Am I being ridiculous!?

MamaHollywood27 · December 2013

Ok for starters I may very well be over reacting and will own it if so.

Ok so like I said yesterday my cousin had her baby (she is ACTUALLY DHs cousin but we are close) anyways my SIL said she was going to see them today and asked if I wanted to go along. I told her that while I would LOVE to unless they go early enough so I can leave DD w DH and be back before he has to leave for work because she had a runny nose. SIL then tells me that her DD is sick to and got sent home from daycare yesterday (she is 9months old) and she took her to the doc and got her meds. So then I said well your not going to take her to see the newborn right? She says she is honestly fine. So I leave it alone to then text her I really hope that you wouldn't bring her to see my newborn if she has a runny nose fever or even a crusty eye. She text me back of course not your crazy paranoid about stuff when ur kids are little. .... Ok so here is my question, am I wrong to be suggesting that she NOT take her sick on antibiotics for less then 24hrs kid to a hospital?

Now I should add that when I had my 3rd DS a friend brought her sick DS to visit, did not tell me he was sick til she got there, he ended up w a fever at about 15 days old and since it was before he was 21 days old it was an automatic spinal tap! It was traumatic for me, even if my son doesn't remember. This is a routine type of testing if a fever comes on before 21 days because other diseases can pop up. I know one other acquaintance that dealt w something similar. I'm not trying to be bossy or rude but I don't think she using very good judgment....

Sorry I know this got a little long and venty, and ill admit I am a lil on the paranoid side when it comes to the littles cuz they are so helpless.

oscarkat · December 2013

You're absolutely right I think.

No matter what your SIL's opinion is on sick children visiting newborns, she shouldn't be bringing her's to see one. If she was ok with a sick kid around her baby, fine, it's her choice. The other way around is completely wrong.

boogerbearoriginal · December 2013

Not ridiculous, newborns have almost zero immune system so a simple cold can turn into something much worse very easily. IMO it's incredibly rude and irresponsible to bring a sick child to visit a brand new baby, ESPECIALLY since the sick kid is only 9m old and couldn't care less about "meeting" this new baby.

She's being an ass dragging her sick kid out/about for no good reason.

MrsEvinsky · December 2013

I would think it's common sense not to visit a hospital with a sick child or while sick yourself. I can't believe after you texted her it didn't occur to her that perhaps she should reconsider bringing her DD.

sweet*18 · December 2013

I don't think you are being crazy, paranoid or over reacting. I have the same mind set and I am not even taking DS or DD to see my friends newborn and DS only has a cough and DD has a runny nose.

We have already told friend and family that if they even have a cold or something minor we do not want them visiting us until they are better after the baby comes. They all said they don't think that is unreasonable.

I really hope she doesn't take her to see the baby. She can see her when she isn't sick and the baby is a little older.

gfam23 · December 2013

To clarify because I got a little confused... is she saying she IS fine with taking the sick 9-month old to the hospital now, but also saying no of course she wouldn't do it when it comes to your newborn?

orchid8301 · December 2013

I take this very seriously. My son has stayed sick and has had some pretty big scares. He is not 2 yet, and I still don't let sick people around him. He is in daycare and gets plenty of exposure. If someone brought their sick child around my son or my newborn, I would kindly ask them to leave. I would not want them holding my child either. I don't think the 9 month old will have much interaction around the newborn, but the parent that holds the 9 month old will. When my baby is sick, I still hold him and love all over him, even if that means that I might get sick. Their body could very well be fighting off something that they could pass on to a young child that has no defense.

I honestly might have been more relaxed about this if my son had not had so many serious problems that started as minor colds. I am not sure there is anything you can do, but I don't think you are over reacting.

ETA: I just realized she is also talking about taking her sick baby to a hospital. This is crazy to me.

Also, I would not want to be around a sick baby when I was pregnant. Being sick and pregnant sucks, it sucks bad. It can also pose a risk to your baby.

Valentinebaby2 · December 2013

NOooooo! This is not venty and not paranoid AT ALL!!!!
Your baby nb baby is so fragile, and doesn't have it's shots yet. Absolutely no one should be visiting of they are sick!
A friend of mine doesn't allow visitors who haven't had the flu shot the first eight weeks! Although I'm not going that far, I don't judge her for that, I respect her! It's her baby and she's doing what she thinks is right to protect her child. You never have to apologize/feel bad/explain yourself for that.
You're already being a great mom. Trust your instincts no matter who it may upset.
Ok so apparently my motherly/protective side is coming out...;0)

ntroud01 · December 2013

I am with you. I think it is incredibly rude and inconsiderate to bring a sick kid to visit a newborn or even visit if they are sick. I had a friend I was supposed to meet for lunch who canceled because her DS was sick and she didn't want to pass any germs to me. Thank God we didn't meet even though she felt ok because it turned out her son had fifths disease!! This is why we will be asking anyone who wants to visit the baby to please not come if they or theirs kids are sick or think they might be getting sick. The health of the infant is way more important that someone's desire to ooh and aww over the baby.

boogerbearoriginal · December 2013

If you guys do go together to visit cousin/baby and she brings the sick-o I'd be the asshole who 'innocently' asks upon arrival "oh is baby feeling better now???" to give mom the heads up what's going on.

