when does it get better?

beccaxbooxbear · December 2013

Avery sleeps good during the day But at night I struggle to get him to fall asleep. I do have him awake for a bit during the day to get him to sleep better at night. He goes down around 10:30/11 and will sleep until 1:30/2 but after that I can't seem to get him to fall asleep. I rock him, walk around the house with him in my arms, etc but he just looks around and doesn't seem interested in sleeping. By the time I do get him asleep he wakes up about 10 minutes later for his next feeding. Ive been up since 1:30 today and ds1 woke up at 6:15 So im completely exhausted and can't stop crying. I feel so depressed and alone. I hate watching dh sleep while I'm up with him for hours but I can't wake him because of the meds he takes and he needs to sleep them off before work. I don't know how many more nights I can go. I try sleeping when ds1 takes his nap but lo either wants to feed at that time or I can't fall asleep at all. Dh took ds1 after work yesterday So I could sleep but again I couldn't fall asleep I had a bad neck kink. Ive slept about 8 hours since Sunday. I hate the way I feel. I hate that my 16 month old is seeing me cry and he doesn't know what to think or do. Dh won't let me go stay with my parents for a bit because he doesn't want the extra commute and doesn't want to be tired at work. I feel stuck. I don't know what to do. I struggled so badly the first time with ppd and ended up hospitalized I don't want to end up there again. When I sleep I feel a world of a difference even if for 2 hours. I don't want to lose my mind. I don't want this to affect my kids. I know we're all sleep deprived and struggling I just don't know who to talk to. I feel so alone.

aeterhune · December 2013

We have been going through that too. Will your LO stay content in a swing or laying in the crib? Even if he is awake, maybe you could catch a nap while he is somewhere safe?

[Deleted User] · December 2013

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CJS2011 · December 2013

j0509 said:
I didnt want to quote cause it was too long, but this is bullshit.
"Dh won't let me go stay with my parents for a bit because he doesn't want the extra commute and doesn't want to be tired at work."
If you know that going to stay with your parents will help, then go.

This! What does your DH do for a living that he can't be just a little tired for? My DH works 12 hour night shifts and goes out of his way to help me out, even it's during the day when he should be sleeping. I would be more than pissed. Can you go to your parents' for a couple days and just stay there so he wouldn't have to commute?

daniann333 · December 2013

Cupcakesandquilts said:

I agree with a PP. your husband needs to man up and take care of his family! Why should you be the only one struggling? And you don't need his permission to stay at your parents' house if that would help you.

This. I was in the same situation and I took ds1 and ds2 to my moms for the weekend. I needed to get some help from someone...He stayed home and eventually came around and realized I will do what I have to do to keep my children safe. This includes being a somewhat rested mommy. Go to your parents and tell DH to suck it up. You will end up resenting him and sometimes a marriage cant come back from that

babymama619 · December 2013

I agree with PPs . Let baby sleep and figure out how to get to your parents or get them to you. My dd is 6 weeks tomorrow and still has several nights a week like that. After 2 I NEED help. You need to do what you need to do regardless of DH.

BeachCouple · December 2013

Can you go to your parents without him??

SharonB222 · December 2013

Even one day or night of help can do wonders. My mom intervened twice where she insisted she and DH help me out overnight. She gave us both orders. Even though I am EBF the simple help with burping and diapers for one night really made a difference. DH is now taking DS downstairs after the 5am feeding and I get to sleep 1 hour uninterrupted - almost two hours today! I get to my wits end and one good nap sets me right for the week. Perhaps you could google for tips sleeping? I read that meditation can be just as refreshing (maybe more so) if sleep is evasive. There a lot of options between no help and hospitalization. I give you permission to pursue those

. If the hospital cost anything, put that money instead towards a preventative option - e.g. my friend had a night nanny. GL. Hugs.

beccaxbooxbear · December 2013

I need to do something because I'm going to lose it bad! I think I'm gunna go to my parents house for the weekend atleast. Dh will have to suck it up because I want to be a good mom. I can't keep going like this. Dh keeps saying "you're strong you can do this" but I think it's a cop out So he doesn't have to admit I need help. I love my boys but right now I'm not myself at all. I'm really scared. Thank you ladies for your support.

SharonB222 · December 2013

Oh, and it does get better. We both know that. We "just" have to get through the long days until that time. A friend of mine has a toddler the same age as mine. She had LO#2 five mos earlier than mine. She fell off the planet for a bit (as have I now) and then she was able to return calls (when I was pd) and briefly warned me about the upcoming challenge, and now she is calling me... I assume it's gotten better for her. I just looked at your soggy: 2 under 2 - of course you're having a tough go of it! I am sure there are plenty of 2u2 survivors

to encourage you!

drowe214 · December 2013

I feel like I hit a wall mentally this morning. I'm getting pretty sick of ground hogs day but did get some support today which helped. Hang in there, it does suck when you know LO is tired and won't go down.

daniann333 · December 2013

beccaxbooxbear said:

I need to do something because I'm going to lose it bad! I think I'm gunna go to my parents house for the weekend atleast. Dh will have to suck it up because I want to be a good mom. I can't keep going like this. Dh keeps saying "you're strong you can do this" but I think it's a cop out So he doesn't have to admit I need help. I love my boys but right now I'm not myself at all. I'm really scared. Thank you ladies for your support.

you have to do what is best for you an your children. DH takes a backseat right now. Your marriage is important, but your sanity even more so. Your kids come first and always should. Good for you for going there for the weekend. You NEED this

elroda · December 2013

Big hug! You've got this! You are opening up and venting to keep yourself focused on being well--you rock momma! I completely identify with even a little sleep making a difference and have had to wake DH up a few times for sanity.

LO is on the same schedule, 10/11, ½, 5/6. There were two nights when the middle feeding or first night feeding got really really long leaving me no sleep. So I went and got a rock n play and said screw you to my DH who thought it would be a waste. He gets to sleep...what does he know!!
I have also tried more tummy time in the evening and last night did the boba wrap during the "fussy" part of the evening. Kept LO content and sleepy. Is there a family member or friend who can come stay with you so YOU can sleep and your kiddos be cared for?

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