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Toddlers: 12 - 24 Months
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How social is your toddler?

traveltheworldtraveltheworld member
in Toddlers: 12 - 24 Months
Being a paranoid FTM, I worry about everything.  DS (17 months) is very anti-social with other children his age.  I know it should just be parallel play at this point, but it appears that DS doesn't even like parallel play.  For example, DS has very rarely joined in circle time in Gymboree in the past 6 months (whereas the other 12 kids would at least do it sometimes).  When other children are around, he does not seem interested in what other children are playing with, even if they are playing with something really novel (like an iPad, which DS doesn't get at home).  On the other hand, DS will sometimes share food with other children, and do make eye contact with them occasionally.  He is just not engaged with them.  It became really obvious when we went to a few parties on the weekend - there were a few little kids (12 - 36 months), and all the kids were playing in the general area and sort of fighting over the same few toys, whereas DS was completely detached and either sat in a different side of the room and played with a shape sorter or came looking for us to read to him. 
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Re: How social is your toddler?

  • traveltheworldtraveltheworld member
    Oh I should add that DS is very affectionate with us.  He is ok with other adults - not very friendly, but quite normal.  It's his interactions with other children that seem abnormal.
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  • traveltheworldtraveltheworld member

    He does go to DC 3 days/week.  I guess I'm concerned because of how different he seems compared to our friends' kids; and to a lesser extent, the other children at Gymboree.  We have 3 sets of friends who all have LO within a month of DS, and we get together often.  Now that the kids are older, the 3 other little kids would often play with each other - or at least be within the same vicinity as each other; whereas DS is often on his own.  I have no experience with little children other than what I see now, so I simply don't know what is considered "normal".

     

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  • khill86khill86 member
    DS is 18 months. DS runs up to other toddlers or kids in stores if he's not contained somehow. If he is, he'll turn his head to watch them. He tried hugging and kissing a girl a few months older that he just met.

    I find DS to be exceptionally friendly. We were at a "Celebration of Life" last weekend and he had no problem running away from us and checking out what other adults were doing. He'd even ask them to sit on their lap and brought books for them to read, or dug through a lady's purse (which she invited and allowed). He shared a snack with a stranger (to him, but his great aunt), too. I'm on the opposite end of things and wonder if he's too friendly. He rarely makes strange (although he did when he was younger). He will cling to me or DH if he really doesn't feeling like going to someone (even someone familiar). But if he's in a good mood in an interesting place, he's in everyone's business.

    I, too, am unsure what "normal" seems to be. At this point I'm not worried, but I guess it's something I'm aware of. I think if you're really concerned, a talk with the doctor can't hurt. I think with being social, there's another personality element there, not just hard and fast "warning signs," you know? I know you're not supposed to compare, but it can be easier said than done!
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  • ashiscuteashiscute member
    Is he like that with other adults or only other small children?  My DD was very quiet when she was that age.  She mainly stared at people (adults and kids).  She would play around other kids sometimes but mainly kept a safe distance.  By the time she turned 2 she started doing much better.  She's almost 3 and it seems like in the last few months she's really starting to like other kids. 

    I wouldn't worry about it at this point honestly (I know, easier said than done!)
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  • bruinjamie21bruinjamie21 member
    I think it sounds perfectly normal. My 17 month old DS does the same thing at Gymboree, he's usually the only one that runs away during circle time, but I think it's because he's really into discovering the room, and exploring, and, as the teachers say, "he's so independent!" On the other hand, we'll go to restaurants where he'll run away and try to join strange adults at their table, so he's super friendly, almost to a fault. I wouldn't worry about it. 
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  • ELF4321ELF4321 member
    DD has always been a bit of an introvert. It's really only been in the last couple of weeks that she has started showing interest in other kids, but it was a really noticeable change when it started. She's just over 19m now. I wouldn't worry about your LO at this point.


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  • laurelita42laurelita42 member
    My DD is quite shy as well. Social at home, but still clams up when we have our 'toddler time' at the library or anything like that. She's just starting to come around now- she might be persuaded to wave at someone in the store, and maybe share a toy with someone at playgroup. She used to keep completely to herself. Don't worry too much yet!
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  • emberlee3emberlee3 member
    DS was very shy at that age.  He still prefers not to talk to people (adults or children) that he doesn't know.  He loves playing with other children, it just takes him a little time to warm up.  DD is a social butterfly and yells, "Hi!" to people on the other side of the grocery store.  Your LO sounds fine.
    DS born 8/8/09 and DD born 6/12/12.
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  • JayandEmmJayandEmm member
    Ds is not social with other children at all, but he's very friendly with adults. We went to a birthday party for a 1 year old and there were several children under age 3, but he chose to chat it up with the birthday boy's great grandmother (who he has never met).

    I just assume he chooses adults over children because he's an only child and not in daycare.
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  • beautiflawbeautiflaw member
    I think its probably normal. Most kids this young aren't into playing with others. I'd only be concerned if he was trying to take stuff away from other kids, or being aggressive with them. Some kids just prefer to be in their own little worlds. If he's in kindergarten and he's still having trouble making friends, I might get concerned a little bit. But some kids, even from a young age, are really picky with their friends. He may grow up to be the type to have a few super close, majorly awesome friends as opposed to the type to have a ton of superficial not as close friends.
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