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Flushing Toilet

TaylorHam86TaylorHam86 member
in Blended Families
Lurker here hoping for some help. How do I get my stepsons to flush the toilet? They live 9 hours away so we don't get them very often, therefore it is difficult to be consistent with them. They do not flush the toilet, and can't seem to remember to put the lid down, so they are no longer allowed to use the half-bath downstairs. Partly because we want our house to be presentable for guest, and partly because our dogs were drinking out of the toilet after them - ew! So we have that problem solved at least, they know now not to use that bathroom. But they still don't flush upstairs. Their bedroom and playroom are the only rooms upstairs, so my husband and I don't spend much time up there. They don't spend much time up there either during the day, except to use the restroom. So when we go to tuck them in at night, I realize/remember the toilet has not been flushed all day. Any advice? They are both 7 years old.

I know a lot of the situations on this board are situations where you just have to let life at BM's house be as it is, but is this one of them? Flushing the toilet should be a necessary habit, no?
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Re: Flushing Toilet

  • nurrieumnurrieum member
    It's your home, you dictate what happens there. I would be check continuously during the day when they're home (bacteria can build up ocky) and have them flush. The positive reinforcement is great! Don't shame them just explain why it needs to happen and praise them.

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  • +just+j++just+j+ member
    Your last comment....are you asking that you take this up with BM about what happens in her home? Or are you just asking if this is just an important habit in general? I would not take it up with BM. It's not that big of an issue. But yes, it is important they follow basic rules in your home. And it's going to take work on your part to address it more than just at night. If this is a huge issue with you in your home, then you should check the bathroom in the morning after they get up, after lunch, in the middle of the afternoon, after dinner, and then at bedtime. And if you find the toilet not flushed....who flushes? You? If so, stop it. Find them and make them stop what they are doing and make them do it. A reward system is a good idea. Find what motivates them and when they arrive, go over the important rules of the house and tell them what they get if they do well and what happens when they don't. Rewards and consequences.
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  • ldmessingldmessing member
    make them clean the bathroom before the go back to their mothers house.  show them exactly what needs to be done, then inspect afterward.  stop stressing if you don't go in there often
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  • Pinkpenguin+Pinkpenguin+ member
    edited December 2013
    Do they just forget? Maybe a remember to flush sign? A small reminder in the bathroom may solve the problem.
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  • TaylorHam86TaylorHam86 member
    Thanks for all of your advice. To clarify, no, I don't plan on taking this up with BM. I just wondered if this might be one of those battles I shouldn't pick. My husband and I have to remind each other that while they're not used to being with us and living by our rules, we're also not used to living with children full time and it's our responsibility to be more attentive to little things, like is laundry in the hamper, is the bed made, is the toilet flushed, etc. We're hardly go upstairs if they're not staying with us. That will change soon with this LO on the way, but it's a process for all of us. I appreciate all your feedback!
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  • dannie2011dannie2011 member
    Oh heck I have 3 boys 16 and up. It seems to be teenage boy thing for us( was). I have them clean the bathroom and then every time I noticed one of them coming out I'd ask them if they flushed. It took a bit of remembering for all of us but they got better. That or it's because they are older now.

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  • SigirSigir member
    -auntie- said:

    Boys are flaky.


    I really don't like the concept of banning them from a communal bathroom; as a mom that would piss me off. Especially since you're putting your not-so-well-trained dogs ahead of people. Urine is pretty much sterile and your dogs probably lick their own asses, so I'm not buying the whole sanitary thing.

    Still it is gross. You could post a reminder. Or you could interupt whatever they're doing and send them back to the bathroom to flush and wash their hands. Good luck with the lid down thing. 
    Ita w auntie, I think it's wrong to ban them frm the 1/2 bath for the same reasons she mentioned. I would hang a sign in each room- that works for my dc.

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