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June 2014 Moms
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Apparently I had a terrible lapse in judgement

MrsCase1MrsCase1 member
in June 2014 Moms
I was with some friends from a Mom group I am a part of. We were all telling stories about our kids and I shared how Lincoln asked me every day for two weeks if I had a penis. Finally, after he wouldn't take "no" for an answer, I explained that girls had vaginas. Then, I taught him how to phonetically sound out the word because when he tried saying it on his own, it sounded like "vaj-uh."

These women were horrified. One said, "My son is 7 and I still have not told him anything like that! He's so young!"

Another woman chided me that in school, they highly discourage speaking about body parts and they prefer them to be called "bathing suit areas" so I was setting my son and his future educators up for trouble. I never want to make anyone's job harder but I feel like if hearing a young child name an anatomical part makes a teacher squirm, they have bigger issues (barring any inappropriate comments on Lincoln's part, of course.)

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Re: Apparently I had a terrible lapse in judgement

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  • MNOpeaMNOpea member
    I agree that you did the right thing.
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  • liberty95liberty95 member
    It is very important for children to learn the anatomical names of their body parts. You 100% taught him the right thing and I will do the same when my son is receptive to the language.
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  • BritCHughesBritCHughes member
    It's irresponsible to let your child learn about anatomy on the school bus or play ground. & kuddos to you for teaching him the anatomically correct terms!
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  • MollySmMollySm member
    Why wouldn't you teach the the correct words?  That seems odd.
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  • MrsCase1MrsCase1 member
    A speaker once said that if you teach your kids the anatomical names, they're much more likely to alert you when someone is making them sexually uncomfortable. Clearly anything that might potentially help prevent molestation is good to me.

    When I was 6 my mom told me the very basics about sex and then never once said a word about my body ever again. Everything I learned came from friends or Cosmo. I definitely want better for my son.

    Thanks for the support. I was mainly surprised that body parts were a big deal. He has known body parts for a very long time. He can name most all of the common ones. In the bath, if I say, 'Wash your elbow, your feet, your butt' or whatever, he can do it. He has known he has a penis for a long time. So, I just figured it was a natural progression to explain the distinction.
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  • lucreciaclucreciac member
    wtfisup said:

    There's nothing obscene about human anatomy. Teach that, not shame.

    Exactly this. I think you did the right thing.
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  • hscogginshscoggins member
    As young children my grandma always referred to both male and female private parts as 'Peter' (I have a twin brother and she didn't differentiate I'm assuming to avoid an awkward conversation). You can imagine my confusion during bath time when she would remind us to 'wash our peters' bc we also have an Uncle Peter that we'd often see while growing up.
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  • Mrs.C.V.Mrs.C.V. member
    What everyone else said.

    Plus how frickin' weird is that to call them "bathing suit areas"?!?!
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  • MrsCase1MrsCase1 member
    hscoggins said:
    As young children my grandma always referred to both male and female private parts as 'Peter' (I have a twin brother and she didn't differentiate I'm assuming to avoid an awkward conversation). You can imagine my confusion during bath time when she would remind us to 'wash our peters' bc we also have an Uncle Peter that we'd often see while growing up.
    Ohmigawsh, LOL!
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  • LovetoLive614LovetoLive614 member
    I plan to teach my kids the correct terms from the beginning and plan to have age appropriate sex talks throughout their growing up years as opposed to one big awkward talk on their 18th birthday. 
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  • katekat8721katekat8721 member
    Your mom friends are weird. You didn't do anything wrong!

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  • tbmadeamistaketbmadeamistake member
    You're doing exactly right!  I learned most of my knowledge of bodies/sex from my mother's romance novels and hearing her talk to my sister, I guess by the time I got that stage she assumed I knew. 

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  • ncbellencbelle member
    Ditto everyone else.  We definitely use the correct terms  - makes zero sense not to!


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  • flerlgirlflerlgirl member
    I am loling at the phrase "bathing suit areas." We referred to them as our privates or private parts but we knew the actual names, too! I will be telling my kids the same name. I think it's silly not to; you're only doing them a disservice. 





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  • mrsgyaraymrsgyaray member
    wtfisup said:
    There's nothing obscene about human anatomy. Teach that, not shame.
    THIS

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  • MrsAMB07MrsAMB07 member
    I completely agree with your response to your son's questions.