MamaHollywood27 · December 2013

Ok I appreciate all your feedback. Like I said I do tend to be a lil paranoid but usually when it's warranted. I'm glad I texted her and kind of "forewarned" that she better not bring a sick kid to the hospital by me, I was hoping that that would maybe lightbulb her to do the same curtsey for the cousin. Hell I am a babyholic and itching to see this LO but not going to put her at risk!

MamaHollywood27 · December 2013

gfam23 said:
To clarify because I got a little confused... is she saying she IS fine with taking the sick 9-month old to the hospital now, but also saying no of course she wouldn't do it when it comes to your newborn?

Yes, she said that Quinn what "honesty fine"..... Then after I stewed a lil I sent her the text about not bringing her by me if she is sick and got the "of course not ur paranoid" text

Chereen · December 2013

Everything they said ... Plus if I were you I would give my cousin a heads up and tell her that your SIL is going to bring her sick child.

MamaHollywood27 · December 2013

Booger+Bear said:
If you guys do go together to visit cousin/baby and she brings the sick-o I'd be the asshole who 'innocently' asks upon arrival "oh is baby feeling better now???" to give mom the heads up what's going on.

I thought about this to! And I told DH if she is that adamant to go, ill watch her kid, which he then said no. He is right we don't need anymore germs here, not knowing how the next few weeks are going to go w this pregnancy. Sometimes DH is right

gfam23 · December 2013

MamaHollywood27 said:

gfam23 said:
To clarify because I got a little confused... is she saying she IS fine with taking the sick 9-month old to the hospital now, but also hutsaying no of course she wouldn't do it when it comes to your newborn?
Yes, she said that Quinn what "honesty fine"..... Then after I stewed a lil I sent her the text about not bringing her by me if she is sick and got the "of course not ur paranoid" text

She's totally irresponsible. You are not paranoid, you're a responsible, caring mother and HUMAN BEING with the common sense she so obviously lacks. I would totally give a heads up to the one currently in the hospital. Besides, the sick 9-month old would be better off resting at home than going out in public. Omg this would piss me off to no end.... so no, IMO you're not "paranoid" at all.

MamaHollywood27 · December 2013

Ugh! I'm just going to call SIL and tell her she needs to call and make cousin aware of what's going on with her DD. I bet cousin would appreciate the call and heads up in being able to make the decision on allowing the sick kid around her new baby.

MamaHollywood27 · December 2013

megash113 said:
I think it depends on the parents, honestly. The parents have the right to know beforehand that the kid is sick. If she brings the kid in without telling them first, that's shitastic. But some parents are way more relaxed about that than others.

When my nephew was born a couple months ago, DH had a cold. I told them we'd have to wait to meet the baby until he was over it, and they insisted we come to the hospital anyway. It's their second kid, so they're not paranoid about that stuff. (Especially at the time - their first kid and both of them had been sick for a week when the baby was born, so there was no escaping the germs.)

No, you're not being ridiculous. But if she tells the new parents and they say "no worries, bring her in," then there's not much anyone else can do about it.

Funny I was writing my response as u wrote yours! This is what thinking, cuz ur right they might be ok w it. And I'm glad I made it clear I AM NOT!

hammysmommy · December 2013

You mustn't be crazy (really? mustn't is a word that spell check doesn't have a problem with?) because my hospital won't let kids under 12, who are not an immediate sibling of the newborn, into the maternity ward, not even if they appear perfectly healthy. (So H&I will have to take LO out to the family waiting room if we want to let my nieces {5 and 2.5} see the baby.

And the maternity ward here is pretty strict about sick/ill people visiting too - though I don't know how they would control it.

AKAP2010 · December 2013

I 100% agree with you! If anyone brings a sick child near my newborn I would snap! There is no reason for it! I wasn't as paranoid with DS but he was a July baby so there wasn't as many colds and stuff. This time around I'm so paranoid about anyone having even a sniffle! I would also contact you cousin and let her know what's going on. She doesn't need to go through what you went through. Good luck!

