Truth poll #3

jenmbott · December 2013

Have you ever cheated on a significant other? (Strictly speaking physical cheating (kissing,sex etc..) not emotional cheating)

kbbgg · December 2013

Not gorgeous George but totally a previous serious partner. Regrets? I don't think so. I fessed up and we broke up.

BeebopandBuddy · December 2013

I've never acted on them, but thoughts have crossed my mind.

MississippiCatfish · December 2013

These results were surprisingly high to me! I must be naive.

thebanich · December 2013

I'm not really sure how to answer this. I was talking to a guy (J) and spent some time with him ( he lived 8 hours away) and then I went home and didn't hear from him for a week. There was another guy (DH) that was pursuing me and I never actively tried to contact J again after that. A month later J texted me in the middle of the night (drunk off his ass) and told me that I was a bitch and he would just log it away as another one night stand. DH and I didn't kiss until after all this happened.

Typing this out, I guess the answer is no.

cmumama · December 2013

I cheated on my last long term boyfriend (and he cheated on me too). We had a horrible relationship (obviously).

willy_gert · December 2013

MississippiCatfish said:

These results were surprisingly high to me! I must be naive.

Same here.

Flamingemu · December 2013

I cheated on my first college boyfriend, then my second one cheated on me. I figure that was karma.

willy_gert · December 2013

I have been cheated on by two different BF's.... It sucked.

hmp1 · December 2013

No. I dated around a lot but the few somewhat serious relationships I had, I ended when I wasn't feeling it anymore.

Stasi · December 2013

I've cheated on most of my boyfriends in the past...it's not something I'm proud of.

Unknown · December 2013

This content has been removed.

Hyaline · December 2013

Never cheated, never cheated on.

I'd be curious to see another poll with emotional cheating included...even though I know that's harder to define.

I've definitely cheated emotionally.

Cheenomae · December 2013

shiggybop said:

I never really cheated, but I flirted and danced with other guys while with previous boyfriends. I felt guilty enough to consider it cheating.

If this is cheating or considered cheating by some then I fear I'm in big trouble!

danabsd · December 2013

I cheated on my HS boyfriend when I got to college, we broke up during the turkey drop. Even if I hadn't cheated that relationship wasn't going to make it.
I never have nor will I ever cheat on my husband. That's completely different territory.

cmumama · December 2013

Hyaline said:

Never cheated, never cheated on.

I'd be curious to see another poll with emotional cheating included...even though I know that's harder to define.

I've definitely cheated emotionally.

I've emotionally cheated as well.

willy_gert · December 2013

dimples12 said:

Cheated on a guy I was dating senior year. BF was not serious but still wasn't right. Guy I messed with? Nothing there either.

I have struggled certainly with being attracted to someone else while married to DH. BFF kept me accountable to be faithful to DH as much as possible in my thoughts, DH and I worked on our stuff. DH knows that I was attractive to dude but also knows I was faithful. Dude did not know. We have a pact that we would bow out if we wanted to act on it.

DH says that he would leave me before he would cheat on me. I don't find that comforting at all! I want to know that you aren't looking. I have definitely had attraction to another guy while married to DH, but it was never an option to let it get to a point where I would even consider letting something happen.

melody921 · December 2013

Banich4eva said:

I'm not really sure how to answer this. I was talking to a guy (J) and spent some time with him ( he lived 8 hours away) and then I went home and didn't hear from him for a week. There was another guy (DH) that was pursuing me and I never actively tried to contact J again after that. A month later J texted me in the middle of the night (drunk off his ass) and told me that I was a bitch and he would just log it away as another one night stand. DH and I didn't kiss until after all this happened.

Typing this out, I guess the answer is no.

That doesn't count. When I first met DH, I was talking to him and talking to another guy (hadn't been on a date with either). The other guy was younger, kind of immature and I just sensed we weren't ever going to connect, so I dropped the ball and stopped calling him back, kept talking to DH and we started dating a couple of weeks after.

melody921 · December 2013

BunkinMama said:

I have never cheated on DH or any previous BFs.

I have been cheated on 3 times now. WTF? Makes me feel undesirable.

I was cheated on once (that I know of), and it royally sucked. It totally shook my faith in other people.

thebanich · December 2013

melody921 said:

Banich4eva said:

I'm not really sure how to answer this. I was talking to a guy (J) and spent some time with him ( he lived 8 hours away) and then I went home and didn't hear from him for a week. There was another guy (DH) that was pursuing me and I never actively tried to contact J again after that. A month later J texted me in the middle of the night (drunk off his ass) and told me that I was a bitch and he would just log it away as another one night stand. DH and I didn't kiss until after all this happened.

Typing this out, I guess the answer is no.

That doesn't count. When I first met DH, I was talking to him and talking to another guy (hadn't been on a date with either). The other guy was younger, kind of immature and I just sensed we weren't ever going to connect, so I dropped the ball and stopped calling him back, kept talking to DH and we started dating a couple of weeks after.

It just felt weird because I spent a weekend with J and we had (really bad) sex and then we never spoke again. He was also really immature and kind of crazy.

willy_gert · December 2013

dimples12 said:

willy_gert said:

dimples12 said:

Cheated on a guy I was dating senior year. BF was not serious but still wasn't right. Guy I messed with? Nothing there either.

I have struggled certainly with being attracted to someone else while married to DH. BFF kept me accountable to be faithful to DH as much as possible in my thoughts, DH and I worked on our stuff. DH knows that I was attractive to dude but also knows I was faithful. Dude did not know. We have a pact that we would bow out if we wanted to act on it.

