Would this be a concern to you?

shella923 · December 2013

So....I posted before about the Christmas celebration at my mom's tomorrow. Well turns out my cousin, who I rarely see, is going. We found out he was bipolar a couple of years ago and had an incident once where he became violent and his mother had to call the police. Because of this, people in my family are concerned about having the kids around him. But it's like we can't tell him he can't come! And as far as I have read, people who are bipolar don't just suddently snap! He's been texting me and seems like he's ok. Anyone have experience with this?

persephonerose · December 2013

TL;DR: Short answer. If he is taking his medications he is probably ok. I wouldn't leave my kids alone with him in a room. And I would watch for any sudden change in his behavior and let DH know to be aware so that if something goes wrong he can step in and get some separation between the kids and cousin.

My mom is bipolar. When she is medicated she does fairly well in social settings. However, if she is not taking her medication she can very easily and suddenly "snap". Her moods tend to fluctuate from hot to cold really quick with no medication. But bipolar is not the same for every person. Just because he seems ok now does not mean that he will make it an entire day being ok.

The approach with take with my mother is that as long as she is taking her meds we allow her to visit. But we never leave her alone with D and someone is always tracking her behavior so that if she seems like she is getting out of control she can be moved to another room or out of the house. She does pretty well on her meds so it does not worry me as much now.

But as a kid we had many many knock down drag out fist fights between my mom and other family members on Christmas day because my mom refused to take her meds or lied about taking her meds. I have quite a number of (now) funny stories about black eyes, ER trips, and destroyed Christmas trees and presents.