2nd Trimester

Should I have another Baby Shower??

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Re: Should I have another Baby Shower??

  • Darbie914 said:
    ""Nope.  A shower is to welcome a new mother to motherhood."" Huh?? Who came up with this??

    baby shower is a way to celebrate the pending or recent birth of a child by presenting gifts to the parents at a party (that's the actual definition... Look it up!). 
    What would you say to someone who is having their second child 14 years after the first when they clearly have nothing left from the previous baby??? Should this second one not be celebrated just as much as the first?
    "You should have saved your baby stuff."

    In all seriousness though, it's not my business how/when my friends and family decide to procreate.  If you want to have your children spaced 1 or 12 years apart, more power to you.  However, it is my business when people continue to hit me up for gifts because they didn't plan better.  It's not up to others to provide you with things to raise your child.  

    Also, you CAN celebrate every child.  No one is debating that.  But having another baby shower is not the only way to do so.  There are more appropriate and less tacky ways to celebrate.
    First of all I want to say I understand your point.

    (to the bold lettering)
    A. You don't HAVE to go to the baby shower
    and
    B. what exactly do you mean by more appropriate ways?

    It's a BOY










  • I did not know people get all worked up about this.  If someone offers to do it, why not let them.  No one is twisting the arm of anyone to make them go.  In the moms group Im in, we always throw something for a pregnant member.  It's fun and we all enjoy it.  The last one was a surprise and she was bawling crying when she came in and was so happy, which made all of us happy.   Eh, life is short.  I get excited for all my preggy friends.  I don't get in a huff about buying some oneies and wash cloths for someone I love.  Im weird like that.  


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  • NO. tacky. my DD was 2 when DS was born, so a boy after a girl and still NO. Unless special circumstances, I.e. Long time between children or new marriage, this is definately gift grabby.

    #1 DD June 2009
    #2 DS July 2011
    #3 DD June
    2014
    CP December 2015
    M/C 8/2016
    Rainbow & Babe #4 EDD 7.28.18





      



  • Why do people keep harping on "Well people don't have to go" when the point is it's tacky to even have one & invite them in the first place?

    imageimageimage
    H e n r y  May 21, 2014

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  • Why do people keep harping on "Well people don't have to go" when the point is it's tacky to even have one & invite them in the first place?

    I guess it's a "I don't care if this is tacky, and just in case I can squeeze one more gift out of you, I am sure as hell gonna try" kinda thing.
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  • Darbie914 said:


    JKBMA2014 said:


    Darbie914 said:



    ""Nope.  A shower is to welcome a new mother to motherhood."" Huh?? Who came up with this??

    baby shower is a way to celebrate the pending or recent birth of a child by presenting gifts to the parents at a party (that's the actual definition... Look it up!). 
    What would you say to someone who is having their second child 14 years after the first when they clearly have nothing left from the previous baby??? Should this second one not be celebrated just as much as the first?

    "You should have saved your baby stuff."

    In all seriousness though, it's not my business how/when my friends and family decide to procreate.  If you want to have your children spaced 1 or 12 years apart, more power to you.  However, it is my business when people continue to hit me up for gifts because they didn't plan better.  It's not up to others to provide you with things to raise your child.  

    Also, you CAN celebrate every child.  No one is debating that.  But having another baby shower is not the only way to do so.  There are more appropriate and less tacky ways to celebrate.

    First of all I want to say I understand your point.

    (to the bold lettering)
    A. You don't HAVE to go to the baby shower
    and
    B. what exactly do you mean by more appropriate ways?




    A. Of course I don't have to go to the shower.  But let's say a family member is having a second shower.  Now I'm in a tough position because if I don't go, I might not hear the end of it and I feel obligated to attend.  If I do go, I'm uncomfortable.  So the whole 'don't go if you don't want to' doesn't always apply because it's not always so cut and dry.  And plus, people who want to give you a gift will do so whether there is a shower or not.  

    B.  How about a 'Meet the Baby' party, a Sip n See, or maybe just call up some friends and family and say, "Hey guys!  Would you like to come over to our house on Saturday for a BBQ and drinks?  Great, see you guys then!"  Being pregnant doesn't mean that the only party you can have/attend is a shower.  It doesn't have to have a title at all.


    I'm confused then. Will there be gift giving at these untitled events? Because if so then it sounds to me more like, hey would you like to come over for a bbq so you can give me my gifts? Sounds like a baby shower to me without calling it a baby shower.

    It's a BOY










  • honestly, i wouldn't do it and i would decline if someone offered to host one for me so close to my first child. and if i did get an invite for a second shower so soon, i probably would not attend.  i do not buy people cheap gifts so if i don't attend and i'm questioned as to why i would politely say that i cannot afford to buy anymore gifts. do as you will, but this is just my opinion.
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  • For those saying that a shower is to welcome a new mother to motherhood....I feel that's ridiculous. It's called a BABYshower...not a mothershower. If friends and family are excited about a new baby, let them shower the new baby !!!

