C-sections

Timing of visitors after a scheduled section

Hi everyone,

I'll be having my third section in early May. I'm already stressing about when to allow visitors and hurting family member's feelings. To provide some background, I had a very bad delivery with DS #1 that resulted in injuries to me and him and an emerg section. Some of my hubby's family members were less than compassionate and even complained about how long they had to wait for the baby to come.  Because of this, with DS #2, when we found out that my VBAC was being converted to an unplanned section, hubby did not tell his family until after the section was done and I was out of recovery. To be fair, I also did not tell my family. His mother & sister were extremely upset and didn't speak to us for quite awhile. My family was fine with it. So we know that the next DC will be delivered by scheduled section. We are going to tell them the date but wondering about when we should allow visitors? I know we'll need to be firm because his mom & sister have very little sense of what is appropriate and are extrememly outspoken about their demands. I want them to meet our baby but if they come immediately after I'm out of recovery, I'm worried that I'll barely get a chance to hold the baby. However, I really want my family to be there right away and it wouldn't be fair to allow my family and not his. No idea what a good solution would be....just trying to ponder our options at this point. Thoughts or suggestions?? TIA

image 

DS #1: May 25, 2007

DS #2: Jan 7, 2009

DD #3 due May 17, 2014!!! Low lying placenta and DD measuring 1 week ahead at big u/s

Re: Timing of visitors after a scheduled section

  • Don't drive yourself crazy because you never know how things will end up. I had three CS scheduled but the first 2 times I went into labor early and had to figure things out as we went. This time I made it to the end. My parents and 2 sisters and DHs parent chose to come wait in the waiting room. We were delayed 2 hours due to emergencies. The hospital would have allowed them 2 at a time in recovery but I didn't tell them and used that as our time alone with LO. Then LO went to the nursery and I to my room. His temperature was 98.5 but it had to hit 98.6 before they would let him out of the nursery which ended up taking over 4 hours. I had everyone in my room staring at each other then when he arrived I had to breastfeed so I got him anyway. Everyone got sick of waiting and left except my sister. I find it easier to see everyone right away while my pain was still well controlled and I didn't need to get out of bed like you do the next day. I would let them come right away then ask for some alone time the next day.
  • I had an emergency c-section with DD1 and I will be having a RCS on Monday with DD2. With DD1 I was in recovery, alone, for about an hour and a half. During that time, DH and DD were in the nursery while she was checked on, given her shot and all that stuff, then washed up a little. Once I got to our room, she came in there to nurse. After she nursed, the nurses took her back to the nursery to give her an actual bath. It wasn't until then that people were coming in to see us together. I believe my family came in first. I didn't have a problem with it since I had already nursed her and everything.

    Started back on BC May, 2010; Had last shot on Aug. 2010
    TTC starting in November, 2010; Irregular cycles- went to Dr
    U/S showed cysts on both ovaries; Diag. Lap on March 1st, 2011
    Lap showed that my right fal. tube is centered, instead of to the right
    Left fal. tube is disjointed
    uterus is tilted and the size of a softball, not a pear.
    BFP on 8-30-11, 9-2-11, and 9-4-11.
    EDD is May 14, 2012. :)
    Babygirl born on April 16, 2012.

    Daisypath Anniversary tickers
    Lilypie Premature Baby tickers
  • Loading the player...
  • We were scheduled for 8:00am so I told family that we would call when we were out of recovery, just in case we got bumped. We also gave them a heads up that the call probably wouldn't happen till noon if everything went as planned. Everyone waited at my in laws' house (15 min away) and we made the call at 11:30. We had "just us" time and I had a chance to feed them before family arrived. Granted, our families are pretty good about respecting our wishes.

    If you think MIL and SIL will show up regardless, you could ask the nurses to help you. They are usually politely firm about it and some will even state medical reason/hospital policy/doctor's orders that you have no visitors till a certain time post-c/s. To head off issues between families, you should definitely tell them all at the same time. If they're going to be unreasonable again and won't speak to you, that's really their problem and unfortunately there probably isn't much you can do to avoid it.
    J13 May Siggy Challenge: People lacking in common sense raise my blood pressure.
    image

    imageimage
    DD 8/11 | DS1 7/13 | DS2 7/13
  • we had a planned c-section and I didn't have visitors (other than my parents) until the next day. I was pretty out of it due to meds and complications after surgery.

    don't stress about it- make sure you and baby are ready for visitors. if they have to wait, so be it!
  • I would honestly probably be a little vague on the timing and just say you'll call when you're ready. No one needs to know whether the procedure will be done at 10am or 12, etc. good luck! Managing visitors can be more stressful than having a baby!
    BabyFruit Ticker   AlternaTickers - Cool, free Web tickers
    image
  • I had DD via unplanned CS and it was very late at night;  my parents were there but didn't see the baby until after I nursed/DH and I had some time.  I slept for a few hours and then DHs family showed up.  I was exhausted and really not ready for visitors (I think it was 7am).  For DS I had a schedule RCS but I went into labor/had him early.  I had him at 1am and didn't let anyone visit until dinner time--DH and I both agreed on this and he told his side of the family.  I also told friends beforehand that they could visit us at home/I wanted the hospital time.for me, DD and DH.  With DD we had visitors all the time and I got no rest.  Everyone was great about it and IMHO even if they weren't tough--it was about my family.  
    That being said, enlist DH's help in making a plan since it involves both your families
    Lilypie Third Birthday tickers Lilypie Fifth Birthday tickers
  • edited December 2013
    It took a lot of arm twisting to convince my MIL to wait at home during my csection and not come to the hospital with us in the morning (they only allow 1 person in the OR and recovery anyways, so she would have been in the waiting room for hours) My csection was scheduled at 9am and it was about 1pm by the time we were settled in a room in the maternity ward. We called her then to come over. It was nice to have a little alone time with just DH and DD and to attempt to breastfeed before anyone showed up. Our friends came to visit over the next 2 days.
  • I forgot to mention that my family lives 2.5 hours away and DH's family lives about 1.5-2 hrs away so it complicates things a little. They'll probably also expect to sleep over at our house. *sigh*

    image 

    DS #1: May 25, 2007

    DS #2: Jan 7, 2009

    DD #3 due May 17, 2014!!! Low lying placenta and DD measuring 1 week ahead at big u/s

  • With DD1, I had no visitors for my entire visit.  I was also single, so I was there by myself for the whole time and enjoyed the uninterrupted bonding time with her.

    With DD2, my plan was to not have anyone but myself and DH there for the same reason.  However, on the day I delivered her, my mother passed away so DD1 and some other family members showed up on day 2 to break the news.
  • The user and all related content has been deleted.
  • I had a similar problem but we didnt allow anyone in the hospital while I was in labor. I delivered via emergency csection at midnight and my MIL was in the hospital at 8am. This time, I'm just going to say I know how things go and I won't be ready for visitors until a full day after the csection, when I can take a shower, change, when I can rest and when I'm not as drugged up on pain killers. They probably won't like it but I don't care. This is about my family (hubby son and new baby) not them.
    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker

    BabyFruit Ticker
This discussion has been closed.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards
"
"