Mazingmommyof6 · December 2013

I'm in shock at how rude people can be....yeah I have a bunch of children but if they are sick they won't be coming to the hospital or around the baby....who does that ?!?!?

MamaHollywood27 · December 2013

psk said:
Not ridiculous at all. Is she still in the hospital? I know at mine you can't take children under 12 unless they are the child of the mother into the rooms anyway. Maybe she will be denied access.

Yes she is still in, just had the baby yesterday around lunch!!!! I'm wondering if that is a rule at that hospital? I know it's not at ours (well the one I will be delivering at) so I didn't even think of that!..... I left a vm w my SIL just said I was calling to see how her daughter was feeling and that I would call cousin and give her a heads up so she can let her know if she should bother coming or not, it would be a shame to drive over an hour to be told to go home... My luck they are already at the hospital!

1ofme4ofthem · December 2013

My hospital says if anyone is sick they don't want them on the labor floor. Not only could a sick person get her newborn sick but others as well. I think it's very irresponsible to bring anyone sick into a hospital where people are trying to get better/ having babies. Nurses wash there hands every time coming/leaving a room and they are well. That should be an indicator. You are not overreacting at all.

BB0214 · December 2013

Not at all! You are right. Even if you were being paranoid, this is what you want. And you do what new parents want, even if it is crazy!

slwprincess · December 2013

You are right! Heck I dont even want my OWN kids around this baby if they are sick! We have had enough germs here and the thought of dealing with a sick newborn while I'm also recovering from a c/s?! No way!

MamaHollywood27 · December 2013

megash113 said:
Just curious - what wound up happening with this?

I was to late, I left a vm and she was already there, I just talked to my SIL about plans for my DH birthday dinner sat and basically said I don't want to beat a dead horse but I think it was really irresponsible for you to take your DD there, she said my FIL went w her and they traded off and kept her away from the baby. That's pretty much that... I'm still annoyed somewhat, but I guess it wasent my call to make. I did how ever message cousin and said that while I'm itching to see the new baby and would love to come visit, my dd is fighting something of a runny nose so I didn't want to bring the germs around her and will see her hopefully around Christmas. Haven't heard back from cousin (don't expect to for awhile since she did just have a baby yesterday).

AndreaG2010 · December 2013

This is why I am implementing a NO kids allowed to visit my LO in the hospital rule! With the exception of DS of course. If you bring your kid up to the hospital to visit be prepared for your kid to stay outside my room! There are several hospitals here that have that as their policy any way.

DC2011 · December 2013

You were totally in the right on this one.

calimama2007 · December 2013

Hospitals typically do not allow children not related to the baby who are under 12 for this very reason. That has been my experience.

Fabrizior · December 2013

You are not over reacting. This is one reason I am not having anyone come visit me and the baby in the hospital. We will announce our baby's birth once we are home from the hospital. And then I am putting a sign on my front door that will say something along these lines "IF YOU OR YOUR CHILD IS SICK DO NOT ENTER MY HOUSE. DO NOT COME NEAR MY CHILD UNTIL YOU ARE HEALTHY. IF I FIND OUT YOU OR YOUR CHILD IS SICK AROUND MY BABY I WILL KICK YOU OUT OF MY HOUSE SO DON'T BE SURPRISE. SIGNED ONE NERVOUS FIRST TIME MOM."

I don't care if people are offended or upset about this. I will protect my NEWBORN child to the best of my ability and if people are offended who the eff cares. At least my baby will be healthy.

MamaHollywood27 · December 2013

Fabrizior said:
You are not over reacting. This is one reason I am not having anyone come visit me and the baby in the hospital. We will announce our baby's birth once we are home from the hospital. And then I am putting a sign on my front door that will say something along these lines "IF YOU OR YOUR CHILD IS SICK DO NOT ENTER MY HOUSE. DO NOT COME NEAR MY CHILD UNTIL YOU ARE HEALTHY. IF I FIND OUT YOU OR YOUR CHILD IS SICK AROUND MY BABY I WILL KICK YOU OUT OF MY HOUSE SO DON'T BE SURPRISE. SIGNED ONE NERVOUS FIRST TIME MOM."

I don't care if people are offended or upset about this. I will protect my NEWBORN child to the best of my ability and if people are offended who the eff cares. At least my baby will be healthy.

Your sign made me giggle, but in all seriousness Im with you! Obviously. It just pisses me off that people assume cuz this is my 5th I would be more lax.... Then when they find out Im no I'm called paranoid! Grrrrrr

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