DH says that he would leave me before he would cheat on me. I don't find that comforting at all! I want to know that you aren't looking. I have definitely had attraction to another guy while married to DH, but it was never an option to let it get to a point where I would even consider letting something happen.

Chemistry is organic, whereas feelings develop from choices IMO. I certainly was not looking. At that time (early in our marriage), I was disgruntled with DH but not trying to find a new partner.

We both understand that we are not to let attraction develop into feelings for someone else. I hear what you are saying, but to me, it is comforting for DH and I to acknowledge that chemistry is a possibility, but acting on chemistry - feelings or sexually or emotionally is not permitted.

I get what you are saying, but I think we are saying the same thing just differently. I understand chemistry. I understand the chemistry I had with the other guy, but when DH says I would leave you before cheating it isn't acknowledged in the way you and your DH acknowledge it. Does that make sense?

I am just overly sensitive about cheating and divorce, especially now, because I recently found out that the affair that ended my parent's marriage was a very short one, like only happened once or twice and my dad only knew the woman for a very short time and she went after him hardcore. All of that info from my mom that I NEVER knew until now. I was always under the impression, apparently one that I made for myself, that my dad had this long term girlfriend and that he went after her, etc. Just a lot of new information.

Bluebird2318 · December 2013

Yes, once, but not on DH. I was in a very long-distance relationship with someone when I was young (18) and incredibly stupid. I had been trying to break it off for awhile, but the guy I was dating wouldn't handle my attempts to end it well and I would back out of it. Some local guy started making advances, and I am ashamed to admit that I made my decision consciously in order to force myself to break it off with my boyfriend for good. I confessed it to my boyfriend the very next day and ended the relationship (though he was still protesting). I definitely regret that I hurt my ex (though we ended up friends on good terms afterward). I should have had the balls to break up with him in a respectable way, but like I said: young and incredibly stupid. I could never do it again; it was a miserable experience.

ETA: I have been cheated on also. Potentially twice by the same guy, although on one occasion the most I can imagine that happened was that they chatted/web-cammed and she sent him pictures. I'm fairly certain that it happened, but he never admitted to it. The other time he actually went to visit a girl, and admitted to it after I caught him in the lie. I also dated an abusive douchebag in high school, and I wouldn't be surprised if he cheated on me as well, but I really have no idea if he did or not.

Being cheated on and being the one doing the cheating were pretty equally hurtful.

Holly_1007 · December 2013

Bluebird2318 said:

Yes, once, but not on DH. I was in a very long-distance relationship with someone when I was young (18) and incredibly stupid. I had been trying to break it off for awhile, but the guy I was dating wouldn't handle my attempts to end it well and I would back out of it. Some local guy started making advances, and I am ashamed to admit that I made my decision consciously in order to force myself to break it off with my boyfriend for good. I confessed it to my boyfriend the very next day and ended the relationship (though he was still protesting). I definitely regret that I hurt my ex (though we ended up friends on good terms afterward). I should have had the balls to break up with him in a respectable way, but like I said: young and incredibly stupid. I could never do it again; it was a miserable experience.

ETA: I have been cheated on also. Potentially twice by the same guy, although on one occasion the most I can imagine that happened was that they chatted/web-cammed and she sent him pictures. I'm fairly certain that it happened, but he never admitted to it. The other time he actually went to visit a girl, and admitted to it after I caught him in the lie. I also dated an abusive douchebag in high school, and I wouldn't be surprised if he cheated on me as well, but I really have no idea if he did or not.

Being cheated on and being the one doing the cheating were pretty equally hurtful.

If I were to write a response to this poll, this is exactly what mine would say as well. Very similar experiences here, sorry you had to go through that.

1fish2fish · December 2013

HS school boyfriend...in Cancun for senior week. We broke up soon after.

Bluebird2318 · December 2013

Holly_1007 said:

Bluebird2318 said:

Yes, once, but not on DH. I was in a very long-distance relationship with someone when I was young (18) and incredibly stupid. I had been trying to break it off for awhile, but the guy I was dating wouldn't handle my attempts to end it well and I would back out of it. Some local guy started making advances, and I am ashamed to admit that I made my decision consciously in order to force myself to break it off with my boyfriend for good. I confessed it to my boyfriend the very next day and ended the relationship (though he was still protesting). I definitely regret that I hurt my ex (though we ended up friends on good terms afterward). I should have had the balls to break up with him in a respectable way, but like I said: young and incredibly stupid. I could never do it again; it was a miserable experience.

ETA: I have been cheated on also. Potentially twice by the same guy, although on one occasion the most I can imagine that happened was that they chatted/web-cammed and she sent him pictures. I'm fairly certain that it happened, but he never admitted to it. The other time he actually went to visit a girl, and admitted to it after I caught him in the lie. I also dated an abusive douchebag in high school, and I wouldn't be surprised if he cheated on me as well, but I really have no idea if he did or not.

Being cheated on and being the one doing the cheating were pretty equally hurtful.

If I were to write a response to this poll, this is exactly what mine would say as well. Very similar experiences here, sorry you had to go through that.

Thank you, and the same to you. All were highly unpleasant experiences for sure, but I definitely learned something from each of them and matured as a result, which is a good thing.

fireflygirl12 · December 2013

Yes, I have cheated and I have also been the other girl, but it was in high school. Never on DH in the 12 years we have been together.

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