A/S "Guests"

Valie18 · December 2013

So... my A/S is booked for Jan 3. Yay!

DH doesn't know if he can take the afternoon off and won't know until the week of b/c his supervisor is on vacation until then. I called my Mom this evening and asked her if she would keep that afternoon open for me in case DH has to be at work. She was really enthusiastic about coming and has already committed my Dad also.

I started thinking that it would be nice to invite them anyway even if DH can attend. DH really likes the idea of them being there. (They have been so enthusiastic about this LO and supportive of us.) Then I was thinking that if one set of grands is invited both should be, except that this will make a potential party of six plus DH and I plus the tech and a potential circus.

I'm going to call the office tomorrow and see how many are allowed and go from there.

Any advice? Who will be at your A/S?

HeyAmberNicole · December 2013

I have mine that day too!

It's going to be boyfriend and my son. The doc said we could bring as many as we wanted, but we want to share it our way instead of having a ton of people crammed in the room looking at my innards haha Plus, boyfriends family tends to make things all about them and how anything will affect them, so I'm okay with just boyfriend and my son

k2k2tog · December 2013

The fewer people the better for me. I've found both of my ultrasounds so far to be largely uncomfortable, involving a little more exposure than I would have liked. My DH was there for both and will be there for our A/S, but I definitely wouldn't want anyone else there. If he couldn't be there, I'd prefer to do it alone. The clinic I went to doesn't allow anyone else in the room until the very end for a baby viewing anyway.

But, if you're comfortable having them all there, there's no harm in asking!

Valie18 · December 2013

sempre_staccato said:

The fewer people the better for me. I've found both of my ultrasounds so far to be largely uncomfortable, involving a little more exposure than I would have liked. My DH was there for both and will be there for our A/S, but I definitely wouldn't want anyone else there. If he couldn't be there, I'd prefer to do it alone. The clinic I went to doesn't allow anyone else in the room until the very end for a baby viewing anyway.

But, if you're comfortable having them all there, there's no harm in asking!

Oh gosh, I forgot about this. Will definitely need a wax if it is anyone other than DH or Mom and Dad :-S

Read247 · December 2013

Honestly I never even thought of having anyone but my husband go with me. I think its kind of a personal thing... Since we are the parents I feel like we should be the first to know. My mom is the first one I tell, but I don't feel the need to have my parents (or his) in the room. If you're comfortable with it find out their policy and go from there. Your body, your baby, your decision.

Valie18 · December 2013

amoot890 said:

If you really want all of those people (and they allow it) then do it.

Personally I wouldn't want to do this. Aside from it being hectic in there (my ultrasounds are done in a tiny little room, I doubt that many would even fit!). But then my PGAL brain would say - what if there is something wrong? Do I really want all of them there right in that moment?

Good point. I won't tell my Mom this, but it is a big part of why I don't want to go alone. I wouldn't want there to be a circus in that case either.

katekat8721 · December 2013

You should double check with the office. At our a/s it's done in the radiology department, and only myself and hubby are allowed. The radiologist called to say "that means no kids... and mothers and mother in laws count as kids"

If we get an elective then whoever we want can come. But the a/s is looking at so much more than just the sex and they may want it as distraction free as possible.

Mrs_D_in_KY · December 2013

I am usually only dragging my husband to appointments such as that. But we figure this time we'll involve our son so he gets to see the baby as well. He's excited and can't wait to see what he/she looks like.

PinkKEL9 · December 2013

My mom will be there. She also went to my NT scan. We are really close and I want her there! She will also be there when I deliver.

xnbride · December 2013

Since it is a medical appt I would just want DH but then maybe schedule an elective ultrasound and invite the family. Those places are designed to accommodate family and are alot more fun then a medical ultrasound especially if your tech is not too personable.

LegalLadyBug · December 2013

With my a/s with DD it was just me, DH wasn't even allowed to be in the room. Most awkward hour of my life laying in the dim room with the monitor pointed away from me and the tech saying nothing. I was just told my doctor would let me know the results. My current OB is much different though. The tech tells me after every scan that she didn't see any red flags, how they were measuring etc. so definitely check with your OB for their policy.

