Grandma daycare, payment

VitaLuna · December 2013

My mom will be watching LO when I go back to work next month since DC is full. My mom still works, but she's going to modify her schedule to watch her 3 days a week (I work 3-12s). She will watch her until H gets home at 6.

I told her I would pay her, but she doesn't want to take any money. I still want to pay her anyway. How much would you give her? She makes good money at her job, so it's not something that she necessarily needs, but something that I feel like I need/want to do.

Also, she will be watching her both at her house and mine. What kind of stuff do I need to send her house to have for DD?

Thanks!

jf198400 · December 2013

My mom watched DD at her house when she was a baby. She had at her house: crib, sheets, changing pad, diapers, wipes, bottles, bottle warmer, blankets, bibs and burp cloths, bouncy chair, toys, play mat, stroller, car seat base, exersaucer, baby gates for the stairs. You can use a pack n play instead of a crib.
Each week I sent over a bunch of extra clothes. I provided milk daily. My mom took care of washing the bottles and would do some laundry too.
No advice on payment, I didn't pay my mom.

82Sonia · December 2013

Since she doesn't want to be paid but you want to show your appreciation, you could set up and pay for spa days for her. Who would say no to that?

VitaLuna · December 2013

Hmm.. That's a good idea about the spa thing. She will be our exclusive DCP for probably at least a year, if not longer. I just feel like she needs some reimbursement, because she wasn't planning on watching her 3x/wk, but decided to after I couldn't find anyone else.

ss+el · December 2013

My parents watched DS 1-2 days/week for a while when he was an infant. I didn't pay them, but once in a while, I'd stick a restaurant gift card in his diaper bag or take them out to eat.
I only kept diapers and wipes at their house. I didn't want them to have to keep a bunch of stuff around.

djm31012 · December 2013

Not sure where u live but my SIL watches DS 2 days per week and I pay her 100 per day.

VitaLuna · December 2013

ClaryPax said:
Oh I thought she was only watching the baby for a month or two until space was found in the day care. Maybe a family rate of 100 per week?

Unfortunately, it looks like it will be a long time for the DC. They always have a waiting list, and priority goes to FT kids. It's not that the center is that fabulous or anything.. It's just the only one in town that will take infants.

Thank you for the lists, @jf198400 and others. I was thinking it would be expensive to get stuff for her house for LO, but realized it's super cheap compared to paying DC costs!

mrsseguin · December 2013

DH's cousin watches DD a few days a week. She used to work in a DC and send her son to an in home DC. She paid her DCP $4/hr, that's what she charges us.

When either grandparent watches the kids, we don't pay them.

jf198400 · December 2013

VitaLuna said:

Oh I thought she was only watching the baby for a month or two until space was found in the day care. Maybe a family rate of 100 per week?
Unfortunately, it looks like it will be a long time for the DC. They always have a waiting list, and priority goes to FT kids. It's not that the center is that fabulous or anything.. It's just the only one in town that will take infants. Thank you for the lists, @jf198400 and others. I was thinking it would be expensive to get stuff for her house for LO, but realized it's super cheap compared to paying DC costs!

You dont have to spend a lot on extra equipment, if you have a packnplay at Grandma's, you probably dont need one at home (we only used ours for traveling really). I left the bouncy seat and exersaucer at my moms, and had a swing and a jumperoo at home. You could also shop craigslist or consignment sales or get handme downs from other mom friends.

VitaLuna · December 2013

I'm going to send her bouncer and PnP over. We use the swing at home, and the PnP is being used for laundry waiting to be folded

I think I'm going to send extra clothes and a few packs of diapes and wipes over for her to keep there, since H will be responsible for drop offs, and I'm pretty sure he's going to forget the diaper bag more than once.

ks3pink · December 2013

My step-grandmother got very upset when we tried to pay her once. We so little things all along and this year for Christmas we got her a kindle. I can't wait for her to open it, she's gonna be so excited!

ccam · December 2013

My SIL watches DS twice a week and he goes to DC the other 3 days. We do not pay her. This was a situation where she really just wanted to spend time with him and she only works 2 days a week, so she could do it. It was understood from the beginning that we wouldn't be paying her, she would probably be insulted if we tried to! We do get her really nice gifts for her birthday and Christmas, plus we spoil her 2 kids.

ETA: And she already had a pack n play and a bouncer. We rotate toys and replace things as he has gotten older. We supply all diapers, wipes, food and milk. We leave a change of clothes at her house along with diaper cream, Tylenol, a thermometer, bibs and burp clothes (for when he was younger).

SimpleComplexity · December 2013

As another suggested pay her in spa days, gift cards to her fav places to eat, gas cards, etc. Every couple weeks just slip her a little something versus actually trying to pay her cash.

VitaLuna · December 2013

mystererae said:
Can you pay for maid service?

Pay my m? Or pay someone separate? I actually think we will be having someone come in to clean every 2w, just so my mom doesn't feel like she needs to do it. I'm a terrible housekeeper, and I'm finally leaning to accept the fact that I need some help if my house is going to be clean!

oughtonk · December 2013

My mom has been watching my son for years, at first she didn't want to charge me but I started slipping cash into her wallet until she would sit down and talk to me about it. Now I pay her $20 a day and take over clothes, buy food and occasionally give her a bonus in the form of a restaurant gift card my parents like to go to or pedicures. I felt bad not paying her because she also had to change her work schedule and just works on the weekends and 1 night during the week.

I'm now pregnant with twins and she will be watching them as well as taking my son to and from school. We haven't worked out what I'm going to pay her for the two but I will be making sure she's getting something.

VitaLuna · December 2013

I asked my mom again what she would accept as payment. She said she wanted us to use the money to get a housekeeper. Haha... I guess our house is messier than I thought. She also wanted some of what we would pay put into a college savings plan for LO.

Thank you all for the advice. I think I will still give her a couple hundred a month in a gift card to a difference place each month.

groovygrl · December 2013

I see your last response but I think that is the best thing if she really doesn't need the $ and wouldn't want to accept it...I would do spa g.c.'s and favorite restaurant g.c's if she likes ot eat out or gifts to other things she likes (movie tickets if she is a big moviegoer, etc)...maybe even a night out w/ you where you treat her to dinner somewhere nice every so often to do a nice dinner & spend time together outside of w/ the baby.
Funny about the housekeeper though...maybe she just doesnt want to feel like she has to keep it super clean...either way it is good idea!

vic8504 · December 2013

My mom watches DD and I do not pay her. I always buy her a larger Christmas gift than I would have before she watched DD. Like this year I bought her a whole new set of pots and pans since her old ones were wearing out. Then throughout the year I will buy her a couple random things that she needs or wants.

Skalbrecht · December 2013

I personally wouldn't ask my mother, even though she is my best friend, to watch our baby for free. If she wouldn't accept payment I would definitely find other means of compensation- maybe a new ipad or tv for Christmas, etc. the spa day idea is fun too - who doesn't like a little pampering? Maybe a weekend away to a b&b?

LoCarb · December 2013

If she won't accept pymt maybe you can gift a weekly gas card

alyshamarie007 · January 2014

My mom left her part time job in order to watch ds. Since she is losing income I offered to pay her. I pay $600 a month which is a little less than daycare would cost. I save a little money and get to have my baby with someone I completely trust and who I know will give him excellent care and love. I also have great flexibility.

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