    When DS asked, around 2-3 years old we used the correct names. He brought them up in front of his grandmother one day and she was "shocked". He though it was funny for about a week then to use the words, but he got over it. Having a little sister it was clear to him that their parts weren't the same and he asked why. It's totally normal and to be expected. I'd find it bizarre if he didn't.


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  • allrightmeowallrightmeow member
    LOL My little girl just turned 5 in October and she has known about penis and vagina since she was about 3.  She knows that mommy pushed her out of her vagina.  She knows her 8 year old cousin, who lives with us, came out of a cut in his mommy's tummy, her auntie showed her the scar.  Im can't with these "the stork brings babies" moms.  

    I teach her the proper terms because I don't believe in watering down things for her and if anyone ever touches her inappropriately she can tell me in no uncertain terms what happened.  I think it's ridiculous that they are upset with you.  You deserve new friends. 
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  • allrightmeowallrightmeow member
    I knew a kid in the fourth grade who told us at lunch that babies come out of belly buttons.  Oh how I laughed and laughed.  He was not amused. 
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  • 1A1A member
    LilNunz1 said:

    I think teaching your kids the right words is responsible. I think teaching them not to be embarrassed of their bodies is responsible, too. I don't see any issue with what you did!

    This. We use the correct words in our home.
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  • deepoceanmamadeepoceanmama member
    "bathing suit areas" is the dumbest thing I've heard in a while. Come on, now.

    "Penis" and "vagina" are the correct terms and should be used as thus. I agree with PPs.

    Fun story: my niece learned the correct terminology early, as kids should, and one day we had company over at the house. She was about 3. She was laying on her back on the couch in a dress, waving her legs in the air (she had tights on). My sister asked her to sit nicely and then quietly mentioned that she really shouldn't lift her dress like that--it's not polite when there's company at the house. My niece responded, very loudly, "what, mommy? It's not like you can see my vagina!" Everyone laughed and now it's a great story.

    Why do people get SO worked up about this stuff???

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  • Luna CLuna C member
    Mrs Case said:
    Well, the one friend with the 7 year old was syaing that her son had never asked in 7 years and she had not volunteered the info. She was surprised, I suppose, that Lincoln was asking at two.

    If her kid really hasn't asked by age 7, I'm thinking there's a lot of repression in general in that house. Most kids I know well are asking that question by 3 or at the latest -- depending on if they have other siblings of the other gender, have seen their parents naked, etc. By 7, I truly think most kids have asked that question -- maybe just not at home...
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  • megzepmegzep member
    Oh boy. Those ladies should watch the vagina monologues!!!!! My same thoughts have all been said above.
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  • erind228erind228 member
    I agree with everyone. You did the right thing.  My daughter and son(3 and 2 respectively), know what the anatomical name is for each of their parts, but in general, we call them privates.  Don't second guess yourself!
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  • christinemurray91christinemurray91 member
    This is ridiculous.

    Ellie is two and knows boys have a penis and girls have a scootch (she doesnt like vagina, she likes scootch), because she saw daddy peeing once and asked. 

    So?

    I can't imagine what kind of issues you have to have to think a kid knowing a part of the anatomy means anything other than them knowing parts of the anatomy...
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  • christinemurray91christinemurray91 member
    Mrs Case said:
    Luna C said:
    The only lapse in judgment I see is that you clearly could've picked some smarter friends. 

    Withholding names of body parts from a seven year old is just kooky. How long is he going to wait -- until he's 17? And she thinks he'll just assume boys and girls look like Ken and Barbie dolls under their clothes? 

    Da fuq?
    Well, the one friend with the 7 year old was syaing that her son had never asked in 7 years and she had not volunteered the info. She was surprised, I suppose, that Lincoln was asking at two.

    These particular friends are conservative so perhaps in their minds their is a link to this conversation and sexuality? I can't speak for them, obviously. But even with that, sexuality is a part of who my kids will be, whether it is awkward for me or not. I have a pretty good poker face so I am going to try to teach them about sexuality, too, so they don't learn about it somewhere else. Our personal plan is to de-mistify as much as we can.
    Omg. I can't even imagine. I was raised to believe that all of that was so wrong and was kind of a slut later on... Ellie and baby  #2 will be well educated on the subject and we're gong to encourage open discussion on it throughout their lives. 
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