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  • Madela09 said:
    For those saying that a shower is to welcome a new mother to motherhood....I feel that's ridiculous. It's called a BABYshower...not a mothershower. If friends and family are excited about a new baby, let them shower the new baby !!!
    I stayed quiet with this post until now.  Are you kidding me?  If the shower was about the baby, the baby would be present!  If you baby isn't born yet, they are not the guest of honor. Period.  You are an idiot if you don't understand this.  A shower for #2 is completely tacky. 
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  • Darbie914 said:
    JKBMA2014 said:
    JKBMA2014 said:
    Darbie914 said:
    ""Nope.  A shower is to welcome a new mother to motherhood."" Huh?? Who came up with this??

    baby shower is a way to celebrate the pending or recent birth of a child by presenting gifts to the parents at a party (that's the actual definition... Look it up!). 
    What would you say to someone who is having their second child 14 years after the first when they clearly have nothing left from the previous baby??? Should this second one not be celebrated just as much as the first?
    "You should have saved your baby stuff."

    In all seriousness though, it's not my business how/when my friends and family decide to procreate.  If you want to have your children spaced 1 or 12 years apart, more power to you.  However, it is my business when people continue to hit me up for gifts because they didn't plan better.  It's not up to others to provide you with things to raise your child.  

    Also, you CAN celebrate every child.  No one is debating that.  But having another baby shower is not the only way to do so.  There are more appropriate and less tacky ways to celebrate.
    First of all I want to say I understand your point.

    (to the bold lettering)
    A. You don't HAVE to go to the baby shower
    and
    B. what exactly do you mean by more appropriate ways?

    A. Of course I don't have to go to the shower.  But let's say a family member is having a second shower.  Now I'm in a tough position because if I don't go, I might not hear the end of it and I feel obligated to attend.  If I do go, I'm uncomfortable.  So the whole 'don't go if you don't want to' doesn't always apply because it's not always so cut and dry.  And plus, people who want to give you a gift will do so whether there is a shower or not.  

    B.  How about a 'Meet the Baby' party, a Sip n See, or maybe just call up some friends and family and say, "Hey guys!  Would you like to come over to our house on Saturday for a BBQ and drinks?  Great, see you guys then!"  Being pregnant doesn't mean that the only party you can have/attend is a shower.  It doesn't have to have a title at all.
    I'm confused then. Will there be gift giving at these untitled events? Because if so then it sounds to me more like, hey would you like to come over for a bbq so you can give me my gifts? Sounds like a baby shower to me without calling it a baby shower.
    No, a BBQ is not a gift giving event.  Meet the Baby/Sip n Sees are not gift giving events.  Both are ways to have a celebration.
    Ahhh ok. Well then that makes more sense to me!

    It's a BOY










  • Sip n sees are indeed gift giving events. I have never shown up to a sip n see empty handed (showing up to see a new baby without a gift is bad manners) nor have I been to one where mom wasn't registered.
  • For fuck sake, can we drop this already? I think we know where everyone stands. There are also 5,000 posts literally about this same exact thing. If you're still unclear on the etiquitte, go to one of those or Google it. The people that ask these questions just want validation and are going to do what they want anyway as evidenced by OP's only marking posts that agree with her as answers anyway.
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    image
  • Darbie914 said:
     
    What would you say to someone who is having their second child 14 years after the first when they clearly have nothing left from the previous baby??? Should this second one not be celebrated just as much as the first?
    "You should have saved your baby stuff."
    Yeah...this is where I disagree.  I am due in May with my 2nd child, a boy.  My daughter will be just a tad shy of 9 and I have spent the last 8 years giving my clothes, toys, baby items to friends and family as they started their families....including maternity clothes.

    My sister and BF are throwing me a shower.  I was sort of against it at first because of the stigma of second showers...but I have had such a long road to this point, I am ready to celebrate.

    I do agree that if you have your children within a couple of years and the same sex...maybe not...they do "sprinkles" here where I am from where we get together for lunch and get cute little things to celebrate the baby.


  • Darbie914 said:
    jjtyler said:
    Darbie914 said:
     
    What would you say to someone who is having their second child 14 years after the first when they clearly have nothing left from the previous baby??? Should this second one not be celebrated just as much as the first?
    "You should have saved your baby stuff."
    Yeah...this is where I disagree.  I am due in May with my 2nd child, a boy.  My daughter will be just a tad shy of 9 and I have spent the last 8 years giving my clothes, toys, baby items to friends and family as they started their families....including maternity clothes.

    My sister and BF are throwing me a shower.  I was sort of against it at first because of the stigma of second showers...but I have had such a long road to this point, I am ready to celebrate.

    I do agree that if you have your children within a couple of years and the same sex...maybe not...they do "sprinkles" here where I am from where we get together for lunch and get cute little things to celebrate the baby.


    @jjtyler

    But here's the thing: you chose to give away your baby things.  That was your decision and yours alone.  So because now you have nothing left, other people need to gift you with baby stuff again?

    I get wanting to celebrate and all that.  But if the sole purpose of wanting another shower is simply to get shit, that's taking advantage of others' generosity.  People will give you gifts if they want to.  They don't need to attend another shower for you to do so.
    I chose to give it all away is the easy assumption. Or there is the reality that I gave maternity clothes to my friend who found herself pregnant and then lost her job who then paid it forward to another friend...or the friend who lost a lot of her daughter's brand new clothes during Hurricane Sandy who I gave all my 2T clothes to.  I can well afford to replace the "things" I will need and understand the hesitation to have a second baby shower.  I myself experienced the hesitation.  Everyone's experiences are different, that's all I am saying.

    After almost 9 years and a long personal journey (which had nothing to do with IF) to get to this point to be carrying a second child, I accept that my friends and family want to celebrate that with a nice party....and presents.
     


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