VENT Oh DH, you are in for a WORLD of pain — The Bump
July 2013 Moms

VENT Oh DH, you are in for a WORLD of pain

Tonight (after his happy hour with work friends) DH said the following: "I don't think you realize how badly I need to sleep right now." "I have to go to work tomorrow...but my job brings home the money!" "If you have a bad day you can sit DD1 in front of the TV and stick DD2 on our boob and relax." After this, he fell asleep on the couch while I was (of course) putting DD2 to bed, which took 5ish hours tonight. So, on Saturday I will be nursing the baby then leaving him with both kids and a mess of a house to have lunch and a movie, like an adult with no one needing me to wipe their butt or feed them. Then we will discuss his remarks (these were just the golden ones, there were more) until I feel better. He's not aware of my plan, but he isn't on call for work, we have no plans, and for the first time in 7 years his studying for school is not a priority over my sanity. I'm taking some time for me, dammit! TL;DR: DH turned into a bit of a chauvinist tonight and He. Will. Pay.
Two under two, here we come!
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Re: VENT Oh DH, you are in for a WORLD of pain

  • Mine does this, too! I mean, yeah his PT at 6am sucks and all but since they're about to go on leave they haven't done shit around his company or battalion this whole week. He'll come up to me, kiss my cheek and tell me how sorry he is that he didn't help around the house or with Noah much but he's just too stressed and sleep deprived and sore to be able to do anything. But oh, he'll help tomorrow. Uh huh. -.-

    I feel kinda bad though. I know he really really misses being deployed. He isn't a good garrison solider but he is an outstanding deployed soldier. I know that this is what is causing him a great deal of stress at work and it makes him have a short temper with people who outrank him. I told him he's beyond lucky that his LT loves him, hates his team leader, and forgives him for everything DH yells at his team leader or he would be in a much worse situation
    Married 12.20.2010
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  • Oooooohhhhhh noooooo he didn't. :O
    Stina2012LauraB1016
  • Oh lord! Make it a long movie!!

  • You would not be out of line to give him a nut punch! And cat poop in his Christmas stocking.
    [Deleted User][Deleted User]summerandmatt[Deleted User]
  • Enjoy your Saturday! You deserve it.

    image
  • Good luck to him! Ha!

    summerandmatt
  • As someone who works full time and is taking two Grad classes, I definitely understand the need for sleep. My job is very stressful at times and it so hard to be on point without sleep. You can never predict what day your body will end up crashing.

    That being said, he can communicate that to you without being a dick. Staying at home is not easy. Please make sure you take an extra long mom vacation Saturday so he gets the point :)

    valstulas[Deleted User]
  • jemasa33 said:

    As someone who works full time and is taking two Grad classes, I definitely understand the need for sleep. My job is very stressful at times and it so hard to be on point without sleep. You can never predict what day your body will end up crashing.

    That being said, he can communicate that to you without being a dick. Staying at home is not easy. Please make sure you take an extra long mom vacation Saturday so he gets the point :)

    This. He works and goes to school with a family? That is very tough. I've BTDT so I know first-hand.

    However, that doesn't mean that your "job" isn't as important, that you don't deserve a break, or that you are unworthy of his respect. If he doesn't like your arrangement, he needs to verbalize that to you instead of making underhanded passive-aggressive comments when he's buzzed.


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    [Deleted User][Deleted User]
  • summerandmattsummerandmatt member
    Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its 500 Comments Photogenic
    edited December 2013
    @valstulas & @jemasa33 he graduated last weekend. I'm very proud of him bc it was very hard, but it was also a mutual effort. And he's said that before but now I'm starting to think he doesn't really believe it. @Carrie3102 I would LOVE to have a whole day to myself but LO won't take a bottle :( maybe I'll come back to nurse her and bounce again ;) Oh, and he also said"it's life choices." But when I was working with DD1 we BOTH decided me staying home was best.

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    valstulas
  • Our DHs are in the dog house together. During a fight yesterday he also pulled the "you get hour long breaks during the day when he eats" (all his meals turn into a nap on my lap with a boob as a paci). Oh yeah, I love being stuck on the couch, unable to pee, eat or drink. It took an unbelievable amount of self control not to deck him. Sorry, but you don't get to say how easy or how hard something is until you've done it.
    Me: 31  H: 31
    Married: 4/5/13
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    "You know that place between sleep and awake, 
    that place where you can still remember dreaming?
    That's where I will always love you.  
    That's where I'll be waiting."
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    summerandmatt
  • @Cfreymc yep, they suck. I love how he thinks DD2 would even sit through a bunch of movies lol I guess he thinks my idea of "relaxing" is having an infant suck my nipples raw and deal with DD2 constantly badgering me about being bored. No DH, I'm a good mom. We play and learn and do activities everyday, sleep deprived or not! You should take some time for yourself too!!!
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  • @summerandmatt It is most definitely a mutual effort. No doubt.


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    summerandmatt
  • Yeah we had a "discussion" like this a few weeks ago. It didn't go well. I told DH I didn't realize I worked 24/7 with no breaks and with that attitude we were done having kids. DONE.

    He's been better since then. He's still half a dumb-ass. Not sure how his ass would get wiped if I wasn't around. Good luck, OP.
    [Deleted User]
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