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May 2013 Moms
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Passing along baby stuff

MrsM1111MrsM1111 member
in May 2013 Moms
Not sure if this is going to come off the right way, but I'm curious how you might approach the subject -

H's cousin is having a baby in late spring. This will be her second with 6 years in between. She will not be having a shower and we of course want to pass along as much as we can. She will be having a girl, so the boxes of clothes Ab has outgrown will be going to the new baby too.

My question - since H and I plan on having more children (we will start TTC in June) and odds are that we will be having another girl (H is one of 4 males in 2 generations of 30 babies, how can I mention that we'd like to have the baby gear and clothes back once she's outgrown them? With her first, she sold everything to a second hand store once she had outgrown it and I'm not sure if she would do the same with this stuff. With a lot of the clothes, even if we had a boys next, I would want to keep them, but I don't want to not pass them along...

I hope that doesn't come off sounding selfish or unwilling to help H's cousin out.
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Re: Passing along baby stuff

  • MOMama987MOMama987 member
    I'd just tell her - hey, I'd love to lend you some baby clothes. I figure they'll just be sitting in storage 'til we have our next baby, so thought maybe you might want to use them in between. Once she grows out of them, we'll take them back 'til we need them again.

    I think it would be weird for her to sell them without first asking if you want them back.
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  • sundaesprinklessundaesprinkles member
    AllisonO78 said:
    I'd just tell her - hey, I'd love to lend you some baby clothes. I figure they'll just be sitting in storage 'til we have our next baby, so thought maybe you might want to use them in between. Once she grows out of them, we'll take them back 'til we need them again.

    I think it would be weird for her to sell them without first asking if you want them back.
    This. My friend passed down a whole bunch of stuff from her two year old son. I already had a ton of clothes and there was a lot of her clothes I didn't want to keep. I asked her if she wanted anything back and she talked to her DH and they decided the only thing they wanted back in case they had another baby was the Bumbo seat. So I donated everything else I didn't want to keep. I would have never done it without asking her first, but if you want to make sure she doesn't get rid of anything be upfront with her that you want it back.
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  • john5111john5111 member
    I agree youd have to label them somehow otherwise I dont know how youd keep track what was just yours.  Clothes would get all mixed up together!  They def should give it back to you if that is your wish though.
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  • TradeMamaTradeMama member
    I would pick out anything super special and only lend what I wouldn't be heartbroken to part with.
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  • raw1299raw1299 member
    edited December 2013
    I would only loan her things you see yourself not needing or using. Even if she is family, I wouldn't trust her giving it back. When I give someone something, I consider it gone. I would give her a small trash bag of items, and keep 70% for your next future baby. 

    Edit: I would keep the swing, walker and activity saucer as well. 
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  • MrsM1111MrsM1111 member
    Thanks for your input ladies! I'm going to pull my sentimental pieces and be super clear about how soon we plan on #2!
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  • KaricomoKaricomo member
    beaubecca said:

    The only thing I'll add is that if you're agreeing to lend her the items, don't be upset if they don't get returned to you in condition where they're reusable for your next. Hopefully they will, but if she lets her baby make a big old mess and those stains don't come out, or if the dog decides he loves to eat all the LOs pants (not that my dog does this... nope... definitely not...) or if that activity seat comes back with the straps broken and a toy broken off, don't be pissed.

    For this reason I did not borrow anything from anyone and am not planning to offer to lend any family members stuff. Anything we are done with is up for grabs, but if I lend it and expect it back, inevitably it will be returned is unusable condition.

    This, only give her the things u dont really care about getting back. Even though the baby is only drinking milk/formula, clothes will get stained and that would suck if u gave her a bunch of outfits and they all were returned stained
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  • blush64blush64 member
    I would not lend anything. If there was anything I wouldn't mind not getting back I would just give it to her.

    I never took anyone up on an offer to borrow baby clothes because I would not want to have to worry about their condition. The one offer I couldn't refuse was a small bag of clothes that I washed, folded and sent back a few months later unused by my son.

    Things like a crib or furniture can get scratched, stained, broken and ruined. It is probably rwally unlikely but I won't take the chance borrowing or lending.
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  • MrsM1111MrsM1111 member
    I'm not concerned about the stains that may occur. I will be pulling the outfits I'm attached to just in case. It's more about the clothes themselves. We have a ton and if we have another girl, I want to be sure we aren't spending unnecessary money on more. The gear isn't a concern either. The swing was a used, as well as the bassinet, jumperoo, bumbo and Johnny jump up. Even with stains or sctatches, it works the same. Our high chair is the one from when I was a baby so we will be keeping that. None of it I'm worried about being harmed. Now of we had spent the money on a momaroo or fancy cradle, then no way - we wouldn't be passing it along.

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  • MAdams728MAdams728 member
    Sounds like you already know what your plan is, but I never lend anything out that I really expect to get back. I either give it permanently, or keep it. I have separated L's outgrown clothes and passed down the ones that I dont want back. The rest I'm keeping, no matter who might be having a girl. I have almost never been given a loaned item back in the same, or similar, condition, unfortunately. I am also reaaaallly bad about returning things, myself, so I stay away from lending and borrowing.

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