MissBHaven1024 · December 2013

It will just be DH and DD#2 (odds are DD#1 will be at school). I would just keep in mind that a lot of those offices tend to be smaller, and a lot of places don't allow that many people to be in there with you. It sounds fun to have them all there, but I would definitely recommend calling and see if it's permitted before just showing up and being let down when they are stuck in the waiting room.

curlylocks3 · December 2013

It will just be H and I at my scan. I wouldn't want lots of guests, just in case something were wrong- and for the same reason I wouldn't want to be alone. If H can't make it we will reschedule though.

kks4471 · December 2013

I scanned an A/S last month where the wife, DH, and both sets of parents were there. I was fine with it, but I think their parents were uncomfortable! My room is big enough, but I only have one extra chair. Their parents had to stand for close to an hour, which isn't fun. Just something for you to think about!

chaysefaith · December 2013

We are doing an elective scan next weekend and I invited my parents and have been trying to get him to invite his mom but he hasn't yet.

At the actual 20 week scan it will probably just be me, our schedules clash too much and he doesn't get to come to any of my appointments.

erind228 · December 2013

My husband is it. Although, he may be out of town in training so if that is the case I will invite my mom to come for moral support.

wtfisup · December 2013

I'd love to have my little brother-in-law there, but he's far away. Our parents would drive me nuts.

MrsAMB07 · December 2013

Mine is the 10th! We have always invited our moms along. DH and I are both comfortable with that. They're who we'd turn to right away if, God forbid, we were given bad news... because it's a medical appointment, after all. Where I go, they take just me in and do all of the medical stuff, then they bring DH and our moms in to check the baby out, find out the sex (if we're doing that), etc.

They've both told me how honored they were to be there, so I feel good about our decision. It was fun to see their excitement, as well, and didn't take away from the moment for DH and I. I didn't invite FIL, but I don't think he'd necessarily be comfortable and I know I wouldn't be... so this worked for us.

Last time DS came, as well. I'm not sure if we'll bring him this time, since he has preschool that day or what we'll do with DD (She's too noisy/unpredictable for me to bring her along to an appointment.)

babygabe614 · December 2013

DH will be with me and I am thinking about bringing my mom. I know it would mean a lot to her, since she hasn't been invited to any of my appointments so far but I'm a little worried about how she'll react if the LO is a boy. She'll be happy for us either way but she has 100% convinced herself the baby is a girl and I just know she'll make some big heavy sigh if they find out the opposite. I just don't want that to ruin the moment for DH and I.

ashquack · December 2013

I think if that's what sounds great to you then do it! My best friend had her in-laws, parents and husband in the room and she said it was an amazing experience for her:) I hope you have just as great an experience!!!

rmjones15 · December 2013

Just me and my husband..this is his first and I want him to have a good experience. Ours isn't until the end of January though....boo!!

katekat8721 · December 2013

jmar2011 said:
I want just dh and I. My sister from day 1 has said she is going to be in there. There is no arguing with her, and she can be quite a bitch when she doesn't get her way. I really don't want extra guests, but i figure i might as well let her in there for this to make her happy, then it will make it easier telling her she won't be in the delivery room... give her a little bone to make the world a little easier.

You gotta stand up to your sis. You're the mom, and if you let her walk over you now then she'll only continue to do it.

curlylocks3 · December 2013

katekat8721 said:

jmar2011 said:
I want just dh and I. My sister from day 1 has said she is going to be in there. There is no arguing with her, and she can be quite a bitch when she doesn't get her way. I really don't want extra guests, but i figure i might as well let her in there for this to make her happy, then it will make it easier telling her she won't be in the delivery room... give her a little bone to make the world a little easier.
You gotta stand up to your sis. You're the mom, and if you let her walk over you now then she'll only continue to do it.

Or it might teach her that if she is insistent enough she'll get her way and she will redouble her efforts to be in the delivery room. At least that's how my ILs are. If you give a mouse a cookie...

ElTrain5 · December 2013

For my sister's a/s she had her DH, mom, dad, myself and my husband. it was really tight. it depends on the office though, her office didn't "officially" allow guests, but she quietly asked her doctor and the tech the day of the scan and they just said "as long as everyone stays silent". It probably helped that we were all sitting in the waiting room with blue and pink rattles.

MrsCase1 · December 2013

I invited my parents and the limit in the room is 3 for my doctor.

Pepper6 · December 2013

If it were the opposite way, and H was pregnant and I was the 'other' parent, I'd be pretty upset if I found out the sex of my own child AFTER my ILs. I'd reschedule the appointment for a time I was sure H could make it, and if he couldn't I'd honestly rather go alone so I could still tell him first.

Kinipela7 · December 2013

Mine is Jan 6th and it will only be DH and I. I like simple!

MrsAMB07 · December 2013

katekat8721 said:

I want just dh and I. My sister from day 1 has said she is going to be in there. There is no arguing with her, and she can be quite a bitch when she doesn't get her way. I really don't want extra guests, but i figure i might as well let her in there for this to make her happy, then it will make it easier telling her she won't be in the delivery room... give her a little bone to make the world a little easier.
You gotta stand up to your sis. You're the mom, and if you let her walk over you now then she'll only continue to do it.

