrl member

  December 2013

  My DS was also a major struggle and still has issues at 4 yrs 4 months though he has been ok w/ pee for awhile. His issue is pooping and he has always had hard poops but I never considered him to be truly constipated b/c he went daily or almost daily & never visibly strained... however, in the last 5-6 months we have realized that he truly has been constipated & it has contributed to this issue, and we think he has relatively mild encopresis. If you suspect any kind of constipation/holding poop in issues, I found the book "The Ins and Outs of Poop" to be really helpful.  We are more successful now w/ several things we've done- I let him pick out 2 special books at the store that are only for the bathroom & we have scheduled potty time that he has to go & sit & try to go. We do after dinner b/c that is his typical going time.  He gets a probiotic & miralax every day, and I found out the hard way that if you stop the miralax once things get better that it will not last...  I also try to really push fruit at each meal and am trying to incorporate more fiberful foods though not too successfully, though I did find a recipe for banana bran muffins that he loves.
  
  Good luck! I also didn't want to push it so we were really pretty lax about it until he was about 4 and then started to suspect bigger issues when the pee was under control for so long but the pooping was going nowhere.
  

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• rsd12 member

  December 2013

  I can only share my experience. But you can't force it. My oldest had no problems with using the potty for going pee. Poop was a whole different issue, we tried everything and then we relaxed. While frustrating, he figured it out on his own. It took just about a year. We were lucky that he still napped and slept in a training pant... So he always waited for bedtime!
  
  My middle son had no issues, he was ready at 25 months!
  
  my youngest was def not ready when I was... Took him almost 2 years (he's 4.3 yrs old now) to keep his underwear completely dry!
  
  If there is family stress too, that does not help.

  Boy 1 2/06 - Boy 2 12/07 - Boy 3 9/09

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• neverblushed member

  December 2013

  I agree with cmeon. 

  
  

  It's common for kids to be pt for pee before they are willing to use their potty for poop.  But in my limited experience, kids who were pt after the age of 4 has had some other issue going on, either physical or emotional.

  
  

  You've got a huge host of issues here that could be playing out in both his behavior and his bathroom situation.  I know you're in a tough spot, and you might have to depend on your mom for help.  I feel like you need to come up with a plan for how to deal with this issue that will satisfy the needs of your son AND satisfy your mom that you're "doing something" about getting your ds potty trained.

  
  

  My son was also pretty stubborn about the potty, and was trained for poop well after pee.  Here's what worked for us:

  
  

  I told him, "Look, buddy, every kid eventually makes ALL their pee and poop in the potty every single time.  One day you will too.  But it's your poop, and you can make it in whatever way you want.  However, you can't poop your pants, because it makes a big mess, it stinks, and it's hard to clean up.  So, here's what you're going to do.  You're going to wear underwear during the day.  When you need to make poop, tell me, and I'll put a diaper on you.  Then you can stand in the bathroom and poop in a diaper.  When you're done, we can take the diaper off, dump the poop in the toilet, and wipe.  Then you'll put your underwear back on.  As long as you tell me ahead of time that you need to poop in a diaper, it's fine.  One day you'll decide to poop on the potty, and you'll already be right there in the bathroom!"

  
  

  My son had a few accidents where he forgot to ask for a diaper.  I just reminded him of the new plan. Pretty soon he was asking for a diaper and standing in the bathroom to poop.  He did this for about 4 months before he decided that this was gross and pooping in the potty was no big deal.

  
  

  Present your mom with a plan, remind her that the stress he's under from the family situation may make this harder for him, and that punishing him will not work.  Get her on board with this plan or something else, and move forward.

  High School English teacher and mom of 2 kids:

  
  

  DD, born 9/06/00 -- 12th grade

  DS, born 8/25/04 -- 7th grade

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• eilatan&nhoj88 member

  December 2013

  All of you that had late potty trainers, did your kids wear diapers to headstart/pre-k? My son will be starting there soon (since our plans for homeschooling aren't going to work out now) and I know they change diapers there. I'm just a little worried about him being picked on by other kids for being in a diaper there.
  

  
  
  

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• groovygrl member

  December 2013

  we did have to be out of diapers for pre-k except for naptime they will put them on... though there is a child w/ some special needs who is still in diapers which is not an issue either.
  

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