My sister can be the same way, but trust me... set boundaries before the baby comes!

Valie18 · December 2013

Pepper6 said:

If it were the opposite way, and H was pregnant and I was the 'other' parent, I'd be pretty upset if I found out the sex of my own child AFTER my ILs. I'd reschedule the appointment for a time I was sure H could make it, and if he couldn't I'd honestly rather go alone so I could still tell him first.

If DH isn't there, I'll ask the tech to try to keep the sex secret. I completely agree that DH should be the first to know everything.

Rescheduling is not an option I am ready to persue. I was supposed to start an exchange to Europe on the 6th. I was actually planning to get the scan done over there on my own, however the baby is measuring big and it is possible and much easier and less expensive to have it done here. I've bumped back my start date to the 13th for the scan and follow-up appointment. After those are done I need to get my bottom on an airplane. I'd be more flexible under different circumstances.

RaeJ004 · December 2013

For my own it will be just DH and I, just like it was when I was pregnant with DD. When my sister had her DD there were 12 of us in the room. It was overwhelming and crazy. But when they said "It's a girl!" then we all burst out in applause and cheered. It was fun.

RaeJ004 · December 2013

MrsAMB07 said:

katekat8721 said:

I want just dh and I. My sister from day 1 has said she is going to be in there. There is no arguing with her, and she can be quite a bitch when she doesn't get her way. I really don't want extra guests, but i figure i might as well let her in there for this to make her happy, then it will make it easier telling her she won't be in the delivery room... give her a little bone to make the world a little easier.
You gotta stand up to your sis. You're the mom, and if you let her walk over you now then she'll only continue to do it.

My sister can be the same way, but trust me... set boundaries before the baby comes!

RaeJ004 · December 2013

This. Give them an inch and they will take a mile. My mom flipped when I told her she would not be attending the ultrasounds or in the delivery room. But I am SO HAPPY that it was just DH and I on both occasions. She will learn to deal. ETA - wording

KristaU831 · December 2013

since you never know what you could find out at this appointment i'd only invite people you know wouldn't be assholes if there was bad news or an unexpected diagnosis. there is way more to an A/S than finding out what your baby is packing between it's legs.

Valie18 · December 2013

I called and they have a limit of three people so we invited my Mom and Dad whether or not DH can make it. I'm a little relieved we're not inviting everyone!

KristaU831 · December 2013

MegK82 said:

@KristaU831, you're back! I've missed seeing your voice around here!

@megk82 yeah! i got caught up in website stuff all week! and holiday prep. oy.

littlemonstermama · December 2013

Here are the first thing that come to mind...

1. The a/s takes FOREVER.
2. Those rooms are hot.
3. Those rooms are cramped.
4. That's a lot of small talk while the tech is taking 17 measurements of kidneys.
5. Are they only going to find out the sex, or are all those people actually that excited about finding out if all the organs are growing properly?

Valie18 · December 2013

littlemonstermama said:

Here are the first thing that come to mind...

1. The a/s takes FOREVER.
2. Those rooms are hot.
3. Those rooms are cramped.
4. That's a lot of small talk while the tech is taking 17 measurements of kidneys.
5. Are they only going to find out the sex, or are all those people actually that excited about finding out if all the organs are growing properly?

The first 3/4 of the scan it's just me and the tech.

I don't know if they know that we could potentially find out the sex at this appointment. We won't learn anything about the health of the LO until the follow-up, although I imagine that some things I will notice right away (e.g. heartbeat). My parents are excited for a chance to see their grand for 15 mins or so, and want to be there for me in case DH can't come.

StacyH0507 · December 2013

My mom is coming along with my husband and I because our a/s is on Christmas eve and she will be in town for the holiday.

demomma15 · December 2013

We did an elective ultrasound and took both sets of grandparents. I didn't want to feel overwhelmed at the a/s but everyone enjoyed the experience and we all got to fimd out together that we are having a Boy!

skyview222 · December 2013

I don't have family in the area, so I had not considered the idea for the A/S. My fiance plans to be there and work wouldn't keep him away typically.

If my mom was in town or his mom, they would probably be invited, but that is probably because they usually miss a lot of special moments, being far away. If they lived in town, I probably would just want my fiance.

Want a personalized experience?

A/S "Guests"

Re: A/S "Guests"

Choose Another Board

Search Boards

Want a personalized experience?

A/S "Guests"

Re: A/S &quot;Guests&quot;

Choose Another Board

Search Boards

Re: A/S "Guests"